★What's your number 1 personal development tip?

There is no doubt that affirmations play a major role in anyone’s personal development journey & I know you all agree with that or you wouldn’t be here in the first place!

But other than affirmations, what would be your number one tip to anyone starting out on their own personal development journey?

I think mine would be to “be careful who you associate with”. And I think this is especially true when first starting out.

There are many people who have very low energy levels & when you spend time with them, you feel not only mentally drained, but often physically drained as well. You know the type, the world owes them a living, your life’s much better than theirs, things always go wrong for them, there’s always something wrong with them (& they enjoy telling you about it too). In a nut shell, life’s “victims”. Read sues post Energy Seekers & you’ll get the picture!!

But also, watch for the people who just “don’t get it”. These people will try to mock & humiliate if you try to discuss any type of personal development. They come from all walks of life & these people are most dangerous to you at the start of your journey, when you are probably most vulnerable to them.

Associate with high energy people, who enjoy & make the most of life & find like minded people who will encourage & support your journey!

So, what’s your tip?

i agree that the people you associate with rub off on you

the most important thign i learned when i first started was:
1. when you start the journey don’t become a PD. Junky, reading book after book and going to seminar after seminar may give you that instant hit of gratification but it all means very little if you’re unwilling to take action

for the long term i think the most important tip is:
2. written goals that are constantly referred to and revised are vital. nothing is more powerful to assess your progress and keep you on track, if you don’t have written goals then you’re not serious about achieving what you’ve set out to achieve

I agree with Mel, the people you hang out with can sap your energy. I’d rather be off on my own!

My tip is to slow down, enjoy everything you do, if it does not serve you then don’t do it. I like the saying:

“If you are unsure, just be like wood”.

I agree with Se Da Luz—write it down. Only I’d add—write-write and rewrite(: The constant revision of daily plans to accomodate higher priorities that may crop up. Be flexible-and persistent.

Always shoot for fine tuning your plans and accomplishing the most urgent areas 1st—and make time for complex items to get done in in baby steps—so they don’t get left on a back burner.

I agree with all of you. If you want to soar like an eagle, you cannot scratch at the ground with chickens.

I would add, seek wisdom. Read lots of books of people whose work you think is authoritative or rings true with your own values and belief. Continue to examine what others say in relation to your own life.

I agree with you all, also. I am married to one of life’s “victims”, always living in fear and in the past. The need to be around positive people is quite essential when first starting out on your self-growth journey.
I am thankful for my best friend’s support and for his inspiring me to begin this self-growth journey.

What I’ve learned over the last few months, also, is what I would suggest as a number 1 rule when starting out. Simply put, Accept 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING that is going on in your life, now and 4-ever. Stop playing the “Blame Game”. And Begin and End EVERY DAY, writing down EVERYTHING you have to be grateful for. An Appreciation Journal, is what many call it. This helps to get you in the “right” frame of mind in the morning and at bedtime, when our minds are more susceptible to our thoughts.

Hi John,

What you say is so true, On Accept Responsibility, this one lets us down again and again, I am always trying to give myself a kick up the backside with this, its a lesson I have to learn.
Also John a Journal is so good, I have never thought of it as an Appreciation Journal, but thanks for the title. A client gave me a Journal as a gift a few years ago and when I read back in it, I love the simple things in life I truly do appreciate. How good can life get, also reading back on events and times you have experienced and truly appreciated brings back that warm gushing feeling. NLP!
I guess this site is a bit like that, bringing like mided people together sharing information, to inspire and support each other as we all strive to be the best we can be. Thank you all for your input into this site as on behalf of all the members I think we appreciate the transfer of knowledge and wisdom the site allows us to share, also Lee as without your vision time and maintenance this site would not exist.

How do I change?
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
-Og Mandino, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”

My number one tip would be to focus. Focus, Focus, Focus!

My number one tip is to be in the present moment as much as possible. We can and should learn from the past, but not allow it to harm us. It can only do so if we allow it by dwelling on negative memories. We can and should plan for the future, but we must be careful to not sacrifice so much attention to it that we miss out on what is so great about right now. If one is 100% present in the moment, it is not possible to be angry about past wrongs or fearful about future challenges.

I love John’s Appreciation Journal idea. I think I will start one this week. Thanks, John, and thanks to all here who make this a wonderful community.

^^^ i’m listening to Stillness Speaks by Echart Tolle now, its only recently i’ve realised how important presence is, next i want to read The Power of Now and A New Earth by Tolle

Hi Everyone,

Glad to be able to offer my “input” where it is appreciated…
Actually, the “Appreciation Journal” is what I’ve heard it called by the few LOA experts that I listen to on almost a daily basis. It is, they say, a big part of what kept them focused on the good things in their life when they first began “practicing” the LOA.

And as you said , Sue, looking back on the good things, does help to keep you happy, grateful and “gushy” all over again. Thats especially useful if someone is having a horrible day and getting in thaat negative mode where they can’t think of any good. They also say to find ANYTHING to be appreciative about..even if it’s that you’ve got 10 toes. I can direct anyone to a site or 2 where there are lots of free tools regarding the laws of attraction and how to actually use it correctly to manifest your desires. I’m not affiliated with them, I just find their style and tools very helpful and endearing. Let me know.

Great post about changing, Sue! I really like that! I’m going to copy it and print it out to leave on the desk for my wife. And I guess also for myself:)

Ricky, I’ve only recently started attempting to be present. I gotta tell ya’, its one of the hardest things to do, in my opinion. I think what would help to make it easier would be to designate a certain part of the home, be it a room or a corner space, and make it “warm” and comfortable.
Maybe put nice relaxing pictures around or light some candles, maybe scented ones.

I have bought a few CDs to help me along with meditation and being present. None have really helped much. I usually fall asleep while listenig! Some have said its best NOT to have any kind of music on ‘cause then you’re actually focusing on the music , therefore, you’re not being present. I have tried both ways, with/without music or guidance, and I find that no music /distractions at all, works best for me.

se da luz, when you get up to A New Earth, I believe it’s available, still, in audio files on Oprah’s site. Theres no cost..all u have 2 do is sign up ( like here ) and then you have access to lots of useful teachings and a pretty good diverse forum. She only sends out an email every week or so to keep us updated. The audios are from when she interviewed Eckart Tolle, every Monday night , earlier this year. He answered many questions from callers, about his book, and explained alot of his writings that many folks did not understand the meaning of.
Just go to: oprah.com

Years ago—a friend taught me something from I believe (not sure) a Silva Mind course…I really don’t know the source.. I only know it has worked for me. It was entitled the blue mirror.

Best time to do this is when you are in a relaxed state—maybe not fully awake from your sleep in morning.
You envision a mirror with a blue frame around it. In this mirror see or merely feel the honesty of something you just are not liking. Example—I don’t want to get out of bed. My bed is cozy and warm..etc. I don’t want to go to work today-those people aren’t friendly. I like it here in my bed…

Next..important! step..See another mirror—with a white frame around it—and see and or note that you are full of enthusiasm—and you note that you love how organized you are about getting ready for work—and you love getting ready quickly—bringing your favorite healthy foods for lunch—note that you full of love and will see loving experiences in all persons you are in contact with. !Most important step—crash the blue mirror and open eyes immediately! You’ve just turned the corner and crashed the ideas that will get in your way of having a great day. Always make sure the ideas you want are logical. And always make sure you crash the blue negativity mirror.

I’m really enjoying reading everyones posts. John and Laurie we think alike,
se da luz Echart Tolle I love the book. Yes the importance of presence.
Also Listening, we need to listen not only to others but to ourselves. Sometimes our ego is jumping at the chance and forming conversation to run ahead with without listening to what the other person is saying.
Lee focus my husband is always telling me that. Another thing my husband says is don’t compare. Be happy with what you have.
We are all so different but all so much alike. I think if we kinder to ourselves at times, gave our selves a little bit more respect, treated ourselves as a friend. Some one once told me when I was being too hard on myself to imagine myself as a frightened little girl and hold her in my heart. See her fear and nurture her, send her love and white light and take care of her. Apparently a self healing exercise.

Smile More :)

Being true to yourself.

I cannot resist…THEE most powerful personal development program or activity I have EVER engaged in is (drum roll please)…

public speaking with Toastmasters.

Really! It makes sense. The number one fear most people have is public speaking (greater than the fear of death or taxes!). I have watched dozens of people face and conquer that fear, and the personal growth is greater than anything I’ve seen at workshops (that cost a heck of a lot more BTW) or reading books, or spiritual growth classes, etc. etc. etc.

I would have to put Karaoke at #2 – the only thing scarier than speaking in front of a group is singing, but I put it at number two because you can drink first, and that kills some of the fear (and you get to read the words onscreen).

Anyone second this motion? If you don’t know what Toastmasters is, or want to find a group near you, go to www.toastmaster.org

PS – it’s also the most fun I’ve ever had with some of the best people I’ve ever met : )

Ilana

My personal tip is to live in a state of Positive Expectation. Essentially, I expect good things to happen. If I am on the way to work I expect traffic to be manageable, lights to be green or near green as I approach, the drivers around me to be safe and sane, and of course my favorite parking spot is open.

I don’t bother trying to explain my perception choices to others. When they say “you know that it always goes wrong when . . . “ I say to them “Not for me” and simply continue on. I pretty much expect that I will influence others to be more positive in their outlook without being a “fanatical convert”.

And, on the rare occasions that my expectation doesn’t come to pass I simply remember that some things don’t show up on a timetable. It didn’t fail, it simply hasn’t got here yet.

Hope this helps,
Phil

In response to Phil’s post:

Hello Phil, love your post and your ebook(:

Below is a little youtube video w/motivational quotes from Brian Tracy; someone I’ve enjoyed since the mid 80’s

My number 1 personal development tip is meditation. I think that gives you the biggest “bang for your buck” especially when starting out.

What a great thread!!! I’m gonna come back to this one now and again.
I hadn’t really thought of it before amindwheart, but yes! I can second you. I took a Dale Carnegie course quite a few years ago and it had a profound influence on me. Actually, if any of you have never read any of Dale Carnegies stuff I wholeheartedly recommend it. I also would recommend taking a public speaking course. It is amazingly good for you. Now that I think of it, I used to be active in the local theatre. I played as a musician several time and acted in a few plays. That is really good for you. I played Mr. Mushnik in “Little Shop of Horrors”. It was thrilling. I also had small parts in some other plays including 1776. Back when I had the restaurant we had Karaoke on Wednesday nights. Stuff like that can really bring people out of their shells. Of course, playing live is great for that too.

My number one tip would have to be perserverance, keep at your affirmations, never give up on them, say them you when you feel like saying them, any time of the day or night, do what ever feels right for you, follow your gut!

Everything is working out for you in your highest good.

I think that truly mindfulness would be my most important personal development tip, and while I teach my clients and students to use the Japanese technique of Naiken to do so, I could simplify it here by suggesting:

— At the end of each day, take a few minutes… — At the end of the week, take an hour… — At the end of the month, take a few hours… — At the end of the year take a whole day…

…and ask yourself what you did that day to relieve suffering in others; what you did that day to contribute to suffering in others; what good thing you accomplished for yourself; what single thing can you focus on tomorrow, to make progress toward bettering yourself and the world in which you live.

Life only asks that we make measurable progress in a reasonable length of time. My mentor, Jim Rohn, says that’s why the desks in the Fourth Grade are so small!

Live with passion!

Focusing on one major life goal at a time has been a constant struggle for me but it really helps for better achievement. Every time an idea or invitation arrives I just have to pass it through one question; does this align with my current life goal?

Wow, just read all the posts. It’s wonderful to connect with like minded people and sometimes I wonder why I don’t visit more often. Like John I have kept a “appreciation journal” I had a list of things that I had to find during the day. No matter whether it was a good day or a bad day, I tried to find a positve thing to write about. A smile from a stranger in a shop, someone holding a door open for me, the wind in the trees, a child laughing. I put butterfly stickers and flowers on each page. One day when I am gone maybe my children will read it!!!.
After writing all this I looked at the title of the thread!! My number one personal development tip is to “be in the moment”. It’s not always easy but I have read “The Power of Now, by Eckhardt Tolle at least 5 times and I think I might be finally getting it!!

My number one personal development tip is to leave “gratitude rocks” in key locations – I don’t have very supportive family, friends, or co-workers, all my self improvement endeavors are met with ridicule or negative comments. Several books I have read recommend you leave positive messages around your house and also carry them on your person, I can’t do that so I found leaving small stones, like the kind you pick up on the beach, etc. left where I see them, helps to keep me focused. I have put one in each of my coat pockets, which helps when waiting in lines to keep me from getting stressed, when I feel the texture and shape of the stone I start focusing on the positive. I have one on my night stand, on my coffee table in a planter, in my bathroom, kitchen, in my car, right here in front of me on the desk that holds my computer, in my pocket book, at my desk at work, etc. When I see them I immediately have to name 3 things I am grateful for. It has really helped me stay positive. What I have discovered is how much time I spent not even being aware I was thinking negative, useless thoughts. Now when I see these rocks I am immediately brought back to the present moment. AND the great thing is nobody else seems to notice them so there has been no snide comments.

In response to beelady’s post:

What a great idea! I like that. It would be a perfect idea for my children also. Maybe I need to have one as a reminder today because they are truly grating on my nerves. I know that it is because their older brother is done with spring break and going back to school… but my nerves are shot also. It would be nice to have a gratitude reminder that I have healthy children who are able to drive me nuts!! :)

As a personal trainer, college student, spiritual student (I am sure there is a better word for that), and wannabe life coach I have come up with what I consider to be the healthy median of living.

Body, mind, and soul: All independent but interwoven to make up that which is your life

What is the purpose of each?

Body: Apply and maintain beneficial habits for your lifestyle that promote long term health and self-sufficiency

Mind: Learn from experience, scholarly study, observation, and critical analysis. Learn from mistakes

Soul: Use of meditation, present moment awareness, and body awareness to continually reconnect with life and reality. This offers understanding and peace

Be and feel grateful everyday, and demonstrate your gratitude by being kind and generous to anybody who comes in contact with you. With words, gestures, smiles, foods, nice things. And then see what happens

In response to SATYA’s post:
Love it!

my number one is imagination, and be able to try something I do not see now, and off course classical music and yoga and imagination heals.I believe and I also do EFT.

I neglected to list this thread in my favorites, but it is wonderful. I love the beeladys’ “Gratitude Rocks” idea so much I think I’ll find a way to implement it. Dharmadudes post offers a powerful way of thinking about what you’re doing here.

http://www.radyodinle.us/trt-radyo-3.radyosu

For classic music and jazz music.
It is a Turkish radio.

I got this from an exercise Lynn Grabhorn introduced me to: Mentally hug the least likeable person you see.

Why? Because once you find redemption in people you used to shake your head at, you can find redemption in yourself. You can proceed without worrying anyone else is judging you — not even yourself.

In response to AccidentalNote’s post:
That’s really an excellent idea!!(:

what i’m working on at the moment is not to feed into other people negativailty, a few months ago if i was in a great mood going into work& 1 of de clients is givig out, mooning talking negative i was leaving work like a bull. It took a while but now if that happens i just say to myself “over the head Lisa, it’s not your shi* and i works & i leave work happy :-)

Today I am going to say to become more present and aware that you are not your thoughts. Stepping outside of yourself and taking notice of what your thinking is important.

In response to BeeLady, I love your post about the graditude rocks or love rocks :) I will definately get me some rocks and put them in all of my coate pockets. I need reminders when I stand in line or when I have to waite for anything. I think I will have to get some prosperity rocks as well. Thanks
Smiles

discussion thread from 2009...

if you don't have time to post a thought 

bookmark the thread.

Don't bother explaining yourself your friends don't need it

and others won't believe it.

Minutes, hours, days

Isolate yourself

In nature 

Breathe deeply

Look into your

Heart and soul

All your answers 

Are there

Change

If you

Don’t like

What you see

Trust 

Love and gratitude are the air I breathe, they nurture my being and feed my soul for the beauty of my life for all to experience and behold.

Harm none with your Words

a #1 personal development tip: