★I want to stop defending myself

We all know in the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” where Covey encourages us to Begin With The End In Mind (habit #2).

And some of us have heard an extension of that: “What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?” (ha ha, I like sausage and mushrooms) And the lecturer goes on to suggest approaching life from your eulogy backwards.

Which seems like a good idea. Supposedly, if you write a good enough eulogy for yourself, then you’ll be inspired to identify the steps needed to live up to that life summary, and find a way to execute those steps or become that person (the better you).

But there’s something that bugs me about this. I want to stop defending myself and in some ways a eulogy is an in absentia defense of the departed.

Because really, my life is my business. I don’t need to worry about someone else rendering a verdict.

I’m careful to not try to defend myself or submit myself to the judgement of others.

Thoughts? Anyone else worked through this puzzle?

I think the eulogy IS for you – not for the judgement of others.

I would like to think of it like that, cookieman.

It’s a pretty big jump. Most of my preconceptions about writing my own eulogy are similar to what you’d find on the internet if you Google “write your own eulogy”. The vast majority are an exercise in how others see you. Example

“Writing your eulogy gives you a unique opportunity to think about what people might say about you, about the type of person you were, how you impacted the lives of those around you. This can be a very provocative approach to looking at yourself from someone else’s point of view. “

But you’re right, cookieman. I can make myself the audience. Maybe if I imagine just prior to death, a luxury of contemplation where I can give myself a little eulogy talk. “At least I lived my life …

˚Living My Blessings Upon Blessings  

Posted on 10/05/2013. Last edited on 30/07/2013.

_{very good discussion & excellent topic.}
…also love the idea of writing a eulogy….though…w/ same type of processing in mind…a course I once took had us write a letter to loved ones when we became an old old adult. It was an incredible experience. In fact, I have saved the letter…for a future date to share with them.

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  ♥♫Abevideo♥✿♥ How to Speak Up For Myself I like this video…because it is simply a reminder that we are not here to “defend” oneself.
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I was thinking of posting this under thought for today.
This seems an appropriate place.
People including myself have a habit or a tendency to assume or presume
something about someone else.
For example: someone might see me as carefree,intelligent,ect.
MY REALITY AS I LOOK AT MY LIFE OR DISPOSITION IS KIND OF SORT OF GONNA REQUIRE A MIRACLE FOR ME TO GET THROUGH MY PERCEIVED PROBLEMS,FROM MY
PERSPECTIVE.The emphasis on MY,because I,m talking about me not anyone else,and what I know from the person who has the most knowledge of MYSELF, that is ME…The idea of a mock eulogy sounds interesting also.
I,m much too young to die

When you imagine what is said by others about you in your imagined eulogy – The overall eulogy gives you a clear idea of the values you hold, but also WHO says certain things can give you clues to your own perception of THAT person and how you want to be seen by that person. That would be worthwhile to think about. What you would like to be said about you is a great pointer to your deepest desires and aspirations.

wonderful thread!