I just finished Stephen R. Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”.
It is pretty common for me to take lots of notes and highlight passages when I read books. Here are a few notes I made and some of those selected highlights.
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The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around rolls and goals.
Win/Win solutions require the consideration to understand and the courage to be understood.
Communication skills are among the most important skills in life.
People have a deep need to be understood. Remember that peoples perceptions and paradigms can be vastly different.
You are always saying “yes” to something and “no” to something. Start saying “yes” to the truly important, fundamental things and “no” to the trivial things.
The way you spend your time is a result of the way you see your time and the way you really see your priorities.
Learn to value the power of synergy – Learn how to create and unleash that power.
Trust and Communication are closely related.
It is so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table. We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood by others.
Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life. (From Psalms)
It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success.
Many people with secondary greatness – that is, social recognition for their talents – lack primary greatness or goodness in their character. Sooner or later, you’ll see this in every long-term relationship they have…As Emerson once put it, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.”
In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. We all know it. There are people we trust absolutely because we know their character. Whether they’re eloquent or not, whether they have the human relations techniques or not, we trust them, and we work successfully with them.
In the words of William George Jordan, “Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil – the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of this life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be.”
The Seven Habits embody many of the fundamental principles of human effectiveness. These habits are basic; they are primary. They represent the internalization of correct principles upon which enduring happiness and success are based.
…if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.
…In the words of Thoreau, “For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.” We can only achieve quantum improvements in our lives as we quit hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and behaviors flow.
Use “critical thinking” to evaluate your beliefs.
The power of a paradigm shift is the essential power of quantum change, whether that shift is an instantaneous or a slow and deliberate process.
Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken.
…principles that govern human growth and happiness – natural laws that are woven into the fabric of every civilized society throughout history and comprise the roots of every family and institution that has endured and prospered.
It’s almost as if these principles or natural laws are part of the human condition, part of the human consciousness, part of the human conscience. They seem to exist in all human beings, regardless of social conditioning…(he lists a few here: fairness, honesty, human dignity, service, quality or excellence)
Principles are very deep, fundamental truths that have universal application. They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations.
Principles are not values. Principles are the territory. Values are the map.
Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value. They’re fundamental. They’re essentially unarguable because they are self-evident. One way to quickly grasp the self-evident nature of principles is to simply consider the absurdity of attempting to live an effective life based on their opposites.
The more closely our maps or paradigms are aligned with these principles or natural laws, the more accurate and functional they will be. Correct maps will infinitely impact our personal and interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and behaviors.
In all of life, there are sequential stages of growth and development. A child learns to turn over, to sit up, to crawl, and then to walk and run. Each step is important and each one takes time. No step can be skipped.
We know and ascept this fact or principle oof process in the area of physical things, but to understand it in emotional areas, in human relations, and even in the area of personal character is less common and more difficult. And even if we understand it, to accept it and to live in harmony with it are even less common and more difficult. Consequently, we sometimes look for a shortcut, expecting to be able to skip some of these vital steps in order to save time and effort and still reap the desired result.
The more people are into “quick fix” and focus on the acute problems and pain, the more that very approach contributes to the underlying chronic condition.
“We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time”.
T.S. Eliot
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These are just the notes I scribbled in the book and stuff from the intro. I may add more later to this thread for you guys.
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary
