anoushka
Posted on 02/02/2010. Last edited on 19/11/2015.
With that old saying in mind – “One bad apple can rot the whole barrel”, this thread is dedicated to the times when one bad experience, can create a domino effect to other bad experience IF we choose to focus on it unnecessarily.
This goes for relationships too: One argument with a loved one can multiply if we do nothing but focus on it – yet focusing on all the good that this relationship brings can make this little argument insignificant in the scheme of things.
Similarly (as some of you know) I recently ‘fell out’ with a friend that I have been hopelessly hanging onto for way too long. Focusing on that one bad experience seems pointless when on the flip side I have gained tons more positive friends since this past year of ‘change’ in me. Surely its more healthy to focus on that, and keep manifesting that goodness??
In all situations (large significant ones and even the little day-to-day episodes)
When have you chosen to focus on the good rather than that one bad apple?
When have you focused on the bad apple and watched other apples turn bad around you???
And most importantly -
When have you simply picked up the bad apple and thrown it out of the barrel to protect your other apples going bad??
A full and thankful heart..
Wonderful thread! Looking forward to this one(:
BE YOU
thought for the day:
“Always remember, joy is not incidental to spiritual quest. It is vital.”
~ Nachman of Breslov
aftab
Posted on 02/02/2010.
Definitly. Great metaphor.
The bad apple is the negative thoughts I duel on every …. it used to be everyday, now it’s every few days :-) YAY meeee… and thanks to you bmindfulers
…what a wonderful world….
Godscreation
Posted on 02/02/2010.
In response to anoushka’s post:
For me it’s the feeling that we want to be in harmony with everyone but that is not going to happen in the physical world. You can do it but in your own mind. My mama use to tell me, “Mary be like a duck in the water just let the mean things people say just roll off your back like beads of water.” Easier said then done but it can be done.
Recently one comment I made to a friend of mine about the way this woman I know sings was something he and I both agreed on. Especially because he records our music. He decided to tell her what was said. She decided to confront me in front of one of her friends who I had just met for the first time. I told her, “If I did say that why did he find it necessary to tell you?”
She asked me not to say anything to him. That night I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long while he was happy to see me and welcomed me to his show. She observed that and said something to him privatley in his ear and now he doesn’t talk to me. This happened before she confronted me. She had done a couple of things to me before and I never called her on it.
Well I called my friend and told him what happened I no longer follow negative peoples orders by not telling him. He was kind of stunned because I let him have it he let me have it too and we hung up. (I do have a temper) He emailed me and told me he was wrong. I called a mutual friend of ours to vent and he told me that both our friend and I were wrong and that we had been friends for too long and explained the mistakes we made. He was right so I called back my other friend and apologized too. Now we are all friends again except for the woman who started the confronting.
She constantly preaches about people who gossip and how God will punish them. She loves to talk about how God loves her so much. I had observed it and saw that there was a extremely sneaky, judgemental and manipulating side to her that wasn’t Godly once again just swept it under the rug. This one incident was a long time coming. But my gut had told me to get out before.
We take care of ourselves by knowing someone for some time before we let them get close. Maybe you feel the same as I do. Why couldn’t I get along with this person? Once you realize the negativity they brought into your life then you can let it go by writing it out write all you feel. If you are anything like me you keep looking at the good things and not the other stuff that hurt you.
You are far to valuable of a person who is honest and loving. A friend even if they are angry will talk to you with love so you can give each other a chance to say how you feel and yet keep being friends anyway!! You deserve the best!
Love Mary
anoushka
Posted on 03/02/2010.
In response to Godscreation’s post:
So true Mary. Totally on your wave length here and you described it beautifully. I think I will write down the past negativities of this person – not least to justify me letting her go, but for proper closure and recognition of my quest to better my life by protecting my barrel of good apples from the bad ones. I will also keep trying to look at the good stuff – like the wonderful friends I have gained here, the wisdom I have acquired and my ability to know whats right for me. Theres so much more….so why dwell on the one negative (which subconsiously – like the 80/20 rule will manifest if I dont throw it out of my mind.)
In response to aftab’s post: Yayyyy!!!You. Keep tossing out those bad apples sweetie!! :)
A full and thankful heart..
Godscreation
Posted on 03/02/2010.
In response to aftab’s post:
I second that aftab keep it up!
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