★- -Resiliency (a Happiness thread mtg)

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  to go directly to Poppy’s intro
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  thread created Mar.23, 2016
  and remains open (always)

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Why Resiliency?

I am planning on visiting my grandchildren out of state this week and my final preparations have not gone very smoothly. The zipper on my trusty suitcase, has proven to be untrustworthy. Don’t you hate it when that happens? I will be flying out and noticed my cars inspection sticker expired in January so on Saturday I gave up my lunch to get it inspected. My work allows a full hour for lunch and I thought it would work very well for me and it did—-almost. I keep my car well maintained and it passed inspection easily. It was chilly that day and as I was driving away, I pulled up on the bottom to roll up my window and all I heard was a terrible crunching sound and the window remained down. Somehow, the window had broken. And now I am carless while my vehicle is being operated on at the car hospital. Never mind, I have to get to work Monday and Tuesday and drive to the airport on Thursday. I think you are beginning to understand why I chose to examine the topic of resiliency this week. I have tried to remain calm and be very flexible rather than very angry. Any tips on staying resilient will be appreciated, especially if I miss my flight.

Tough Times

Hurricane thoughts
Whirl round.
Spinning events.
Life pace accelerating,
Spiraling out of control.
Setbacks coming
In rapid fire fashion.

Overwhelm causing shutdown.
Cascading down ,
Falling and falling,
Hitting rock bottom.
Depression!

Fighting, struggling along.

Sliver of light
Shines infinitesimal small hope.
Effortful breathing
Awakens creativity
Problem solving begins

Laboriously fragile wings flap
Taking flight easing gloom.
A day to remember
The plight of self.
Many roads lead
To success ahead.
Never give up!

Boomerang bounciness,
Stretchability, stretchiness,
Changeability changeableness
Defeating depression
Denying discouragement
Rapidly recovering

Pushing through problems.
Thinking to rethink
Negative thinking.
Gratitude, self-love
Courage and Compassion
You are enough.

You’ve got this!

Viola!

Resilience

Beyond the support and questions I have asked our friends at Bmindful to assist me with,here are our focus questions for the week:

1. What does resilience mean to you and for you in your everyday life?
2. Tell about a big obstacle you’ve overcome and how it has benefited you in the end.
3. How do you regularly renew your positive energy so you have an abundant reserve when obstacles hit?
4. What are some of your power-robbers and what are some of your thoughts about insuring yourself for the type of life you see yourself enjoying?

will return… looking forward to it. (creating mtgs -sometimes cuts into energy to respond … though always opens a door to answers)

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  will focus on 1 & 3 first soon

1. What does resilience mean to you and for you in your everyday life?
3. How do you regularly renew your positive energy so you have an abundant reserve when obstacles hit?

then 2& 4

2. Tell about a big obstacle you’ve overcome and how it has benefited you in the end.

4. What are some of your power-robbers and what are some of your thoughts about insuring yourself for the type of life you see yourself enjoying?

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• Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
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www.centreforconfidence.co.uk
⇒ Positive resilience theory rejects the idea that risk is something to be avoided. Instead, it focuses on those factors that promote well-being in individuals faced with adversity. Rather than take a defensive stance against risk, resilience theory takes the view that life, with all of its ups and downs, is there to embraced and that coping with risk and bouncing back from adversity are positively good for us. _{Copyright: Centre for Confidence and Well-Being}

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    ⇒ Flourishing Lives
    Studies have shown that the thoughts we have about ourselves cause us to experience certain feelings. to read more

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  ⇒ 3 Ways to harness a more resilient you

You and Your Energy: Key Points
• Our mental and emotional diets determine our energy levels, health and well-being much more than most people realize.
• Look at life as an energy economy game.
• Each day, ask, “Are my energy expenditures – actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings – productive or nonproductive?
• During the course of my day, have I accumulated more stress or more peace?
• Keeping an asset/deficit balance sheet even for a few days will give you an extremely clear picture of where and how you’re adding to your energy account and where and how you’re overdrawing it.
• When we consciously evoke core heart feelings, we nourish our bodies at every level. Like quantum nutrients, core heart feelings keep our cells regenerating.

_{Adapted from the Asset/Deficit Balance Sheet available in various HeartMath materials, including the book The HeartMath Solution, by Doc Childre and Howard Martin, with Donna Beech.} great foundation-info for self-care

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  solutions-for-stress/increasing-energy/ HeartMath
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  happiness-out-of-adversity
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⇒ you may like to watch

⇒ you may like to see- website J.R. Martinez

Cpl. J.R. Martinez, U.S. Army (Ret.) J.R. Martinez was born in Shreveport, LA on June 14, 1983. He enlisted in the United States Army in September 2002 and underwent Basic and Advanced Training at Fort Benning, Georgia where he gained skills as an 11-B Infantryman. After reporting to Fort Campbell in January of 2003, he was assigned to his unit 2/502 Delta Company. He was deployed to Iraq in February of that same year. In April 2003, J.R. was serving as a driver of a Humvee when his left front tire hit a landmine and he suffered severe burns to more than 40% of his body as well as smoke inhalation. He was then evacuated to Landstuhl, Germany for immediate care and then eventually Martinez arrived at Brooke Army Medical Center (BAMC) in San Antonio, TX to begin his road to recovery. He spent 34 months at BAMC, undergoing 32 different surgeries, including skin grafts and cosmetic surgery. After his recovery, he joined the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes as a National Spokesperson in 2004. He has since worked with CSAH to promote their financial assistance and support programs to other wounded service members and inspire the lives of others through his amazing story of resilience, perseverance and optimism. While J.R.‘s experience is certainly life-changing, amazingly JR claims this is actually a change for the better. He’s discovered it’s what’s inside a person that matters most and devotes himself to showing others the true value in making the most of every situation –

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  ╰☆╮¤°.¸¸.·´¯`» Bounce Back With Grace
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Quotes (perspective)
When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want? Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now? _{Max Lucado}

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  _{Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. ~Louise Hay}
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  _{What’s in you is stronger than what’s in your way. ~Anonymous}
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Inspiring Lives

Thank you SRWE! This thread offers excellent accounts of inspiring lives.

Somewhere over the rainbow

In response to Lake Placid’s post:

This really is funny. Well worth the few minutes it takes to listen.

In response to Peace,Focus&Smiles’s post:
In response to Poppy’s post:

Thank you for the beautiful topic for our meeting!

Your topic and the questions that you have posted for us are very powerful.

I am still “on fire” from last weeks Happiness meeting. It made such a wonderful and a liberating difference for me, that I was powerfully brought into a place of self creation, and from that space, I was able to restore areas of depletion. And, that restoration gave me perspective. With perspective, I can and I do appreciate the value that this work is providing.

That said, I have returned to my Self a higher level of raising my own bar. For me, that means loving my Self and giving to my Self, and respecting my needs more.

Question #2: Tell about a big obstacle and how you overcame it and how you benefited from it in the end:

Excellent question!

In my response above, I mentioned “restoring areas of depletion”.

One of the greatest personal obstacles for me has been both my marriage and the divorce.
It truly took an act of pure will to heal, reclaim and repurpose my life. Its difficult to wrap up and express how I was so impacted… however, I have made peace on many levels.

The ultimate benefit was in the LEARNING. And, in accepting. I recognize that as I have aged, and as time has passed, that the lessons continue, and the one that I am encountering is my Self. One of my most favorite things to listen to, and learn more about is the power of bonding. I truly love listening to stories that others share about their experience about bonding with their significant others. Its truly fascinating because its about the very origins of Love, in its earliest, most formative and most fragile level. So fragile, but so powerful that it will last a life time.

Another obstacle that I had a hard time learning was “releasing”.

I’m not sure why it was so hard to learn. As other people have mentioned, there is a gap b/t letting go of one context, or phase, and taking on a new direction.

I think that it takes both maturity and consciousness, and it also requires self exploration, and self awareness before one can have the life skills to consciously “let go”.

Happiness is always an inside job…

Keys to BEING an overcomer:

1. Being open, being coachable. Having conversations geared towards addressing what its going to take for me to get my Self unstuck. Repurpose my priorities. Reclaim my identity.
2, Being willing to STOP making others wrong.
3. Being responsible for my personal pain, and being totally willing to not blame others. And, when the blame game starts to raise its Medusa head, recognize that somewhere, MY integrity is out, and immediately restore my integrity with my Self.
4. Deepen my understanding of self, and of others. Recognize God in others and respect that their path is sacred.
5. The path of harmlessness is the path to truth and liberation.

In response to Kathi’s post:
Thank you for your openness and honesty. It takes real courage to admit to a failed marriage. I am a member of that infamous club as well. My divorce happened many years ago and I still have many visible scars. I am certainly not one to give advise but to merely tell my story. I married at age 24 and I thought I had matured enough to recognize true love. I fell head over heels and knew my ex wife only a year and a half before I knew she was the one. During our first few years we were happy. We had met during our junior year of college and had both majored in psychology. Upon graduation, I moved us to Arizona for graduate school. We both started our advanced degrees but I had to work full time to help with finances. She went full time and graduated quickly. It took me quite a bit longer. Once I had graduated, we both wanted to move back home to Texas. And we did. I started working full time and she wanted to get her doctorate degree. By that time, we had expanded our family to include two little boys. She was very busy with her research and school and I was busy with my job and caring for the boys. It was a hard time for both of us. Then came our third child. A little girl joined our family. The stress of school, careers and family tore us apart. I never saw it coming. One night while we were lying in bed she said she no longer loved me and wanted a divorce. My life was shattered that night and in many ways I slowly died over the course of the next year while the divorce was being finalized.

Gradually I realized I wouldn’t die of a broken heart and I started becoming the person I am today. I lived through my depression and guilt and started rebuilding my self esteem. I started taking time out for me. I would do things I enjoyed. I would tell myself I was getting better and better every day. I didn’t realize it then, but I was using positive affirmations. I remember writing short statements that I thought would make me feel better. I read them over every day. Sometimes I would read them several times a day. And I was getting better. My work had become routine, I could spend as much time focusing on it as I wanted and I was able to see my children often. This went on for several years. I had resolved myself to the fact that I was single and had no desire to risk getting involved with anyone again and certainly not marriage. By this time I had recorded my sayings(affirmations) and would listed to them every night falling asleep.

It must have worked. Love snuck up on me again. This time I was extremely cautious. I decided to get to know her much better before I leaped off the marriage cliff again. That was thirty five years ago and we are still together. We do not have a certificate, but are inseparable. We have weathered sickness and health, and there is no doubt we will only be separated by death.

I found Bmindful quite a few years ago and many of my affirmations are the ones I wrote long ago.

Kathi, I believe you are correct in believing in love and bonding with yourself. I’m not sure you can truly love others unless you love yourself.

In response to Poppy’s post:
In response to Kathi’s post:
I was wondering after benefiting from some of the posting for this meeting…how I’d add the momentum I was desiring to respond from my heart to this weeks thoughts/questions/prompts …. and after reading Kathi’s and Poppy’s answers I am feeling-it(:

Thank you both for your continued openness during these thread meetings. I too was as Kathi put it ‘on fire’ since the meeting on vulnerability. Wow! I still can feel my cut-off points (or as some refer to it boundaries) in what I will share on an internet forum…though something definitely has shifted in every interaction I seem to have. I thank everyone who shares whatever they share…because it adds to a safe-ness…and an ok-ability. See, I even have a new vocabulary …from my newness experiences(:

Anyway, thank you! That is the most important thing I can say! Maybe during a related meeting I can be more explicit with some of the experiences that were the direct result of the last mtg… I will say ..these meetings are truly progressive…and one seems to open the door for the next.

will return…

In response to Poppy’s post:
Again, I thank you for sharing so beautifully & openly!! I love how you said, We have weathered sickness and health, and there is no doubt we will only be separated by death.

I believe what you’re referring to… is another example of resilience.

If you’ve lived for a bit…and with someone you deeply care with & for… experiencing big things with your own health and/or theirs… can give quite an education in the area of (love & )resilience.

I loved hearing your story & looking forward to continuing thoughts…

to be continued…

time for sleep(:

Resilience Intro Update: Today I leave to be with my grandchildren for 11 glorious days. My car was fixed to the tune of over $400.00. The inspection place reimbursed me completely. I was not up late packing and I have my boarding pass printed and in hand. When we face both small and large obstacles in life there are always lessons to learn. I have found after much trial and error that the quickest and most direct route through difficulties to to face them head on with a dogged determination to work through them rather than to try to delay or skirt around them. Love changes everything. I did not go quietly to sleep last night. I was moved and excited about the late discussion on this thread. I logged off and tried to go to sleep, but couldn’t. This is what I had to write.

I am an open book
A book radiating
Love and happiness

Turn my pages
And you will find
Burning love
Oozing into your heart

For we are one
With All That Is

Each new chapter
One you’ve lived
One you’ve died for

No boundaries exist
When love flows out

Your love is invincible
Let it flow

It can not hurt
It can not pain

The more you give
The more you gain.

I am an open book
A book radiating
Love and happiness!

Thanks for an awesome meeting & here’s to a restful fun time with your grandchildren(:

btw once again your poetry rocks!

What wonderful sharing! How awesome it is to get to have these happiness meetings, and such confidence. We have all grown, and we continue to grow, vicariously through the sharing. Its wonderful and its cathartic.

I will come back tomorrow, and will write more when my mind and thoughts are refreshed!

Poppy, thank you for your lovely poetry!! Its beautiful!!

Thank you for all that you have shared!

And, thank you for growing with this process!!

In response to RJB's post:

great 1!

resiliency