What's in a number (age)? Lots...maybe.

I do believe in the adage, you’re as young as you feel. Though, do any of you either work/live in atmospheres that those around you are quite a bit younger, and cannot see how your life stage is simply different from theirs?

Being a private person (out in the work-world), who does not like to focus on whether I agree or disagree with what is being said (especially at work), I find there to be no good way to communicate with boundaries when others are not grasping that my experience might be different from theirs. This is especially true when there is a 1/4 century between us.

Any ideas from those who’ve been there or from those who work with people a bit older that could assist (and be kind and loving as well)?

I work in a young environment. My coworkers are all 10-20 years younger than me, few that are even younger than that (I thought employees are getting younger, but apparently I am getting older in age).
We pretty much get along well and are pretty much in agreement. All parties accept and respect the other ones life stage and life style.

I think age is certainly a state of mind that, together with your personal values, attributes (both learned and naturally acquired) and general life experiences make up a wisdom that depicts your years. I work with people much older than me (well apart from the odd couple).
This however does not mean they are particularly more learned, experienced or knowledgable – in most cases it does, but actually in this case it doesnt.
There are a few people that are over ten years older than me that are not as well read as you’d expect for their years, particularly in art, literature, philosphy but are very knowledgable and experienced in their field which is of a more scientific and factual nature. I agree with Laurie in this case that in the work environment I tend to keep myself to myself as I feel my experiences and knowledge would not be well recieved in this environment.
I guess what I am trying to say is that age, the number, is not a direct reflection of wisdom and emotional intelligence. However, I certainly agree that age in years makes for more valuable opportunites to acquire wisdom – but some people dont always take advantage of them…….

What a wonderful article Lee wrote

Somehow, I feel this article connects with something I need to hear. I am going to reread it again. Join me in that, if you will.

I think this is a values-issue. I will take more time with this. Still looking for input…

I can picture myself at thirty still having a mind of a six year old but experienced and completly mature. Reasoning with your co-workers about what you’ve experienced is the best way to persuade them about your own output.

Um, hi Laurie!

Just thought i’d mention is your post is blank

[edit] Reasoning methods and argumentation
One approach to the study of reasoning is to identify various forms of reasoning that may be used to support or justify conclusions. The main division between forms of reasoning that is made in philosophy is between deductive reasoning and inductive reasoning. Formal logic has been described as ‘the science of deduction’.¹⁴ The study of inductive reasoning is generally carried out within the field known as informal logic or critical thinking.

[edit] Deductive reasoning
Main article: Deductive reasoning
Reasoning in an argument is valid if the argument’s conclusion must be true when the premises (the reasons given to support that conclusion) are true. One classic example of deductive reasoning is that found in syllogisms like the following:

Premise 1: All humans are mortal.
Premise 2: Socrates is a human.
Conclusion: Socrates is mortal.
The reasoning in this argument is valid, because there is no way in which the premises, 1 and 2, could be true and the conclusion, 3, be false.

Validity is a property of the reasoning in the argument, not a property of the premises in the argument or the argument as a whole. In fact, the truth or falsity of the premises and the conclusion is irrelevant to the validity of the reasoning in the argument. The following argument, with a false premise and a false conclusion, is also valid, (it has the form of reasoning known as modus ponens).

Premise 1: If green is a color, then grass poisons cows.
Premise 2: Green is a color.
Conclusion: Grass poisons cows.
Again, if the premises in this argument were true, the reasoning is such that the conclusion would also have to be true.

In a deductive argument with valid reasoning the conclusion contains no more information than is contained in the premises. Therefore, deductive reasoning does not increase one’s knowledge base, and so is said to be non-ampliative.

Within the field of formal logic, a variety of different forms of deductive reasoning have been developed. These involve abstract reasoning using symbols, logical operators and a set of rules that specify what processes may be followed to arrive at a conclusion. These forms of reasoning include Aristotelian logic, also known as syllogistic logic, propositional logic, predicate logic, and modal logic.

[edit] Inductive reasoning
Main article: Inductive reasoning
Induction is a form of inference producing propositions about unobserved objects or types, either specifically or generally, based on previous observation. It is used to ascribe properties or relations to objects or types based on previous observations or experiences, or to formulate general statements or laws based on limited observations of recurring phenomenal patterns.

Inductive reasoning contrasts strongly with deductive reasoning in that, even in the best, or strongest, cases of inductive reasoning, the truth of the premises does not guarantee the truth of the conclusion. Instead, the conclusion of an inductive argument follows with some degree of probability. Relatedly, the conclusion of an inductive argument contains more information than is already contained in the premises. Thus, this method of reasoning is ampliative.

A classic example of inductive reasoning comes from the empiricist David Hume:

Premise: The sun has risen in the east every morning up until now.
Conclusion: The sun will also rise in the east tomorrow.

[edit] Abductive reasoning
Main article: abductive reasoning
Abductive reasoning, or argument to the best explanation, is a form of inductive reasoning, since the conclusion in an abductive argument does not follow with certainty from its premises and concerns something unobserved. What distinguishes abduction from the other forms of reasoning is an attempt to favor one conclusion above others, by attempting to falsify alternative explanations or by demonstrating the likelihood of the favored conclusion, given a set of more or less disputable assumptions. For example, when a patient displays certain symptoms, there might be various possible causes, but one of these is preferred above others as being more probable.

[edit] Fallacious reasoning
Main article: Logical fallacy
Flawed reasoning in arguments is known as fallacious reasoning. Reasoning within arguments can be bad because it commits either a formal fallacy or an informal fallacy.

[edit] Formal fallacies
Main article: Formal fallacy
Formal fallacies occur when there is a problem with the form, or structure, of the argument. The word ‘formal’ refers to this link to the form of the argument. An argument that contains a formal fallacy will always be invalid. Consider, for example, the following argument:

If a drink is made with boiling water, it will be hot.
This drink was not made with boiling water.
This drink is not hot.
The reasoning in this argument is bad, because the antecedent (first part) of the conditional (the ‘if…, then…’ statement) can be false without the consequent (second half) of the conditional being true. In this example, the drink could have been made with boiling milk, or heated in the microwave, and so be hot in spite of the truth of statement 2. This particular formal fallacy is known as denying the antecedent.

[edit] Informal fallacies
Main article: Informal fallacy
An informal fallacy is an error in reasoning that occurs due to a problem with the content, rather than mere structure, of the argument. Reasoning that commits an informal fallacy often occurs in an argument that is invalid, that is, contains a formal fallacy. One example of such reasoning is a red herring argument.

An argument can be valid, that is, contain no formal reasoning fallacies, and yet still contain an informal fallacy. The clearest examples of this occur when an argument contains circular reasoning, also known as begging the question.

In response to bbirishbug’s post:
Reread it now. I was in an editing mode. so it was blank for the moment you were viewing it.

I think what you are explaining of your co-workers is less of an age difference issue, rather personal behavior differences.
The fact that the co-workers are disrespectful is maybe they are stressed – something they still need to realize and work on for themselves. I know 70 year olds that are less respectfull than 20 year olds.

In my early 20s, there was a time when I did not realize that I am being unpleasant until one day my father very lovingly pointed this out to me and asked me if I am having issues or problems, which makes me behave this way and be hurtful to others.
That talk gave me alot to think about and work on ever since. The main point was how he approached me to tell me that, filled with love.

We all have learned here that the more we love ourselves, the more we can love others. The more we respect ourselves, the more we can respect others. Maybe that is what your co-workers are lacking.

I think just by being your loving self to the elderly, it will make up for the disrespectfulness of the co-worker.

In response to aftab’s post:
Thanks afi! That was quite supportive, and helpful.

That’s excellent reasoning Afi! Going along with what Afi said.. You can always address to your co-worker’s concerns about the goals of the workplace. Not using the phrase “When I was your age” but rather try to relate with how they are feeling. That always works!

In response to bbirishbug’s post:
That is what I currently do. I was just looking for an “easier” route. (:

Most of the time I come from a place that says, it’s work, and we’re all doing our job.

I like to make the places I spend my time better. And I think I am doing the best I’m able to do there.

These days, with jobs the best thing you can do is be grateful for your job, be grateful you are doing it well, and be grateful for all else that you can.

People who know me, know I’m consistent w/my efforts, and what you see is really who I am. I’m not ashamed of it, nor do I want others to be a carbon copy of me.

I’m better now. Afi, said (basically), keep being myself. And I will (:

That’s right Laurie, you just have to stick to your guns. As long as your targeted to your real goals.

This was a topic, I never wanted to chat about. My fresh eyes affirmations were getting me through my days… And then I thought, hmm this is something I think about, and deal with…wonder what bmindful has to say.

How supportive you all are. When you all said, what I pretty much knew (be myself and keep on doing what I do), it just seemed to sound better.

Thanks.

Age is a mental construct, Baby! We’re all the exact same age! We are all NOW!

In response to themadcookieman’s post:
I believe that on this site. Though, gotta tell you, I may be less evolved than you, but some places it doesn’t feel like that.

Though, as I was reminded today, it isn’t all about age at all. Hopin’ there are good reasons. Better than that hopin for better answers. Acceptance and focusing on doing my best is what it’s all about for me. I can’t change others. Some days are really ‘great’. Believin more of them are comin and gettin better all of the time.

Maybe, I’m just workin’ too hard

Maybe I want everything

In response to laurie- does first things first~‘s post:

Hi Laurie!

I worked for a college and I am almost 60 years old so you can imagine what a youthful crowd I was around. They would exclude me from going to lunch with them they weren’t rude to me. That was just their click. Because really they didn’t speak about subjects that made me want to ponder on them. It just reminded me of the old addage, “youth is wasted on the young.” Mostly when they would talk they would talk about the bars they went to and who they slept with. Or how much Coach purses costs.

When they would hear me talk many times they would all sit around and listen to me. They would say, “how come you know so much about so many subjects?” Age I would answer one day you’ll be in the same spot I am in. From the moment you’re born you start to age.” This is the natural part of life. One girl said, “I don’t want to be old!” I said, “that’s exactly how I felt and look at me today!” They all laughed until I did the moonwalk!!
Really I know how to do it. It blew their minds!!

Most of my friends are getting plastic surgery to look young and some of them look great. I refuse to do such a thing so here I am campaigning for Dennis Kucinich at 4:53. If people are caring they will like you whether your young or old. It’s ok with me if they don’t want to be around me. Age is inevitable!

Me at 4:53

Peace,
Mary

In response to godscreation’s post:
And I always imagined you mid 30 :-)
Was that you with the red cap? ……….. you look mid 30 :-D
Age realy is a number. It’s the experience that makes you wiser and the spirit that keeps you young.

In response to godscreation’s post:
Thanks so much for sharing all that you did. That doo da parade was something an older adult used to share w/me that he was in many moons ago. He was 90 when he was sharing the story. That was one of his fondest memories.

I once worked for a college univ., where I was an advisor to older student activities and support services, but I was only in my early 30’s back then. My youngest student was 25. My oldest student was in her 80’s. It was a great organization->quite a diverse group, and if over traditional age was over 25, that was more than 1/2 of the school. Great opportunity!
—
I don’t have the likable problem, as much as the relate-able issue. I am respected (in enough ways that count) Yeah, it’s the bar scene talk, and how drunk they got and the lesser responsibilities..and the world is on their shoulders.

Having been married for almost 30 years, when I share about the “guys I dated” (to relate to a story of theirs), songs I love, traveling a bit, I’m going back over 30 years ago;which is older than some that I work with.

Though, to be honest I feel better after airing it out for the 1st time here. I definitely look much younger than I am. Being petite and healthy, I often get pegged for someone much much younger. My spirit and energy level is often larger than life. And I respect and value where I’m at.

While I’m at work, I know from regular feedback, and what I know about service that I’m giving worthwhile info and trouble shoot issues well.I make long lasting relationships with the clientèle. So, I just have to remember, when I was their age I probably thought being 1/2 century old, was ancient too.

I guess I just miss a little banter (a word I probably never used at their age(: ), with other baby boomers, or place like bmindful where age is just a number.

My “co-worker” is my husband and we are the exact same age (confession: I am a couple months older). We hand pick our employees for their abilities BUT their personality / flexibility traits are way more important. We can teach them what to do, but we can’t teach them what they are. Whenever I read threads like this one, I thank God every day that I am no longer in the corporate working world. This kind of stuff used to drive me crazy – literally!! Xanax was my best friend!! I never found a good way to deal with it – other than leaving that world behind. I wouldn’t say that is a good answer for everyone. If you find something that works, POWER TO YOU!!

A bunch of great quotes and thoughts on aging

In response to themadcookieman’s post:

Thanks MCM! Here’s one from the big list!
Maturity is the ability to think, speak and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become in the middle of frustrations. [Source unknown]

Kinda fitting from what I recently experienced.

n response to meditatingmama’s post:
Hey MM,
First off let me say->I’m so glad you went on to better things I so mean that. You have really done some truly successful things! I am so proud of your accomplishments!

In reference to my recent posts->- today, literally today, I’m ok, and it’s ok to represent Now with who I am, and who I’ve become. Somehow, something has changed in me in a powerfully good way. I thank all of you on the site for being exactly who you are, and who you’ve been to me.

Ya know MM I had a really good day at work today

I was starting to believe difficult days were serving a purpose->keeping me motivated to move forward elsewhere. Though, it doesn’t have to be difficult, and I can still want more, and get it. Things are better..

In response to laurie- does first things first~‘s post:

It’s good you take care of yourself and what is so wonderful is that you could be honest here. This is one of the most important issues we as beings should be allowed to be. Sometimes there are other issues that hurt so bad that we are afraid to mention them because someone may hurt our feelings. This is where this path of least resistance came in at such a wonderful time. It’s ok whatever anyone wants to say or not want to say is ok. The constant trying to defend my emotions is coming to an end. It is sure freeing.

Peace,
Mary

In response to aftab’s post:

Hi Aftab no I am the one at the time of 4:53 with the glasses on. Most of my friends are getting plastic surgery and botox and all kinds of stuff that who knows how it will affect them in the future. Lot’s of them look great. When I was 50 I looked 30 because I watched what I age and did weight lifting. Then the Brain Aneurysm surgery happened and it sure did age me. I know no matter what if you eat well and exercise you can still be youthful looking.

Peace to all,
Mary

In response to godscreation’s post:
Yes Mary, it was truly freeing to express the discomfort I felt w/certain others at work. Since my sharing, it has felt as a new territory of a closed off part of me has opened a precious door->more love toward myself and others. I truly didn’t feel I had issues there.

I think you have a real point of this path of least resistance. But around about way I had to go-> to get there. (:

In response to laurie- does first things first~‘s post:

YAY Laurie, I am happy you had a good day at work. Life is too short to work with stinky people!!!!

In response to godscreation’s post:
I never had heard of “youth is wasted on the young”…like that(:

You know, I don’t ever feel an “age”. I just “am”. I feel as young as I did at 30 or less. It is like time has stood still and only events have passed before me. Of course, I have watched my children grow up. I have watched my husbands hair turn from coal black to salt and pepper (mostly salt, teehee), but I don’t see the changes in myself.

That is not to say I haven’t aged, because I have… I just don’t “see” it because I’m not focusing on it. Yes, I now pay to have brown hair. Yes, I do have some lines on my face that I never had before. But, I don’t “feel” older. I still see myself as a young adult. I prefer to live in my Pollyanna world regardless of what other people see on my outside!!

Midlife is the old age of youth and the youth of old age. Proverb

Laurie, I’m going to be one of “those women” who dresses a little strange for what is considered ‘normal’. I will speak my philosophies of life, offer lots of love, and go about my life as I think resonates with me…regardless of how “weird” it may look.

O M Goodness… I’m already living that now… Ewwww…. I am THAT lady!! When did that happen??? :) teeheehee…

Life is too short… It’s okay to be happy with who we are…. regardless of what “they” think…