★Make Yourself A Top Priority

I was up late last night working on a project, and had told myself in advance, I’d be taking regular breaks~ I need sleep, ya know(:

I went to catch a little rest, the tv was on in the background and very late talk shows were on. A funny one I like was on 1st-Craig Ferguson, and then Oprah was replaying itself from some earlier viewing in the day.

Moments before I decided to catch a little rest, I had a discussion w/my hubby, about how I wanted to begin doing things differently, and then Oprah was on minutes later telling her story, about herself ->how a women w/all her fame and fortune still couldn’t get it right with her weight issues.

While weight is not something I battle with, her admission during this unusual episode (an entire monologue-type show w/her expressing her ‘short comings’) something seemed to resonate with the conversation I just had w/my hubby, about needing to focus more on myself (with the discipline, concern and love that is so necessary to achieve anything worthwhile).

Oprah’s story, made me think, this woman who “has everything’, and says she has ‘nothing’ without making herself a priority. She explained she didn’t have food issues, she had love issues. She was distributing her energies everywhere, and barely taking care of herself well.

At this time in my life, it would’ve taken a lot to make me feel on any level this was true for me. Oprah spending an entire show on it, made me see, it wasn’t enough to just put me on my to-do list, but to truly make myself a top priority.

I felt I was doing this, because so many of the things I’m working on are for me, and or my little family (of hubby and self).

Though to do for yourself, it requires thought and heart as though it was a separate business. You cannot scantily design your life, or only give yourself only a few minutes a day. A business would fail with that kind of attention.

Do you need to put yourself and your areas of living higher on your priority list? Do you need to reassess how you do or don’t spend time on yourself? If so, when and what are you going to different?

Wow Laurie – Yet another great thread! Was waiting for you to wake up!!!

Yes, I do truly believe in putting myself top priority and make an effort to do so whenever possible. But my past paints a very different story as I didnt know how to put myself first in anything. I continuously put others before my own hapiness, only to then find myself getting resentful – how pathetic! I would care least about myself, because I had very little self love and respect. This is a journey I have been working on for the past year and have discovered the art of loving oneself and truly wanting the best for myself – total respect to myself, as within me are the seeds planted by my creator. I’ve said it before, so forgive me if you have heard it, but by putting oneself down, you are criticising God’s handiwork – now who am I to go around playing creator of the universe

Anyway, I cant honestly say that this new found self love has manifested without daily effort. It is a daily mantra that I love and approve of myself as I am.

But, you know there are moments when I forget, just because I’m human. Like, for example, one evening I was so lovingly preparing a meal for my family, so excitedly nurturing the ingredients I had bought and creating….that I had forgotten to cook a portion for myself!!! So that was kinda dumb. But the point is, I was so much in the giving mood that I was thinking of myself….but how it would make me feel to give this food. ‘Cause we all know that giving feels great right? I just wasnt prioritising my nutritional needs….perhaps an issue I have – I enjoy feeding people!!! LOL!

Tonight I am going to spend some quality time to myself. I was asked to have dinner mith my mum, but I have been very tired of late and a little in need of some TLC – And, she understood. I just need to take a long hot shower, snuggle up with a good book and a nice cup of tea. I enjoy listening to my body – you only get one! – so as long as you are kind enough to about declining invitations everyonce in a while, I believe you can enjoy taking care of yourself!
People pleasing all the time is something I used to do and was quite damaging to my personal well-being. I built up unnecessary resentments.

Look after yourself first and the rest is easy…. ;o)

In response to anoushka_f’s post: I applaud you for the lessons you’ve learned and are learning. My best to you with your balanced focus of moving forward

A GREAT ONE AGAIN LAURIE!
This thread is truly a mirror for many of us. How many of us plan the day around ourselves? Ourselves as in our personal likes and dislikes and not official or family commitments. Its time to wake up and give 5% of the day to yourself-JUST YOURSELF.
In my married household we have dinner at as late as 10 in the night bcoz that is the time my hubby comes back home from work. I was doing it for 14 yrs and had terrible stomach upsets, gas, indigestion and all that. And then the food diary happened in my life 3 yrs ago. I realised that if I can finish my dinner by 8 in the evening I feel great in the night and the following day. I shared with my family about this personal need of mine and told them that everyevening I am going to eat at 8, if they feel they can make it its ok otherwise they will be served dinner at their convenient time. My husband fully agreed with me and respected my decision. Now I am a happy person with a stomach that is happy too!
Respecting myself agve me lot of confidence and courage that I have a right to take these little decisions for the sake of my happiness.

In response to SONIA’s post:
I love how you positively asserted yourself in your household.

I once knew an old wise orthodox Rabbi, that taught all people from all religious backgrounds. He was one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever known! He used to share that a mother should always eat before her children, so she’d have the ability and energy to better serve her family (with wisdom, heart and physical ability).

This is very important for mothers – who can be very bad at putting themselves first. I learnt the hard way when my first child was a baby and I got very sick and tired and it’s a miracle I didn’t throw her out the window.

If you are the main or co-carer in your household then it is imperative you look after yourself first, you are no good to your children if you are sick or resentful. They probably won’t even notice, and will think it normal, and hopefully absorb those ‘self-love actions’ to their own life when they grow up.

Be good to you – you deserve it – and the rest will begin to follow.

I could not log into bmindful yesterday!!! Did anyone have the same problem?
I hope I wasnt temporarily banned from visiting the site by my boss!!
No, seriously, this had huge consequences in my day and I have decided to share this on this thread because I realised that in order to put my day into perspective and focus, I need to put myself priority. I need to be kind to my mind and allow it to function in a positive way. The way I do that is:

1.) I read my affirmations

2.)I usually take a quick read of the ‘fresh eyes’ thread. I recap on regular inspiration I have seen here and sometimes add more specific affirmations if necessary.

3.) I check my emails/personal messages that make me smle and give me a boost of ‘feel good’ energy.

4.) I respond and give encouragement to my friends and newcomers on the site.

5.) I read the recent threads and see if I can contribute in a helpful way or indeed recieve answers from what I see and read.

You see, yesterday I was ridden with negativity, resentment and the wrong attitude to my day and everything became a chore. Everything became hard work instead of a pleasure as it usually is. – or has been since I found this site. My attitude for gratitude was low and I was in a very unspiritual mood -or as I say, ‘spiritually unwell!’
My frustrations for not getting on the site (coupled with the fact that I recently ‘gained freedom of nicotine’) put my intentions and priorities anywhere but on myself and my wellbeing.

I MISSED THIS SITE SO MUCH YESTERDAY!!!! SO GLAD I AM BACK!!

(But incase I really was banned for being on the site in work hours – I will have to be careful! – perhaps my work ‘badittude’ made my boss decide that BMindful is so totally necessary to my excellent work ethic and without it I am not the same!!! – is that why I can get on the site today????)
Love and blessing to you all.
Anoushka ;o)

In response to anoushka_f’s post:
I could not get on either ……….. or maybe I was banned also?! ;-)
Yesterday I took it as a sign that I should make an effort myself to motivate myself. I started reminding myself of everything and writting down the affirmations.
Today I am very happy and grateful to be able to get on the site and do the 5 points as you have mentioned above. And thanks for reminding me of fresh eyes :-)

In response to aftab’s post:
Oh Thank God – I thought I’d been found out! I also see it as a reminder of how grateful I must be for this site. Thanks again Lee. Its amazing how different my life has become since I started listening to my higher self and responding to its needs. Right now I am feeling so much better than yesterday already. Have had a few hiccups, but not responded negatively to them – but merely got on with it. No complaints, just gratitude that this site gives me the ‘tools’ to work my day and get positive outcomes….
;o)

I am also the one banned by my boss for visiting bmindful!!!!
Well at my end too I could not login. It surely made me feel very bad. I kept trying and the ‘cannot find’ message kept popping up. Hope it is not repeated. It did make me feel very low bcoz somehow I have started feeling that visiting this site makes my day. It does give me my own space where I can be me. I just have to login everyday.
Well to make myself top priority I just went to the gym yesterday and today morning, though I was feeling very low. Going to the gym did boost my spirits for some time.

In response to SONIA’s post:
In response to anoushka_f’s post:
I couldnt get on to bmindful yesterday either! no matter how or how many times i tried. I thought it was just my computer being awkard. Ive got it bookmarkd and it kept saying something like “feed faild to load”. Its a relief to know i wasnt the only 1 having trouble glad its back though. Sonia i know how you feel i was very disappointed when i couldnt get on to Bmindful yesterday.

I’ve been toying around with an idea and I thought I’d share it. Basically it’s making the ideas and techniques I want to incorporate into my life into sort of a daily ritual. Most days I do personal growth of some kind, but I was thinking that if I made a list of the things I want to do so that I won’t forget about them I could create a daily habit that covers lots of great stuff. Seems to me that if I create a list and execute it every day for a few weeks it would become habit. Right now I write in my journal most every night and make a list of things I’m grateful for and write some affirmations, but I’m not talking to myself in the mirror very often. I think that’s something I’d like to encorporate into my routine. I feel like if I put a little time into working this out the rewards will be really worthwhile – essentially putting some of the great tools I know about on auto pilot!

Went to sleep early(10 pm) yesterday night as I was feeling deprived of sleep for 2-3 days.Usually I sleep after the house help is gone and I have closed the doors but yesterday I asked my son to do it!
Woke up so very refreshed.

Here is an absolutely FANTASTIC link for you guys. I’m not gonna’ tell you what it is, it’s a suprise! I’m going to do this!
Suprise Link