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★People who refuse to make positive changes

Can someone help me understand why people refuse to make positive changes, why are they so afraid of it, and why do they hurt ones that are closest to them by being difficult, why do they continue to hurt knowing there is serious consequences at stake?

I dont understand these people, there is too much hate as it is in this world, why do they hurt and twist things around to make the other believe it was their fault.

Why cant they be truthful in the first place and be honest with themselves and others when they know that they hurt people and make a promise to not hurt again. Youd think that they would want to change. For the sake of themselves and their family.

Its sad when you love someone with all your heart and then its not returned the same, and the only time they make positive changes is when they are by themselves without you. A good thing happens and then they sabotage it by been negitive, thats not fair!

Whats up with that?

I am so sorry for my rant.

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

In response to Pure Essence’s post:

You do many things to keep yourself growing in healthy positive ways. Does the person you speak or do the same?
—————

In relationships of all kinds we negotiate and compromise. When compromising, don’t compromise your basic principles.

If we’re hurt, that means we have expectations that haven’t been met.

What do you expect?
What does the other person expect?
Loving honesty and civility is key with communication that is real. Go to a great place to talk.
If whatever you’re doing isn’t working, it’s time to get new info to find out what kind of love is necessary to get your point across( tough love or more compassionate understanding, or possibly new info from a third party, even it is only for yourself).

My best to you.

Just got home from work, this is off the cuff. Hope it’s clear.

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

In response to laurie’s post:

thankyou Laurie, I have to be honest with everyone, I am getting emotional abused and I have had enough of it. I called it quits last week, officially I sent him on his way yesterday. I have had enough of his snappy at me for no reason, just over the littlest things, his words and what he says really hurt, I stand trying to find reasons, I do alot of working on trying to understand him and myself, no amount of positive has done anything for him, he just likes causing hurts, he just didnt put his all into me and kids, into us. He made promises and he took it all back. I feel betrayed, frustrated, angry, stupid and I feel like I have been slapped in the face. We just not meant to be.

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

In response to laurie’s post:

No he doesnt do things in a positive way, he reacts negitive all the time, always fighting against me. I dont understand why.

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pure Essence,

Every feeling you’re feeling is valid. People don’t like to change because where they are at is comfortable. Sounds like he feels you are rocking the boat.

Don’t allow anyone to take away your happiness, you have been working hard to keep yourself happy. It sounds as though he feels threatend by your new change. Continue to do your positive thinking because your life is changing for the better. Don’t react to his negativity because now you are back to where he wants you to be. Most likely when he sees you are not affected by his negativity he may start practicing your life changes.

Keep in mind some people don’t want to change. May you have love, comfort joy and happiness.

Mary

Hey PE,

I think he is suffering from low self-esteem. I’m not an expert, but anyone who puts other people down like that are usually feeling really nasty about themselves and may desire a miserable companion.

You need to surround yourself with a lot of love and peace. As a mother, you expend so much energy just taking care of everyday tasks, it is hard to pamper yourself. But, you cannot keep spending energy on everyone else without regenerating your own. Please, please, please make time for yourself.

I can sense the black (low) energy that he has placed around you. I am sure you sense it too. You need to counteract it with lots of good things. The first thing I would so since he is out of the house is give it a lots of cleaning. Then, make sure you bring something beautiful to counteract the bad energy. Maybe a bouquet of flowers from your garden??? Some nice scented candles??? Relaxing music??? Rearrange your furniture??? Make your home your retreat – for you and your kiddos.

I’m not an expert by any means… but even when my husband and I have an argument, I have to “clear the house” of the bad stuff that just went on. Usually, once that is done, the whole house goes back to harmony for us. Maybe there is a feng shui expert here who can give some good advice…

Girly Girl~ I am sending you a super-size amount of love, light, energy, peace – and all good things so that you can deal with what must be done. You know I wish the best for you… especially harmony right now.

BIG HUGS for my Pure Essence!!!! Mary

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

PE, he has to figure out his own answers. You can’t make him learn, he has to do that for himself. Just as you or I can only learn for ourselves. Life is going to present us with lessons. Many of those lessons are painful, and life will present us with the same lesson over and over until we finnaly “get” it. We can understand something “intellectually” without really learning. We know we have “finally” learned when we change our behaviors. Also, I want to mention again the importance of acceptance; seeing reality and accepting that reality. We can be too close sometimes to see clearly. We can also be tricked by our “mind”, “body”, or “emotions”. Your “true self” will not lie to you, ever. The true-self is the voice underneath all of the mind chatter. Listen to your true self.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

Everyone has wonderful advice and wisdom! We love you PE!

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

Pure Essence, you know you are unique and wonderful, you are full of energy and love. you discover what you covet because you are a UNIQUE HUMAN BEING full of Love of God. Some time we tend to loose our reigns in order to a sustainable future so dont worry time is an agent of change and tomorrow you will be a happy and loving person. Dont think a lot coz by doing so you loose your energy. So get up and fight like a fighter. Always give a tough fight to the opponent. Many prays, love and wishes for you.

God Bless You

Tears are welling in my eyes from reading all your love, advice and understanding, I am so deeply touched by every one of you! Thankyou so much from the bottom of my heart for helping me through this process. I love you all with my every inch of my heart! You are all so wonderfully wonderful ((((((CUDDLES))))))

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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