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★Getting Rid of Fear?

Hi Everyone,

My name is Bliss, and this is my first time posting on this forum. Since the year began, I’ve made a promise to myself that I would work hard at improving my life. I’ve suffered from low self-esteem all my life, and as a result of that other areas in my life suffer. One thing that’s really come to light for me since I started really working on myself is the fact that there is a LOT of fear in my life.

I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of being around people. I hate social situations, or going to parties where I won’t know anyone. I’ve never been great at making friends, mainly because I get so stressed out, I work myself up into a state and give off an awkward vibe.

This is really starting to get to me. I’m 22 years old now, and I’m at that stage in my life where I WANT to have a social life. I want to have new friends, and go out and feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to be able to move into my own place and not worry about being alone.

I am so tired of stopping myself from doing things just because I get scared.

Are there any affirmations or other exercises I could try to help me be confident, and not be fearful? So far I’ve been working on trying to tackle the problem by raising my self-esteem and self-confidence, but I would be so grateful if anyone could give me any more advice.

I just want to be able to live my life and get on with people my own age.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you so much!
Bliss.

Hi bliss welcome to bmindful.

This is the right place to come for advice on improving mind/body/spirit.

Ive looked at your affirmations and you already have some good ones relating to making friends.

You could try things like recording your affirmations and listening to them before you go to sleep, and you could take one or two affirmations a day and recite them in your head over and over throughout the day.

There are also books you may find help, such as Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay.

I hope this helps, in the meantime congratulate yourself on begining to work on yourself.

Best wishes, Best78

enjoy life!

Thanks so much for your reply Best, I really appreciate it :)

I’ve actually just started to read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay, and I am honestly loving it so far. I’ll get my hands on a copy of that other one, it sounds like it could really be helpful to me :)

Thanks again!

Hi Bliss….. I am much older than you but can really relate…. so I commend you on your search for the answers you seek…. you will be much loved here and there will be plenty of opportunity for growth…. wish this web site was around when I was your age…. in fact… wish the web had been around when I was your age…. ;> keep us posted on your status… we all love to hear how each other is doing….

Kathy

Hi Bliss. I know exactly how you feel. I too can relate…even to this day. Am working on it. That’s one of the reasons that I’m here. Lots of good advice & inspiration.

Just hang in there and take baby steps.

Be sure to visit Bmindful often reading the posts and affirmations here plus adding your own, doesn’t matter where you get them, as long as they work for you. Visit other sites that might be helpful too. There’s lots out there.

You’ll find that you’ll have moments that are really nice and eventually you’ll have days like that too. You’ll see. I’m looking forward to hearing about some of those moments Bliss that you’re gonna have on the journey that you’re taking.

Diana

Thank you everyone, for your kind words. They mean a lot to me, and I’ll be sure to check in regularly and keep you updated on how I’m doing :)

Bliss.

hey Bliss… how is it going? had a thought that might work for you…. you say you are afraid of being alone… can I ask the rhetorical question why? if you can put your finger on something more concrete you can talk to that fear and let it know that you hvae more power over yourself than it has over you and you will not be defeated….

example…. I talk to my money problems….

money problems… you have no hold over me…. I rebuke you and demand that you go away never to return…. I fill my mind with images of money coming to me in all kinds of ways so there is no room for you here….

doing that makes me feel better and in more control over my circumstances…

hope things are going well… Kathy

Bliss,

I understand how you feel, as I was you 10 years ago.

Bliss, look at what you wrote….“My name is Bliss, and this is my first time posting on this forum. Since the year began…

I’ve made a promise to myself that I would work hard at improving my life. (GOOD, THIS IS GOOD )

(NOT GOOD, NOT A THOUGHT YOU WANT TO BELIEVE IN)

One thing that’s really come to light for me since I started really working on myself is the…

.

< I’m afraid of being around people.>
< I hate social situations, or going to parties where I won’t know anyone.>
< I’ve never been great at making friends, mainly because I get so stressed out, I work myself up into a state and give off an awkward vibe.>

BLISS, look at your thought process, what do you expect will manifest into your reality if these are the thoughts you believe in.”

…This is really starting to get to me. I’m 22 years old now, and I’m at that stage in my life where…

((I WANT to have a social life.)))

((I want to have new friends, and go out and feel comfortable in my own skin.)))
((I want to be able to move into my own place and not worry about being alone.))

BLISS, This is what you want to believe in. These are the thoughts you want to become your “train of thought. I have good news for you, like you would go to the gym to build your muscles, there is training that you can do to strengthen your thinking. “

I am so tired of stopping myself from doing things just because I get scared. ((( YOU FEEL SCARED ONLY BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE SCARED, CHANGE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND BE SCARED NO MORE)))

Are there any affirmations ((((YOU JUST LISTED THEM UP THERE YOURSELF, REMEMBER “ I want to have friends, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin” ALL THAT GOOD STUFF, THEY ARE YOUR AFFIRMATIONS.

YOU HAVE TO CREATE THE PRACTICE AND ADD IT TO YOUR LIFE, BEST THAT FITS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO REPEAT AFFIRMATIONS EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. THE GREAT NEWS IS THAT AFFIRMATIONS WORK EVERY TIME AND WITH EVERYONE. JUST GOTTA DO IT)))…

… or other exercises I could try to help me be confident, and not be fearful? So far I’ve been working on trying to tackle the problem by raising my self-esteem and self-confidence, but I would be so grateful if anyone could give me any more advice.

I just want to be able to live my life and get on with people my own age.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you so much!
Bliss.

Simply but, change your thinking, change your life. =)

Nothing can stop you but you.

I BELIEVE IN YOU =)

-Gary

Hi bliss, just take baby steps, keep chipping away and you’ll get there:)

Hi Bliss…. affirmations that might be helpful are:

I refuse to let fear stand in the way of my being myself

I release any fear of being socially accepted

take what you need and chuck the rest….

I dido all the advice Gary gave… very insightful… if you follow his line of thinking, forming more affirmations will be easy…

love to you

Kathy

Hello Bliss,

Do not be harsh on yourself. You are still quite young in the grand scheme of life and are just now coming into your groove. This is a good thing. Congratulations! You are clear about what your desires are.

It is all about right – timing in life… and this is your right time. Hooray! Now you get to sit back and enjoy the wonders the world has to offer.

First of all, a huge regret I HAD in my life as I entered my middle years was the fact that I wasted so many years in FEAR. Yukky! I am so happy to hear that you are facing this at such an early age now so that you don’t have to work on forgiving yourself later.

Trust your intuition. I believe you already have it inside you and you KNOW what to do and the actions you need to take.

Get going girl and let us know your progress!!

Much Love, MM

PS: I have a daughter your age and I give her the same advice…

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

Oh yes, let’s give Bliss all of the acronyms for FEAR that you have in your repitoire. I think that may help her…

False
Expectations (or Evidence) (or Emotion)
Appearing
Real

Frantic
Effort to
Avoid
Reality

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

Hi Bliss….Here is an email I recieved on fear…. thought it might give you and maybe others some insight… wishing you joy and gladness…

How we HANDLE fear is what can either multiply Manifestations
or just roll them back and block them … In fact, once you master the HANDLING of fear, you will start manifesting GREAT things in your life, by LEAPS AND BOUNDS

I absolutely GUARANTEE that.

So, let’s examine fear for a moment… And after I explain why, at the end I summarize… What is fear and what is it trying to tell you? Fear is a message to you, saying: “I think you are not prepared for what’s coming!”
This message is not a bad message on its own. It’s simply a message…
In fact, it can be very helpful at times.

BUT

how you respond to this message is going to make all the difference in the world… There are different ways that you can respond to the message of fear, But only one of them leads to great manifestations…

Here they are…
Some people take the power of this message and turn it into worry…
How? They take it inside and internalize it …
And what does that do? You guessed it! That impresses your subconscious mind

Remember:
subconscious mind is impacted by strong emotions and feelings
Worrisome images and negative thoughts will only impress your subconscious mind and manifest more of them… And, of course, you don’t want that…
So firstly, DON’T push the fear deep down and turn it into worry and
negative emotions. That may even lead to depression and major blocks
to manifestations. So, what should you do? Since you don’t want to impress the subconscious mind with negative thoughts, instead of internalizing the fear, you should externalize it… Use your conscious mind to take action… Let the conscious mind deal with it, NOT the subconscious mind…

Remember:
Always, impress your subconscious mind with JOYFUL feelings
only, and protect it from negative emotions… Now, you may ask “How do I use my conscious mind to deal with fear?” Valid question!

There are two ways that you can use your conscious mind to deal with fear, and only one of these two leads to great manifestations… Some people externalize the fear and take action. BUT, they do it destructively by being aggressive or angry… I’d say an absolute NO-NO to that.
That may give some people temporary relief, but it’s not socially
acceptable And most important, it does not address the message that fear had in the first place, which was “I don’t think you are prepared!”

So finally, here’s the BEST response:
Take Action Constructively. That means that you should see what it is that you think you need to do to be prepared? And take concrete steps… That’s the BEST way to erase fears without impacting your subconscious mind with worry images…So, in handling fear you should use your conscious mind… After all, That’s all fear was trying to tell you: “You think you are not prepared”. Once you recognize that and address it, it will go away… Every time, fear starts showing its face, call it! “OK, you are trying to tell me I am not prepared?” and then take action towards preparation… It’ll go away when you recognize its message and take action…also, believing in your Higher Self while taking action, makesyour fears smaller and smaller and farther away…

Great thread!

One thing that I remind myself and other of a lot is that we are not our thoughts. We are the AWARENESS behind our thoughts. This is a pretty great things to become more aware of! We are not our minds or bodies or emotions. Sure our bodies are real, but we are (at least I like to believe) eternal, spiritual beings who are currently inhabiting these bodies. We are here for a reason and we chose to be here. We have to have our bodies and thoughts and emotions to interact in this world, but our thoughts and our bodies and our emotions are just tools and gauges to help us. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions, by steping back from ourselves and examining our thoughts and emotions as observers we become more present. Being present, living in the “now” is where everything takes place. Most of our fear, or maybe a better word is anxiety, comes from dwelling too much in the future or past. Sure, the future is coming and we have to plan for it. Sure, the past happened and we are partly a product of it, BUT what we are doing right NOW is what really matters. Have you ever noticed how you can become completely engrossed in something you are doing and time becomes meaningless. THAT is being present and living in the now. Don’t fret so much over the future. Step back and laugh at yourself when you catch yourself worrying about “bad things” that MIGHT, but PROBABLY WON’T happen to you. Don’t fear being alone! Learn to enjoy yourself. Like yourself first, and it will naturally follow that others will like you. You are, after all, a magnificent being. You are here for a reason. You have a unique set of talents that has never existed before and never will again. Others might have similar talents but you and me and everyone else has a very unique and precise set of skill. What are your skills? What are your personal values? Have you ever really thought about this stuff, I mean, really, really deeply thought about it? What is it that excites you? What interests you? Find the answers to these questions and you will have far less fear and anxiety in your life. Answer these questions and you will be on far more stable ground. You will be able to pick a direction. You will spend far more time in the “NOW” and far less time worrying. A verse from the Bible comes to mind, I can’t quote it exactly, but it’s about how worry and anxiety. I’m gonna find it.

Okay, I found it…

Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)

Do Not Worry 25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

——————
You don’t see animals worrying about the future or past. Animals exist in the now. As far as I can tell we are the only being on the earth that worry. It is our mind that creates our worry. Our minds give up great power, but our mind gives a lot of worries too. How many of our fears are really justified? If you are on the internet, if you live in a house with running water, if you don’t have to worry about someone stoning you for being in public with a man that isn’t your father, then you are one of the richest people on the planet. Your life is blessed. Did you know that approximately 30,000 children died today of starvation? What do you or I have to fear? Not only do we have plenty of food and water, we can speak our minds without fear of being put in prison. Solomon had lots of gold, but he didn’t have air conditioning. You have access to public libraries. The world is at your fingertips. What do you have to worry about, REALLY.

I hope this doesn’t sound condescenting, I’m just rambling, but you get my point. Figure out what matters to you. Use affirmations and the other things suggested on this site, vision boards, sleep tapes, exercise, they all help, but also spend a lot of time looking inward and finding what matters to you. Get busy doing and you won’t have nearly as much time to worry. Look through some of the powertools threads and “depository of useful links” threads. The secrets aren’t really secrets at all.

I hope this makes sense and is readable. It’s late and I need to be in bed.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

I actually signed off to get in bed and one more thing came to mind.

Consider your circle of influence. I often find myself getting angry or worried about things that are big, like the direction our country is heading or the oil spill or the national debt and I speak out about what I think and feel. Those things are important, but by focusing more on understanding ourselves and doing more of the things that matter to us as individuals we not only do we have happier lives we increase our own power and effectiveness in this world. One of the best things we can do is spend time thinking about those really important questions of what matters to me, what do I care about, the better we understand ourselves. The better we understand ourselves the more solid the ground we stand on. When we are on solid ground we have the confidence to DO with conviction. We should strive to understand ourselves better, and we should strive to become better communicators. We should learn to really listen. Why did you come here? What is the real you trying to express in this world?

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

Also we should carefully proofread thing before we post them, especially when we’re sleepy!!!

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

I was cleaning out my emails, and lo and behold a Brian Tracy newsletter emerged lol(:

Here is something that seemed to work in this thread which originated in 2010, and now bringing it forward in 2015:

From Brian:

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to deal with the fear of rejection, criticism and disapproval.

First, realize and accept that the opinions of others are not important enough for you to feel stressed, unhappy or over concerned about them. Even if they dislike yo u entirely, it has nothing to do with your own personal worth and value as a person.

Second, refuse to be over concerned about what you think people are thinking about you. The fact is that most people are not thinking about you at all. Relax and get on with your life.

To overcoming fear(:

I know this is an oversimplification….main premises has some good points(: I will be back to share some thoughts later today(:

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

Nothing binds you except your thoughts:
Nothing limits you except your fears:
And nothing controls you like your fears.
Marianne Williamson

I Am living a Divine plan

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