Help!! need positivity at the workplace

Hi all,

Could someone please give me some ideas on how i can be more positive at my workplace.
How do I pay attention to work which is important but am not too fond of?

I have a colleague who has become a little hostile. I have tried discussing
the matter with her but she wont listen. She seems to have made up her mind that i am out to get her. The fact is that I am a harmless geek who has no desire to hurt anyone. I can sense negative vibes emanating from my colleague. In meetings she treats my ideas irrelevant. If things dont improve I may have to move to a different role. I may even need to change jobs.

What affirmation can I use to change this situation? I want to change things so that we can have a peaceful and prosperous relationship.

Please do share ideas. Do share your own experiences.

In response to cleric’s post:
Hi Cleric,
In my experience, when things are difficult at work or in any aspect of life you cannot change other people, places or things – BUT you can change yourself and your attitude towards it/them etc.

I used to hate having to make the tea when I first came into my current job. I had previously been a head of department, teaching my studied subject and being the top end of my career – to go from that to having to make the tea made me unbelievably resentful. I had some great advice and learnt a lot from this site and started to use affirmations such as
“ I am exactly where I need to be at this moment in my life”
“All small tasks I do are part of a bigger and better plan”
“I love my job and I am appreciated and respected” etc etc.

I needed to learn that this is where God/Higher power believes I need to be at the moment and that things will improve and my natural talents and abilities will shine through if I continue to make that tea with a smile – lovingly and free from resentment. Lo and behold I learnt about the value of humility (I got off my damn high horse thinking I should be doing more important things) and started to just Trust the process….

I recently got promoted – I have a better attitude towards my colleagues (I used to want to spit in their tea – never did though!!). I am now respected for my abilities (which go beyond tea making) and I just get on with the little things saying to myself daily “I love my job and I do my best at any task”…. Things got better – because I changed ME.
The same people try to put me down…but I choose to have humour over it rather than building up a grudge. I have self love (I dont need approval because I know my worth)….

In a nutshell, the change comes from within.
I still make the tea along with my other duties, but now its not a bitter chore – Its just one of the many lessons God puts in front of me to remind me to be more grounded and humble….there is much value in those traits.

In response to cleric’s post:
Oh and one more thing you said that resonated with me
“ I have tried to talk to her, but she wont listen…”
If you trust that what you have to say is valuable, you should not care so much if she doesn’t listen. Yes, she is hostile – perhaps you need to remove yourself from her as she’s not doing any favours. Thats her stuff. Let her get on wiht it, but continue to be loving and pleasant towards her….she might even change seeing the change in you. The main thing is to keep your side of the street clean….
Also try praying for her – in my experience, this either makes her drift further away (If God/Universe believes the realtionship is not good for you) OR allows her to open up a bit more. Maybe she is going through a bad patch…? Wonderful things happen when the change starts from you…

Sounds like she’s really insecure and self-centered. She’s also very defensive about loosing her promotions. Why not do little things for her that show’s you care? Put affirmations in a frame at your work, so you see expectation affirmation constantly. Lowering your expectations about your job will help! I have great one’s you can check out on expectations.

All the above suggestions are good and I really hate to bring this up, because I may seem like I am preaching this too much; but please check out the EFT Tapping Forum. I can use my affirmations and meridian tapping can get great results, especially when you are irritated about something or someone.

The key is to put your feelings in the Even though sentence and then really go to town get all the feelings out and tap as you go. This is a proven scientific fact that Tapping helps release blocked energy in our bodies that are causing most of our emotions.

Thinking energy form is what we are and the way to correct any of our negative emotions is to acknowledge, love and accept, then forgive and create a better situation.

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 15/03/2010.

In response to anoushka’s post:
In response to anoushka’s post:
In response to cleric’s post:

Anousha,

I so agree with everything you said!!!(:

Great thread..Looking forward to coming back when time permits(:

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 15/03/2010. Last edited on 16/03/2010.

In response to cleric’s post:

I hear you wanting:
-how you can be more positive at your workplace
-how you can pay attention to work which is important but don’t care for
-and you deal with a hostle coworker

Before we dissect and create(:

Define what hostile means regarding your coworker.
Define why you dislike your work.

Great response Anoushka!

Anoushka :-
My post was my prayer to the cosmos.I wanted to know if i would be heard.I thank you for your kind words. I pray that u too receive the kindness u’ve shown me.

With a prayer on my lips I spoke to my lady co-worker yday and we had a long chat. Not all the differences were resolved in that one conversation but we agreed to be good to each other in the office. She is basically a good person but we had a spat few months back, I did all but go down on my knees and apologize but she would not let me.
She kept saying that things were cool but her body language was far from cool. In meetings she would make me look bad, few things like this happened.
In yesterdays conversation i sensed some of the bitterness dissolved things may get better.
I am trying to change my attitude as well so that I can respond patiently instead of reacting mindlessly. This will take a little time but I’ll manage.

Laurie who loves focusing well –

In an earlier job i was an important person my opinions respected, when i took up this new job i felt that i became a nobody. I could not bring in any positivity or mindfulness to my activities and end result was a one third life crisis.
I dont hate my job, but i do find it difficult to pay attention to simple uncomplicated routine steps. I focus easily when things are tough but its always the little things which have got me into trouble.
And in my current role i have only little things to focus on like color of fonts, decimal places in numbers.
I want to be able to focus on these things too. I’ve tried chanting sentances like “I love my job”,” all things are important” but i lose heart as soon as i turn on my laptop and mindlessness take over.
I so want to end this stupidity. I am looking for a simple short mantra i can tell my self to keep my focus in the here and now.

About my co-worker.

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 16/03/2010.

In response to cleric’s post:
Thank you so much for all you’ve shared.

I will guarantee you will be able to focus on the little things when you let go of the people places and things that you are allowing yourself to be distracted by.

I will also guarantee that things will be better as far as “the little things” for forgiving your imperfections, and believing with each passing moment you progress as you desire/need.

You are right where you are supposed to be start from this moment.

Do you listen to any motivational audio tapes?

Also, join me on Off to work process affirmation thread, and we can come up with things daily.

I guarantee as you focus on yourself and your own improvement that all things will be phenomenal on your journey.

You’ve already begun..

About my co-worker :

Long story in short, we had a fight. I apologized, my apology was not accepted. Instead my punishments started. My opinions were met with insults,
only my mistakes highlighted etc. I thought that i could be patient and wait for the bitterness to burn up it did not happen for months.
We had a talk yday and sorted out somethings but i dont want to sit back. I want a way to show this person that i do respect her and that we make a good team.
Also i dont want a repeat of this with any other person ever again. Can I use
any affirmations so that i can send out positive vibes to people and respond to them calmly and patiently. My infantile drive to lash out at people has to end.
Help me construct some affirmations to become more patient, to create consensus instead of conflict.

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 16/03/2010.

Hello C,
How about this process affirmation for Tuesday(:

Today I am the person I respect the most. I am my minds eye of compassion and love. I forgive myself and others as needed. I start over with each new piece of wisdom I understand consciously and unconsciously regarding being my best self. I thank the God of my understanding for co-creating my perfect life with and for me.
And it is all so. Amen

Thank you laurie,
I will use this affirmation. I sense some resistance to the words “ i respect myself”. I think slowly and patiently i can dissolve the resistance.

Have a nice day :0

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 16/03/2010.

In response to cleric’s post:

That is wonderful that you are so aware of your resistance in anything..Now you have a place to start from?

Do you listen to audio tapes and do you work on self talk (inner kid stuff)?

In response to cleric’s post:
Cleric, you have made me smile today. I identify with your struggle and that in itself tells me I am not alone. The fact that I was of any help to you keeps me on the right track with this stuff too – because one little slip in faith and positivity can put me right back where I started, so its work in progress on a daily basis.

With your co-worker (again I identify, as I am going through a similar situation with my sister in law). The thing I have learnt is to keep my side of the street clean (a you are doing) keep being loving, patient and kind and if she wants to listen then good, but if she doesnt, perhaps she is uncomfortable/incapable of receiving that goodness, because it highlights the error of her ways….no one likes to feel in the wrong. And when you are nothing but pleasant, the other person has no choice but to either accept and reciprocate or go on the defensive….

Yes, fully respect yourself and mean in – perhaps your co-worker is a little envious of the way you handled this?? You apologised first….

If after all your good efforts there is still hostility, perhaps its the universe’s way of keeping you at a distance from this person. So why resist that guidance?? The universe wants whats best for you!

My blessings and love to you.
A :O)

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 16/03/2010.

I feel it is very important to speak to your best self, and your inner child.

We are composed of so many selves.
Depending on how we speak to ourselves and to what part of us we speak to, that part of us will step up.

Everyone has an idea and a place inside where love and compassion lives.
If you are more familiar with the part of you that is not in touch with that part, it may be time to not only educate the less in touch part..but to actually ignore that part..

Give yourself permission to shine with the attributes you long for.
If an issue or a wounded part crops up, treat it like a spoiled child that can’t throw tantrums, and fake it until you make it, and re-parent yourself with the way you want to be.

You mentioned you felt resistance with respecting yourself. You can break that wall down, with remembering your desire to break that barrier down is
backed with the motive to simply love yourself more.

Loving yourself more, means doing the next right thing.

Treat others as though the their best is covered with their own wounds.
The more you act with love, no matter how they treat you (with no expectations..keeping the focus on bettering yourself), you will become healthier, more true to your best self, and you just might be key in leading with example and helping the other person heal their wounds.

I have many examples in my own life where this is the case. Just yesterday, a coworker who used to react so horribly to me, was the kindest caring person I had seen. She is more kind daily. I never stopped treating her kind, and I focused on my work during her stint of ‘hard to be around’ behavior. I don’t care who made errors earlier on, if people make it difficult for you to clear up misunderstandings life can be miserable in a professional environment.

There are no guarantees that people change, because we can’t change others. Though by focusing on you alone, and working on your own self-respect love challenges, you will grow in ways you’ve never imagined.

Life is way too short to work on changing things that we are really powerless over. Though, put that the power back in your life, and love yourself like there is no tomorrow.
Much love,
Laurie

In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:
This is so true Laurie. I love the way you shift the focus on self – being the best self regardless of how the other may treat you and doing the next right thing. Its so true that you must fully embrace that best self and trust in him/her. Self respect, means that their hurtful actions wont hurt so much because you are doing your best at treating them kindly.
I heard something the other day that made so much sense.
Resenting another person is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die (when really all you are doing is hurting yourself. Love and respect yourself and be kind to yourself and others….the rest will take care of itself.

˚ answered prayer, thank you  

Posted on 16/03/2010.

In response to anoushka’s post:
Love that quote..I will remember it.