Hello and Beautiful Greetings! :)
I’m in love with some of the ideas that I’m seeing right now about “addiction” and wanted to share some of what I’m reading. My hope is that maybe someone else will enjoy these ideas as well!
1 The mainstream philosophy of addiction is super disempowering. People are described as having a Disease. Literature from that school of thought says stuff like, “Acknowedge that you are powerless over your binge eating” or whatever. Total bullcrap really!
2. A more rational approach to problem behaviors is that our behaviors are always under our conscious control. Eating is a voluntary behavior. Gambling is a voluntary behavior. Smoking is a voluntary behavior. Exercising (or avoiding exercise) is a voluntary behavior. Ahhh, that’s much better! :)
3. Somebody who overdoes it in some area of their life is almost certainly giving the addictive substance or act, some magical powers that are not actually there. Like, someone who seeks food in times of trouble, almost certainly has been telling themselves that pasta is an excellent way to distract yourself from your own fearful thoughts. Do ravioli really have a magical substance that combats fearful thoughts, or is it just a lie we’ve accepted or embraced? Is wine really a good way to handle troubles, or are the troubles still there once the wine is in your system?
4. In any situation, there are several alternative behaviors. This is worth pointing out because anyone who has adopted the culture of addiction believes that when they are having a rough day, they HAVE to hit the donuts. In reality, we can prove that lots of people have a rough day without ever hitting the donuts. So it is not a fact that you HAVE TO submit to bad coping mechanisms.
5. Problem spending (or problem drinking, or problem eating, or even depressive thinking) is any pattern that has kept bringing you further from your desired outcomes. If a person thinks, “I HAVE to have some pumpkin pie because my mother-in-law will be offended if I don’t”, then this person would be wise to ask whether situations like this are adding up to a pants size that is not pleasing to them. If yes, then it is probably a pattern of problem eating. People who rationalize that they can eat THIS piece of pumpkin pie, and then work it off tomorrow, are probably missing the full chain of behaviors that makes up their problem eating. One piece of pie will not, in itself, keep you at a weight you do not like, but the ability to rationalize one piece of pie today, and another one on Thursday, is EXACTLY what has gotten us to this point.
6. “I can’t” is only true if death would ensue. For example, if you tell yourself that you “can’t” stand going out to dinner, without ordering rich food like everyone else, ask whether you would actually DIE if you did this behavior. If death would not ensue, then that is just an exaggeration. In reality, some behaviors might prove somewhat unpleasant (having coffee instead of birthday cake, at your daughter’s party) and others may prove slightly awkward (telling your overweight mother in law that you like her pumpkin pie but not the extra weight you carry when you eat dessert), but these things will not kill you.
OK, those are my contributions on rational ways to think about “Addictions” without falling into mainstream nonsense. :)
Feel free to jump in if you have any thoughts on Albert Ellis’s work (Rational Emotive Therapy), or on Jack Trimpey’s philosophies (Rational Recovery). I’m fascinated and if anyone sees other arguments in their works, I’d love to hear them!
-BrightAngel
