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Discussion★★Incorporating Tough Love into Affirmations!

I wanted to post something a wee bit awkward, which is that I am finding as I go, that there is a little bit of tough love to be had, even in the world of affirmations!

For example, if I write to myself, 

“You feel pleased with your efforts today, and are delighted at the things you have done to lead a life free of junk foods” — that is a lovely start.  

Strangely, I find it also helps me to write, 

“You know that things do not always go your way, and when those days happen, you want to remind yourself that you can survive a day without junk food.  You can even survive a BAD day without getting into junk food.  You are able to survive the day without reactivating old addictions.”

I mention this because I’ve recently noticed that a GINORMOUS reason that my successes have often been delayed and thrown on the back burners, is that I had a secret agreement with myself that it’s OK to foresake discipline on days when people have been unkind to you.  

The upshot of this is that this puts your goals in the hands of the meanies of this world, which is exactly who you DON’T want to be in charge of your goals.  

A different example: If I let myself off the hook for going to the gym, every day that someone here on planet earth decides to be an A-hole, then guess how long it will take me to get fit?  (Uh, yeah.  a long freaking time.)

So my contribution for today, is to offer everyone here the idea that maybe if you have a rough day, you will not make as much progress toward your goals as you would on a supermotivated day, but that building the tough love into your plan of attack (that no matter WHAT life brings, you will still make small efforts toward your goal) — could save you a couple years of effort.  (How many of us have lost many years of effort playing the “two steps forward, two steps back” game?)

Enjoying the affirmations game tremendously!  -BrightAngel

response to BrightAngel's post : 

BrightAngel, always love your affirmations! They reach right in and reconstruct a struggle into a victory

The energy of this thread reminds me of a quote by Anthony Robbins:

The people who overcome the odds and turn their lives around make three powerful kinds of decisions every day:
1.  What to focus on

2.  What things mean

3.  What to do

 

 

Trust me... I desire to be treated well by everyone! Though there is always someone somewhere that will feel this or that ... that if I took it as gospel... that I would be thrown for a loop.

The Beauty Of CONTRAST

contrast  has me asking me these questions:-how can I be kinder to me today?-how can I best live in this world and be kind, happy and continue to share harmoniously from my spirit place to myself ?

{and of course to others}?

 

initially I didn't give much thought to others disrespecting me...

I was sleepy  ... and my focus zoomed in  on your statements:if you have a rough day, you will not make as much progress toward your goals as you would on a supermotivated day, but that building the tough love into your plan of attack (that no matter WHAT life brings, you will still make small efforts toward your goal) — could save you a couple years of effort.  

  • I began thinking  how to give myself more encouragement. { how I wanted to be kinder to me ... while getting a bit tougher.}
  • Later,  I asked  myself what occurs for me when I am disrespected by others or other things that take away from my good day...?
  • How does it affect my goal-focus? ...I will note {eventually} I end up rediscovering -it is the contrast in life that has  me desiring to be  kinder to myself  {and others...}These soulful epiphanies are my better 'whys' /'hows' to better keep on keeping on.

 

 

 

Your thread, BrightAngel... is a perfect example of great ways to move forward no matter what.I enjoy feeling good & I enjoy my goals to get purposeful loving energy!

{combined 2 posts I had...because initially misread your context...

  eventually would love to return here!}

 

Thank you for creating this inspiring thread!Glad I revisited !

 

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

In response to BrightAngel's post:I think this is a tough problem for us all. When we feel we have been treated unfairly by others or by what life hands us, it is easy to feel defeated and zapped of our natural energy and do nothing. It is during these times when it is extremely important,as you say, to take small positive steps toward your goals. As far as getting off track when someone disrespects you I find it helpful to remind myself that I am the only one that can make me feel bad. I won’t give my power away especially to others that are unkind, rude, or disrespectful. This is where positive affirmations come in handy. “My Spirit and strength is greater than any obstacle I may face. “

Fly away to your greatest good!

In response to BrightAngel's post:Hi BrightAngel! Thanks for putting this post up!

I want to acknowledge that I heard what you are saying and I also hear what you did not say.

I hear what you said about tough love, and how discipline could save you a few years.

I also hear you say that you love yourself, regardless if its a rough day or a good day. 

I also have a long relationship with junk food! During times of stress or uncertainty I allow myself to be comforted by food, or distracted by TV stories, or many other comforts. When I am stressed, somethings prayer and a quick power nap work the best because I believe in prayer and I believe in surrendering those prayers and not picking things up again but just let it go. I make the next best choice. Structure helps me. Staying busy is a gift! After all of the production and work is out of the way, the last thing I want or need is an issue to rub me wrong. What helps me is being in touch with my values, and living within those values. 

Love is another word for discipline! For me, I do not enjoy feeling goal driven. That just feels like a to do list. I want to be the goal. My health, my ideal weight, feeling stronger, feeling healthier, a great brisk walk, and just making the very most of the morning. I find great pleasure when I love and respect myself, when I take time to put those values first, and create this day to the best of my ability. I really want to enjoy my health - in each moment of this day. 

Thanks again for putting this up! 

BTW, I am looking at getting a used recumbent bike for home use. Regardless if I leave the house or not, I can knock out 30-45 minutes on the bike while listening to music. 

Its moving and getting our lymphatics flowing that help make us feel good. And, feeling good is the goal.

I just want to comment on this thread again(:

Much inspiration has come to me since my participation on this thread:

  • adding more 'You' affirmations
  • thinking about what I need to feel more of... to do more of what I desire done
  • and the doing more of what I am needing.Thanks again for the creation of this thread!

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

At the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I am enjoying my own thread, and wanted to add some more thoughts to the mix!  :)

Kathi, i think it is so interesting how each of our patterns of comfort eating are very similar to other people’s — the common thread being that we started to attribute to food some magic powers it does not and cannot possess.  So, I’ve been thinking about how important it is to affirm the simple, unmagical nature of food. (I can contribute some affirmations on this one!)

Food is not a cure for boredom. 

Sugar does not make things better, and usually makes things worse. 

Eating when fearful thoughts are running the show is not really rational. (Fearful thoughts do not go away when you feed them lasagna!)

Thoughts that put more real estate between us and our desired future (i.e. preferred weight, preferred relationship with food, preferred appearance/confidence) are easily identified as Sabotaging Thoughts. Either the idea helps bring you closer to your goal (“I eat well even when things don’t go my way”) or the idea pushes you far from your goal (“If my mood is not a good one, all bets are off, and it’s fine for me to sit down with a box of twinkies.  Because I believe that everything has to go my way, and if it doesn’t, then poor, poor me!”)

You cannot always make things better, but you can always make them worse.  (If your boss is an A-hole to you, and you don’t know how to fix that, then that is sometimes a hard fact of life. Making your situation worse, by beginning binge cycles is always your option.  You are not powerless.  Proof of this is that you always have the power to set yourself back in life!)

Oh well, that’s a whole lotta rambling!  :)

I have every intention of batching up some affirmations on eating, in the months to come!  

In response to BrightAngel's post:

I am so glad you are enjoying your own thread... It is an enjoyable thread! I am looking forward to your creative affirmations which pleasantly allow 'it all'

In regard to powerlessness... 

For me powerlessness is a combination of

acknowledging and accepting all of what I am feeling as just feelings and being reminded 

I Am 

more than what feels like an obstruction.

I Am 

empowered by powerlessness.

I Am

friends with my reality by knowing 

I Am more than what presents.

Your affirmations often feeds this belief of mine. 

Sometimes in the morning when I want to do whatever I am doing at the pace I am doing it.... and not feel rushed... because I obviously need to be at work... 

I... make friends with time.

I claim to the universe and myself I dance with time today.

I am always so amazed ... how it seems to be an on switch for being present in the moment, loving the moment, looking forward to the day... and somehow 'stopping time' stretching it if you will. 

I too love the healthier life-without beating myself over any and all choices. I was attracted to your thread... because while I want to be compassionate with myself... I also want to 'get tougher' .. with the specifics I say I want for myself.

Love your inspiration.

Even though I may love it for different reasons than you intended ...

It continues to be added inspiration for me... 

from the title to your personal reasons for creating it.

 

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

In response to SelfCareALifeOfEase˚'s post:

I appreciate your level of self compassion!

In response to BrightAngel's post:

I read your words, and I can understand all that you are saying. 

Life is full of choices. For many, we may not yet have developed a kinder approach, a more loving and really being gentle with ourself.

The world is full of dynamic changes. There is such struggle, over power, politics and rights. 

I am learning to stop listening to it all. I am choosing to value silence so that I can hear what my heart, mind and spirit are communicating.

Here is what I hear in my spirit today: Life is a Gift. Remember to Love yourself a little more each day. Embrace this Gift. Be still. Focus on what is most important. 

It really doesn't matter what others say; what matters more is what we say in our quiet moments of gentle, kind self talk. Take time for self care. Take time for self gratitude. 

Be generous. Be gracious with this incredible Gift of this moment!

I Am willing to engage all that is right with me!

I am willing to allow others to experience what is right with me!

Self confidence is always appealing!

Everyday is brand new! I powerfully claim that every day is free and unencumbered by yesterday.

Confidence: my new tough Love! 

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