★Betrayal.

Have you gone thur a betrayal from the person you love and how did you handle it.?

Betrayal is a toughie. The key is to let go of your anger and forgive. That doesn’t mean you have to forget, but to get past it you must forgive. Holding on to the hurt and anger only hurts YOU! I can’t say this enough times. Holding on to the anger only hurts you!!! The hurt will keep re-surfacing, but over time it will rear its ugly head less and less. Remember, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can always control your reaction to what happens to you. You aren’t responsible for every thought that enters your head, but you ARE responsible for the thoughts you KEEP in your head. You are responsible for the thoughts you dwell on. When you are getting down make a conscious effort to change your state. Get busy doing something. Listen to some music that energizes you and makes you feel good. Hang out with some friends. Go camping. Take a walk. Watch a happy movie. Read a book about someone who overcame real challenges. It’ll take time, but you will get there and you’ll be a better person when you do. There are always lessons hidden in the things that hurt us. It hurts because we care.

Disclosure with a close friend can be very helpful too. It’s amazing how we can feel ashmed of other people’s behavior and blame ourselves. None of us are perfect. All of us are struggling to get through this life. (The person who betrayed you is struggling too.) Opening up to friends and family is one of the most freeing things we can do. It can be hard, but it is worth is. Learning how to communicate with those close to us is one of the best things we can ever do for ourselves. Having the tough conversations builds real intimacy and trust. Maybe it’s time to move on, only you can answer that for yourself, but learn from the hurt. Eventually you will be able to trust again.

I know, I’m rambling….

What is the difference between ego and self respect?
My ego has flared up like a boil and I am struggling every waking hour.

Is the ego the venom in the wound which must be sucked out to enhance healing?

The man I was married to for almost 23 years went outside the marriage for emotional comfort and support. It’s a congenital weakness of his…

It is surprizingly difficult to talk to family and I think it’s because that would actually confirm a fact which I am still hoping is just a dream.

I am so grateful that my interest in positive affirmations was provided at the right time in my life to enable me to cope and feel and work through this (though it may not sound it, it is helping me).

I’m sure I’ll be learning many lessons from this. (Listen to your gut instincts is one) but I am more than just a chicken mommy. I will listen to my gut. I will take care of myself. I will express myself. I will get a french bulldog and name it “Oui” and we shall amuse each other and travel someplace warm.

your positivity is amazing and will get you through this painfull experience ,you have good plans especially the dog .Take care of yourself, im sorry i cant be any help but am always ready to listen if you need a freind .Love and hugs flowergirl

Betrayal is such an ugly beast to deal with. The pain strikes at your most weakest points. Sometimes you question your sanity, your self-worth, and many other things. What did you say to make them stray? What could you do different? Is something wrong with me?

Then, there is the trust. Why are they gone so long? Who is on the phone? Are they really faithful now? Is it going to happen again? The suspicions are enough to drive a person crazy.

Cookieman is right. Forgiveness is key. The FIRST person to forgive is yourself. What happened is done. Love yourself enough to move on and grow regardless of how it turns out. If you are going to work it out, know it is a tough, rough road – with issues. If you decide to move on, know it is a tough, rough road – with issues. Either way… :)

Then, forgive the offender. Yes, I nearly choked to get those words out… but it is so important. Don’t let their transgressions fester in YOUR HEART. You don’t have to approve of what they did, but move past it. It is for YOUR OWN good!!!

Oh, there are some good articles that have warning signs if you are only suspicious. However, if your intuition tells you something is wrong, please listen to it. Love yourself enough to act on it.

PS: These are words of advice from someone who wasted many years as an ostrich with my head buried in the sand. The good news, there are wonderful people out there who are faithful and loving partners. You will survive and flourish!!

˚blessings upon blessings  

Posted on 06/01/2010. Last edited on 07/01/2010.

In response to meditatingmama’s post:
How wonderfully loving and sound advice…

Dear MM, Thanks for sharing your understanding and experience. Jan

In response to jancydat’s post:

It’s something you can only realize how deep it cuts when you have lived and breathed it. The good news is that there is only way… UP!! As Laurie says… Better, better and better!!! :)