★Break free from goals

“[H]ere’s the thing with goals: you’re never satisfied. Goals are a way of saying, ‘When I’ve accomplished this goal (or all these goals), I will be happy then. I’m not happy now, because I haven’t achieved my goals.’”

Quoted from this article on Leo Babauta’s new site mnmlist.com.

I’m glad this way of looking at the world is catching on. I wrote about this on bmindful not long ago and followed it up by quoting a relevant passage from the Book of Serenity not long after.

What are your thoughts?

˚state of wonderful  

Posted on 29/09/2009. Last edited on 30/09/2009.

Recently, I had a circumstance that assisted me in feeling the goal I was working on was not something I could have. While the reasoning had some merit, it didn’t include all of the facts. I allowed the opinion to cause my passion to lessen and lessen.

I went home, and asked myself the important questions.

1. Why do I want this?
2. What will it mean when I achieve this?
3. What else will it do for me, if part of the rationale for wanting it is faulty?

My stress went away, my passion reemerged, and my journey and my goals continued….

In response to laurie- worksout-daily&w/everything she’s got~ ~‘s post:
Sure Laurie sometimes goals are not be achieved but to look within and to introspect so that we can move forward. If a goal is redefined then too the reasons behind it. as you have rightly mentioned, do take us forward in some ways. Sometimes following a goal can take us in the other direction which leads to newer goals and better understanding.

I am in partial agreement with Lee that – break free from goals. We definitely cannot spoil our and our loved ones life for the sake of our goals but going after some of them does add definition to the way we live. Its a way forward.

I think ALL goals should be a part of something bigger – BUT you must have gratitude for the present and be happy in the present first, which is the first step in forming affirmations. Feeling ‘lack’ is a sure fire way to eliminate progress.

Believing that great achievements are possible is great – but there are lots of smaller goals in the road to that overall achievement, and when you achieive the little ones you increase that self worth, positivity that drives you to the next, and the next, and so on….

So perhaps its not that we should ‘break free from goals’ but instead reassess what a goal represents in the course of our lives and the bigger picture…??

˚state of wonderful  

Posted on 30/09/2009.

Here is my affirmation for the day(:
Today I allow myself to have ‘mind like water’ (: and do what I need to do when it needs to be done. I’m in sync with my goals. I trust the process, therefore I let go and be. My journey is as relevant as I allow it to be, and so relevant it is.

I feel the flow of life. I feel my connection to it all, and it is all good.
I am right where I’m supposed to be, and all choices made for reasons I’m aware of and reasons I may never be privy to become part of a wisdom that is shown to me as I need it. I believe this.

And because I believe this, it is my reality. And my understanding my reality could be completely false. Though, since my “goal” on my journey is finding truth, and living my truth -I may always find inconsistency. Though, it is an inconsistency I’m willing to sift through the best I can(:

I’m with Laurie in the importance of goals having to do with what kind of goals they are.

Goals for what we want to do with ourselves are essential to positive change (and I’ll say why I believe that in a moment). Goals about other people doing things or having things happen to us (getting money or some desired object, having other people’s behavior change, etc.) are trickier, although they can be helpful in some cases—not so much for personal growth as for making an impact on the world

The reason that goals for changes within ourselves are important, it seems to me, is that if we want to affect a change—to acquire a good habit, get rid of a bad habit, learn something, begin to interact differently with the world—we need to have a vision of what we want to accomplish: a goal. Without that vision, we can’t plan a path forward, because we don’t have anything to compare our present reality to. For instance, if I want to include more meditation in my life, having a goal of meditating for at least 10 minutes every morning will help me keep on track, whereas just having a general inclination to meditate more will tend to only inspire me erratically and won’t help me develop a habit.

In response to laurie- worksout-daily&w/everything she’s got~ ~‘s post:
Laurie, I love your questioning. I keep forgetting them.

I think I have mixed feelings on this subject, maybe if I tell I can get some feedback. I am terrible at setting goals, I set them and they never seem to turn out as fast as I expect them to. Maybe I do not know exactly how to set a goal. I feel I am missing something because I can not achieve my goals. This does not however make me sad in anyway, just a little disappointed. Is there a way to set you goals that makes them feel more like affirmations instead of goals. Maybe it is the word goal that throws me off. I could use a little guidance in this matter. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

In response to rockswealth’s post:
As I think i and others have said before, I really think that goal setting has to come from a happy, grateful and accepting place of the here and now/present. If they come from a feeling of ‘lack’ then they will never amount to anything.
For example, if its for financial success, its important to be happy, grateful and accepting of the present, and by the law of attaction you desires will reach that stage of achievement, because every little extra is recieved so graciously and gratefully….

I think the little goals before reaching the BIG one, whatever it is, should be celebrated so that you are continually grateful to the universe for the present situation. This in turn brings more of the same.

Sometimes the goals then change, because you appreciate the little things and the saftey, security and happiness you continually multiply means that the goal is reached and IS SO – therefore you are living it NOW. The goal perhaps doesnt change, but your attitude towards it does….. and you start to realise that you are living the dream/goal etc and its not so far beyond your reach. If a goal seems far away in your minds eye, the possibilities are far away too. If you believe them to be true – they are and will be yours.

I hope that made sense (cross referencing different threads here!)

It is absolutely true that the journey is the destination (or how was that saying?).
I believe we are constantly setting goals for everything/anything though. Even learning or paying attention to be aware of the moment and enjoy the journey as such is a goal for itself. In a way we are already setting a goal to get up in the morning and brush our teeth for example.
So I would not hold the goals as such accountable for a general unhappiness.
We need some sort of a goal in order to have a journey, even if it is to sit and let the days pass by.

I have often noticed in people, who are unhappy, or complaining or or or, that it is often in order to make themselves important, for not having recieved a better quality whatever. Or by complaining they are attracting attention, even if it is pitty.

In response to rockswealth’s post:
Hi rockswealth, if it is the word goal that throws you off, maybe you just need to redefine the meaning of ‘goal’ for yourself. Instead of it being something solid, which has to be reached. Just redefine it as something you would like to reach, and if you didn’t, it is allright and there is a better alternative.
Does that make sense?

In response to aftab’s post:
I like that Afi – not putting too much pressure on yourself like you said SOLID – and HAVE to reach. I think all goals can be easily reached if we relax about it a little……80/20 rule perhaps…? (MCM correct me if I’m wrong here.)

I have found a new thing to discuss when it comes to goals. The best way to express how important goals are was put to me like this. With out a goal it is like sitting in a car in the driveway and not going anywhere.

Goals are a must, but can be thought of as declarations rather then goals and when stating them one should use the now and as they are already achieved. When setting goals, be as specific as possible, you are actually telling your life where you want to go. By not setting any declarations/goals you will end up where you are. You do not need to set goals on paper to achieve them, all you need to do is think about them. That is the basic way to achieve them. The more you put into your goals the faster you will achieve them. Michael Cherney uses this little trick when setting goals S.M.A.R.T. S-pecific what you want, M-easurable goal, A-chievable something you can do, R-ealistic make is real, T-ime put a date on it to be achieved. Now I write down my Top 5 goals everyday and have started a Visualization Board for the goals working and achieved. Seems to be working. WooHoo

˚state of wonderful  

Posted on 12/10/2009.

In response to rockswealth’s post:
That’s it rockswealth!
I totally agree w/your SMART direction(:
Here is what I committed to today,that falls under your same direction
Here are some things you may like:
Accomplishing goals faster
Quick list method
Getting Past Obstacles
Fear of Failure
Eat a Frog

˚state of wonderful  

Posted on 22/03/2011.

I am understanding more and more about breaking free from goals concepts..but still strongly believe if you have some specific needs you must set a goal to make it happen.

Here are some basics I found today:
Goals, Who Needs Them? You Do.

by Gary L. Parker

In his book Getting Things Done, Ed Bliss writes, “Good self-management involves finding ways to put pressure on yourself to perform.”
We all need a swift kick once in a while. That’s why thoughtful development of personal goals is so important. It’s a way to put pressure on yourself to perform. Goals provide a motive for better performance.

Successful businesses create goals as a basis for strategic decisions. Without goals, every decision is a crossroads. It’s the same for us. The more clearly we understand our destination, the more likely we’ll take the right path.

4 Keys To Goal Setting

Be Specific. Develop a clear vision of what you want to accomplish. The stronger the vision, the greater the motivation to put forth 100% of your effort and talent.
Write It Down. It’s been said a goal not written down is just a wish. Write goals where you’ll see them often. You can’t do what you can’t remember. And you can’t remember what you can’t find. Write goals in your Planner Pad.
Make It Measurable. When we know our destination, we can measure progress. Set definite time targets. A goal is a result that must be achieved within a particular period of time.
Calculate The Cost. Everything we want to do has a cost. The cost may not be out of pocket. We pay in other ways. Worthwhile goals require your time and effort. Compare costs to benefits carefully. Are you willing to pay the price?

The goal is not something you achieve”
Its something you already are”

It just has to be revealed naturally and without any time predudice’

The reason a lot of people arent satisfied with thier goals is that they are trying to attain them with thier limited intellect and a lot of the time it ends up being someone elses goal that thier unknowingly trying to achieve”

The universal intelligence already knows what you want before you do”
Go deep and I mean really deep and you will find your secret’‘
urban yogi”

˚state of wonderful  

Posted on 22/03/2011. Last edited on 23/03/2011.

In response to Urban Yogi’s post:
I believe I hear what you are saying..and believe I get it..Because experience is not something we can compartmentalize well in words..while I always have much to learn..I have experienced knowing I am the Victory of my experience. Would you say that is a bit of what you are saying?

Absolutely Laurie”
Our destiny is unconcious until such a time that we plugg in to the mainframe of the “universal cosmic mind”
So the question is.Are you plugged in? lol’‘

UY

Simplify ~ that is my key word these days and the way I look at things. So in my simple mind I simply see a goal as just that a goal.

Look at it as a sport. In this great big arena of the universe , in this game called life , each time I reach a goal I score one for the home team.

That is me. My family. Or if a project at work , then my company.

Sometimes I get tackled by another player, circumstance etc. but I get up , change the play and continue toward the goal.

A goal is a short term achievement , added all together , we’re on our way to the championship. having met minor goals we can reach the long term goal.

Goals can also be like chapters in books. I’ve read all of volume I II & III and am now on IV.

Goals should not hinder us nor should we feel the need to break free from them. They should be something that inspires us to continue to move forward. Make progress. Score one for the home team.

thank you DorothyMarie ,your words here are just what i needed this morning .I used to play hockey and netball for the school teams – being 5ft 7 ins and mostly legs was an advantage – and your post reminded me of that determination to play well and help my team either win or at least lose after we played our best .Once i got that ball i was 100%focused .

Did i listen to folks saying do it this way do it that way – did i eck – i knew how to play and i believed in myself ,i could run fast,i wasnt afraid of being tackled,i was determined ,i scored.

Right bring that up to date – im a floppy jellyfish in my life at present – before i was a dolphin – time to focus on my goals and start swimming – think i needed to be a jellyfish for a while in the healing space of just being .

love flowergirl

What a wonderful way of explaining it, DorothyMarie. You have a gift there. I agree with your explanation and plan on using it myself. Thank you!

I think our culture is obsessed with goals.
It’s true. We do look at them as conditions to our happiness and we shouldn’t.
And what’s worse, our culture typically punishes people for not meeting goals. There is a belief among Buddhists that desire is a source of suffering. But even the Dalai Lama says there are positive desires. The desire to be happy. The desire to nurture compassion in one’s heart. And if we find we are withholding happiness from ourselves, I think that is unhealthy. Some people say that they benefit from “trying easy.” They don’t put unhealthy stress on their achievements by saying “I must give 110 percent in this task.” They relax their efforts and say, “I will just give 95 percent.” And they do better by taking the pressure off! Goals can be good, but too often we just burden ourselves with too many or the wrong goals. A couple of years ago I entered the National Novel Writing Month event. I had to write 50,000 words in one month. It was hard. I did it but the following year I entered a different writing event. I could set a lower goal for myself. I wrote 30,000 words in a month and I like my writing a lot better.

˚state of wonderful  

Posted on 30/03/2016.

Wow, is this an old thread thanks for bringing it up(:

Would love to see everything it was saying back then…and see what we were all trying to say(:

In response to Lee’s post:

Lee made me laugh in this post. It would be great to have this conversation today. It was fun trying to share from our experience, and sometimes saying such similar things…and not knowing it. It helped us so much seeing what we thought & felt… These were great(:

• ~ just reread some of the banter…wow! I there is some wonderful inspiration generated here(: looking forward even more in returning(: