Here’s how to practice C.A.R.E. [excerpt] blog article in full
Catch
Notice when you’re engaging in self-criticism.
I skipped my exercise class again. I’m so lazy, it’s no wonder I can’t lose weight.
It’s worth it to take a moment when you’re calm (now, for example) to think of some of the triggers that tend to take you down the path of self-criticism. Note a few of them to make it easier to remember to replace self-criticism with C.A.R.E. — right when the process begins.
Acknowledge
Recognize the pain that the self-criticism is causing. See if there’s a physical sensation associated with the emotional sting. Try not to resist it; just allow it and send it compassion.
It hurts when I talk to myself like that. I can feel it here in my chest. That’s where I’ll send compassionate thoughts.
When we feel bad, we really do need to acknowledge and soothe the pain before we’re able to feel better. And locating a physical manifestation of the feeling can help us to do just that.
Request
Speak gently to your self-critic and ask it to stop the criticism.
I know you’re trying to help, but you’re not actually helping, and you are causing me unnecessary pain. Please stop being so self-critical.
Yes, I know it’s sort of hard to picture saying this to yourself, but it really is an important step. After all, our inner critics talk to us all the time; we can talk to them, too. But why do we need to speak to them gently? Well, it turns out that arguing with our inner critics actually tends to reinforce their critical messages. And in a sense they are trying to help, however misguided their approach may be. So give it a try; just tell your inner critic you appreciate the effort but it isn’t helping, so please let it go.
Encourage
Replace the critical self-talk with supportive self-talk, such as a wise and caring friend might offer.
The habit of self-criticism often leads us to simply abandon our goals in pain and frustration. But self-compassion gives us the opportunity to soothe our pain and keep on track toward our goals by reminding us that we still deserve to create the kinds of lives we really want to live, and encouraging us — imperfections and all — to keep moving in the direction we want to go.
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I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions,
Sensations ,
& Feelings