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★Page1. Relationships Are a Wonderful Part of Life

Most of us, when we are out of time on Earth, will not say we wished we spent more time at the office. Life is about love; enough love for self to engage in healthy relationships with others.

Whether it be your spouse,life partner, long term or just for now companion-> healthy relationships are a vital addition to a wonderful life.

All relationships need to be nurtured. Like plants most die without proper attention.

While I have been married to my hubby for more than 1/2 of my life, nothing is ever taken for granted. We start each day fresh, and with respect for ourselves and one another. I have so much gratitude for that.

Nothing happens all by itself. What do you actively do in your mind, and behaviorally to keep your best relationships (all kinds),growing and close at heart?

Thanks for the reminder on nurturing relationships. I just wrote a long email to my friend who is currently in the states looking to her mother in low, instead of short SMSs.

…what a wonderful world….

In response to aftab’s post:
Yes, I agree, Afi, all relationships need nurturing; some not so much, and some a bit more.

I’ve been trying to think about those who live across the miles (friends and some family), and how to keep it simple but begin, real handwritten notes. It feels difficult sometimes, though if bmindful and I have been “pen-pals”, I’m sure I can with others, before I know this community more and better, than people I’ve known in person living in other areas(:

added this in 2012 came from Livestrong:

“ Characteristics of a Healthy Intimate Relationship
The goal in an intimate relationship is to feel calm, centered and focused. The intimacy needs to be safe, supportive, respectful, nonpunitive and peaceful. You feel taken care of, wanted, unconditionally accepted and loved just for existing and being alive in a healthy intimate relationship. You feel part of something and not alone in such a relationship. You experience forgiving and being forgiven with little revenge or reminding of past offenses. You find yourself giving thanks for just being alive in this relationship. A healthy intimate relationship has a sense of directedness with plan and order. You experience being free to be who you are rather than who you think you need to be for the other. This relationship makes you free from the “paralysis of analysis” needing to analyze every minute detail of what goes on in it. An intimate relationship has its priorities in order, with people’s feelings and process of the relationship coming before things and money. A healthy intimate relationship encourages your personal growth and supports your individuality. This relationship does not result in you or your relationship partner becoming emotionally, physically or intellectually dependent on one another. An intimate relationship encourages the spiritual growth of both relationship partners and makes room for God in the relationship as a partner and friend”

 

 

original post from 2009

Focus Changes When You Have a Partner- Now 3 Areas to Consider For example a good marriage, that you want to last a long time, is a partnership that has a way of changing ones priorities, because it is no longer just about you, it becomes 3 ongoing perspectives; your own, theirs, and the perspective for the relationship. So needless to say, focus has brand new meaning, when you’re in a relationship.

I married before I graduated college, and while I have no regrets, I would strongly advise parents to tell their children to not marry until they’ve completed formal education. Mine probably did, but what young person thinks a parent understands these things? (smiles) And btw, don’t listen to, “I’m almost finished school” (smiles)

When I was in my dating life, I had fun. Though when, I met my hubby we were ‘only’ supposed to be best friends. Something that drew me to him as a friend soon became something I realized was more valuable than anything I saw in relationships where the most important thing you can remember was the attraction and a few catch phrases about interests. Something was so real; we were in it for the long haul for ourselves and one another. Bottom line, the person who knows me (and respects me) the most is my husband. And while many wonderful people pass through my world, and have shared a kind comment here and there, it’s been my husband who has proded me with decades of a soulful constant. Thank you God for this very special relationship.

 and together. We live for ourselves and come together comfortably.

This morning, he was doing what he enjoyed and I ventured off into areas that I enjoy spending time. We then had a productive conversation about time and money, and goals and communicated where we’d both like involvement from one another.

 

That is such a sweet story. My mom and dad were married for 33 years before she passed away. It is a very long time to share with someone. Although I was very young, I could tell it was a shock for my dad to lose his best friend (and more importantly the mother of his seven children).

I would offer the same advice for youngsters…GET YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION COMPLETED FIRST!!!!!!! It is very tough once you are married and even tougher once the babies come along. I can remember my children holding on to my ankles begging and crying for me to stay home and skip school. It’s TOUGH!!

Marriage is such a give and take – compromise – not for the self-centered or faint of heart!! It takes maturity to succeed for sure. If you don’t each have your independence in the relationship, someone will definitely suffer.

Anyway, I am happy to ready your story. Thank you for sharing!!

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

As you know recently I left a negative relationship. Respect is the most important part of a relationship. Right now I have a friend who is very conscious about others. He calls to see how everyone is doing and what is happening in his world. It’s the first time I have met someone who is so caring. You are right Laurie we have to nurture all our relationships.

My nephew has given problems in the past and for good reasons but he is doing his best to survive. His mother is the one who has been in critical condition. He still needs love because his acting out is a plea for help. On the other hand he is so loving to most of the family. There at times I want to let it go, but what if it had been me in the same place? My older brother sat down and said to me, “he is in a bad place and we cannot abandon him.

My brother is a pillar of strength but needs nurturing too. He helped my mom almost all his life until her passing. He was there for me when I almost died. He needs love too.

My son who is so brillant brings me so many hours of happiness has been a bright light in my life. He is such a happy person and always looks at things in a positive point of view. He is so focused on everything he wants to do and has completed all of his goals. We have had very little money and on his own won a tournament in video games something I thought was a waste of time. The U.S. vs Japan and he won! He on his own went to Japan to compete. Fearful but went anyway and came home so happy.

As of now there is no soulmate husband. Right now I have friends who care just like the ones here on bmind. Each and everyone of you are special to me. So I want you all to know that your are like family. Everyone with there own personality and a group of unkonwn people who have been kind enough to reach out and help other people they don’t even know. THAT IS LIVING PROOF TO ME THAT THERE ARE ANGELS.

Love and hugs to you all,
Mary

As I was reading this, I wanted to point out that one of the most important relationships that need constant nurturing is the relationship you have with yourself. If you have low self-esteem or other perceived problems with yourself, it is hard to feel worthy of relationships with others.

Sometimes, we are lead to believe that to take care of yourself is selfish. However, how can we effectively take care of others when we are lacking?

This is an area I struggle with because I have five children, a husband, animals, a business, college classes, and on and on. Lots of excuses…

It is important to nurture yourself with good self-care. Most of it comes free… decent sleep, peaceful moments, LOVING SELF TALK (!!)… but also, pure water, healthy organic food, consistent exercise…

My 2 Cents… Peace 2 All

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

In response to meditatingmama’s post:
Yes MM! So true. I have been struggling with this a bit as of late and it has affected my relationship with my fiancee.
I am being mindful today to nurture the relationship I have with self…..

RELEASE fear of inadequacy
The last quote I posted on the release thread – it just popped into my head!!
Its so great how this site gets my head on the straight and narrow.

A full and thankful heart..

This is where I am at as of the late – inregards to wanting relationships – I have been doing alot of sole searching as to whether to have just guys as friends or as a partner, and I decided I am not ready for anything to do with guys for a very long time. After coming out of an abusive relationship, guys are to be kept at a distance.

Its my time for me and only me. I want the journey that I am on to be of no distractions, no complications, I cant work on myself and my kids when I am focusing on relationships with guys… I want my hurts to be healed, I want to be ready and secure within myself before I am able to give to another.

The relationship for the future will be with someone who doesnt need rescuing, someone who is strong within themselves, able to take responsibility for their own needs, wants and desires, someone who takes responsibility for their own words and actions, one who is stable and secure within themselves.

I am unable to look after another where they are not willing to look after themselves, I cant do it. Kids and I are my focus, we as a family are my priority.

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

In response to Pure Essence’s post:
So your relationships are your children and focusing on yourself with love?

Sounds good to me(:

In response to laurie- worksout-daily&w/everything she’s got~ ~‘s post:

Thankyou Laurie, so right indeed :-) My relationship with my children is at the best it has ever been, we are sound, strong, secure and completely happy, for another to come into our life as a friend or partner wont work for us, things will get out of focus and out of control…We happy so very happy we away from complications

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

That is a good idea PE. Every time my husband leaves town on business, it is the perfect time to focus on myself and the kids. We usually bond and do lots of things we just don’t do when daddy is home… like “Reverse Day” where we eat breakfast at dinner time… or, since my husband is the athletic hiker… when we go to the part, we take paper & pencils and draw the scenery as opposed to doing the trails …

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

In response to Pure Essence’s post:

It is so true P.E. that is exactly where I’m at. Recently my son has talked me into going to the beach. We have a lot of fun and when I come home I am so relaxed. We love to laugh and tell jokes and listen to oldies. For all that I have been through I am so grateful to God/Creator for my son.

Peace,
Mary

In response to godscreation’s post:

I am so happy for you Mary!!! ((big cuddle)) I sense you smiling as you write, I feel your warmth, you are where you are purposed to be, with your son enjoying eachother company and been free xxx Much love Dee

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a truly relavant thread for me at the moment. In my life I have had wonderful relationships, in fact I can say that I have been lucky. But to share a secret these successful relationships have not taught me as much as those that have been difficult. Its the tough ones that have taught me my most important lessons in life. These very lessons have made the successful relationships a success.
For me the most treasured relationship is with my husband, not because we are wedded together and love each other but because he is truly a great soul who has taught me so much about life and life’s order. All that I have been learning in the various books I read in connection with Buddhism, Soul searching etc. he has already applied it in his life long time ago…..or may be he was born with these learnings. Its my greatest fortune to be living with a man who can so delicately balance virtues of the soul,spirituality and a demanding social responsibility.
A life can be truly made if each one of us can get the good fortune of learning from an enligtened soul. Just observing these souls operate in this mad world is such a learning experience—its pure bliss.
The most important lesson in handling all the realtionships is to —-let it go, free the person. In freedom the relationship grows as if being personally nurtured by the Gods…..

We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon.

What a nice comment, Sonia. I agree with you. Some of my best learning and growth as a soul having a human being experience is from those who gave me the most grief and trouble. At the time, I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) see the lessons. Only time and the wisdom that comes with aging has enlightened me on these experiences.

Some of these lessons I am still struggling to come to grips with and I need to just LET GO!! I see the good that has come with the passage of time, but I need to let go of the animosity that I still harbor. GRRRRRR…. Once I truly let go (and not just with lip service) I will truly experience the growth I need to.

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

In response to Monkey's post:

so true!

 

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