Hi every one. I am seeking to improve my outlook about myself and move out of the dark night of the soul and fear. I notice that when I use affirmations …I don’t believe what I hear. Is this normal and will it go away after constant repetition. I desire to connect with my TRUE SELF. . Any assistance and support is appreciated. Thanks Bruce
First off, thank you for supporting bmindful! It means a lot to me when people give back in this way. I hope you’re enjoying the few little things you’ve opened up by upgrading.
With regards do your questions. It’s hard to say too much about your affirmations, as it doesn’t look like you’ve added any on your profile. Generally speaking, I wouldn’t recommend using wildly unbelievable affirmations though. Other people have other ideas, but for me, if you are finding affirming that you are in touch with true self to be unbelievable, try affirming that every day you will practice connecting with your true self.
It’s worth asking this question too, who is your true self? The answer isn’t something you can simply write out on a message board. Don’t say (for example) you’re a banker, a father, a son or a brother. Give yourself some space and find out. Don’t hold on to any fixed idea, let go and see what’s there.
“How easy it is in our life, to miss what’s being offered.” — Paul Haller
I understand what you are saying. If you are saying something that is not true you conscious mind sort of goes on alert and says, “hey, wait a minute, that isn’t true”. It can be hard sometimes, but it is important to come up with affirmations that feel right. If you are five feet tall, no amount of affirmation is going to make you six feet tall. But, what if you weigh three hundred pounds? Unless you are a seven foot tall football player, then this is probably not a healthy weight. Your conscious mind is going to reject a statement that says “I am slender and healthy”. So, what do you do? Well, you can create an affirmation that addresses this problem that your conscious mind won’t reject. Begin an exercise routine and use an affirmation like “I exercise regularly”. Picture yourself doing the thing you need to do to get the result you are after. As your new habit becomes more of a real habit you can refine your affirmation better reflect your current reality and goals.
I just read a book by Esther Hicks who channels Abraham. I think the book was called OUR AMAZING EMOTIONS... in it she said to start with something you could believe and then slowly change until you could identify with the feelings… affirmations are based on emotions and if you can’t beleive it, they won’t work…
another thing she said that really resonates with me is that “nothing I want is upstream” if you are feeling off then you are probably paddling up stream… try to say something to yourself that will make you feel better… the goal is to go with the flow which will carry you downstream to all you goals and dreams…
i wish you all the best Bruce…
Hello again Bruce..you mentioned getting in touch with your true self..not sure if you will enjoy it as I do..but you might find some great exercises on Kahuna Keiths site. (:
Best to you..and chat soon(:
I really understand what you are talking about and I agree with what everyone has told you here. So you know where I am coming from, the following is what is in my profile:
I used to be a very negative and depressive person. I believed all of the crap that I was told as a child. Truly, I had to wear waders every day to get through the mire in my mind. It was exhausting. Then I read a book that explained to me how to tell myself the truth and now I love and live by affirmations. Now I have very few bad days and when I do, I often recognize them for what they are and start focusing on my affirmations. Now people gravitate toward me because they know they will feel better after we talk. In the past, they avoided me and my negativity because they knew I would be a drain on their energy. I feel much better in my own skin now even though physically I was much more beautiful back then. I wouldn’t go back to that place for all of the physical beauty in the world.
So, here is what I did. First I started to pay attention to what my mind was telling me. This could be anything from you are no good to I hate you and many things in between. These are normally told to us in our childhood and they are lies.
Next, we have to begin to tear apart those lies by recognizing them for what they are. An example I like to use is “if x happens, I will die of embarrassment.” It’s absurd, right? When you tear it apart you have to ask yourself, has anyone ever really died of embarrassment. You can Google it and find it untrue. Have you ever been watching a program on at 10pm where the news teaser came on and said “woman dies of embarrassment, news at 11?” Nah! I realize that the other thoughts are a bit more difficult to tear apart but they are really just as absurd.
Next, replace the negative thought with a positive one. If you just get rid of the negative thought without replacing it with something it will create a vacuum and that vacuum will likely attract another negative thought. So replace it with a positive thought. For instance, if your negtive thought is that you are no good, you could replace it with an affirmation like “I am a child of god and god only creates good things. Studies show that habits take about 28 days of consistant behaviour to change, so expect your affirmation to take about this long to take root. Also, note the words consistant behavior.
Then move on to maintenance. You must do all of these things on a daily basis in order to maintain the progress you have made. But don’t worry, it becomes a habit and that makes it easier. Think of it as mind hygiene and do it like you brush your teeth. Do all three steps at least twice a day and as you notice you need to. Trust me, the benefits are worth the effort.
In response to Morgandy’s post:
In response to Bruce Royer’s post:
Hello Bruce. I’m not sure if this will be helpful to you..but hopin’ it helps a bit…I found an explanation I had written to a member as to why I write my wordy Prayerful Affirmations..(I will tell you as redundant and wordy as they sound, they have been a major tool in my life.
sorry i did not catch your name with all the help u had given me when i first joined too, so sorry for that. obviously u know my name is actually Jan :)
i just wanted to tell u that Link u posted for that web site oh goodness i forget the name now?
oh YEA GOOD I got it now it was called:
““lifemanagementmentalalliance”“ something like that rihgt. well i just felt compelled to post to u how much i am getting from that site. I have gone through almost the whole site and it is huge with lots and lots of useful tools to get well. I ordered so many books and i got them from amazon. some anyways, so i didnt pay an arm and a leg for each of them. I bought about 4-5 all about self esteem and assertiveness, physically healthy well being. anyways i am sure u got the drift now.
thanks u are a very kind supportive person !! :) BIG SMILEYS
I hope u are having a peaceful day hon lol janymak
support group / 4 any mental health,sharing coping strategies &learning through each others experiences :):) Family&Friends also Welcome :) :) LOLAH
In response to janymak’s post:
Hi Jan..It does look like life management mental alliance.
But it is actually called Life Management Alliance. Yes, I agree that site is a tremendous resource!
And very glad the link/site was so helpful to you(: