positive energy

hi folks , i just sent this as a pm and then realised i can share it .

I have a housing officer visiting tomorow morning at her request and the hospice charity shop are collecting stuff from me tommorow too so very busy day today .

Not sure if one of neighbours has reported me for house being scruffy and having lots of pets – she is not a very kind lady – so i feel rather aprehensive but my freind advised me to tell her honestly what the last years have been like ,depression,illness,bereavement,my daughter being so ill and then she might help us move especially when she sees our dining room is a bedroom as my sons are 23 and 18 and need their own privacy .

On saturday my freinds helped me clear garden and i blitzed the shed ,2 car loads to the tip and we had a bonfire going all day – it was a fantastic feeling to get rid of so much junk – like taking off a very heavy rucksack and coat

i need that same energy today to do my bedroom as its full of clutter ,then get stuff ready for collection ,bunnies out into the shed ,so im doing lots of positive talk to myself .

For everything i give away the hospice can make money to help the lives of people while they are there ,even £1 from a vase will buy a bunch of daffodils .

time to make a cuppa and get started ,love flowergirl

love flowergirl

ooooh feeling overwhelmed here ,so much to do before tomorow ,keep finding things of mums so its emotional too .

i can do this

love flowergirl -wilting at the moment

In response to flowergirl’s post:
Beyond proud of you. I send prayers for the results you need(:

Starting it the key.

I understand about the sentimentality.

I find that I have this path I take when cleaning especially clutter. If it is something I want to keep and I use it everyday it has a proper place.

If I want to keep it and only use it occasionally it has a proper place.

If I don’t use it but am not ready to part with it it goes in the basement.

When the basement begins to get too cluttered, I clean the basement.

If I find something I haven’t used in 3 years or forgot I had, it simply goes.

I hope for you after you have completed the task at hand , SERENITY.

thanks folks ,i realised i was trying to achieve as much on my own in the house yesterday as i did on saturday in the garden when there was 5 of us so i asked housing officer and hospice for new aptts .

Now steadily working through – starting is the biggest hurdle and im over that now .

Its probably just as well we dont have a basement or a spare room , i would keep too much ,i have every drawing/card my kids have made me in boxes – a loving way to treasure them is to keep a few and make collages/scrapbooks that i look at and cherish .

Carrying on today ,im on a roll now ,its like a miracle after such a long time in the prison of depression ,love flowergirl

Wow! You are such an inspiration to many. Keep up the great work and keep loving you because I believe that is what you have started…loving yourself and that is so hard for many of us to do. Me included. Thank you for sharing =)

In response to mkyunker’s post:
I so agree! Thanks flowergirl for the charge..to keep on going..w/everything

aw thanks for being so kind .Loving myself is one of my biggest challenges but i’m trying ,it shocks me when i tune into my self talk – im awful to myself at times , i try to think im talking to my inner child – little flowergirl in a pretty smock dress with flowers in her hair running through a meadow with a smile on her little face .

I hope you can find ways to love yourself ,start with tiny steps .love flowergirl

How does the saying go? “We always hurt the ones closest to us?” Can’t get much closer than ourselves.

Sounds like you have great tools and fabulous ideas. =)

I went from having one to two good days a week to having four and five. When I crash, I crash hard but I recover oh so much faster, and for that, I am very thankful!

thanks mkyunker i have never looked at it like that ,wasnt there a song called “you always hurt the one you love “ .
Instead of seeing my loved ones as a circle of kids,mum,dad,grannies etc and me looking at it from the outside ,i have taken a step forwards and im in the circle and my little inner flowergirl is dancing for joy

This feeling i have had of physical,mental and spiritual isolation is falling away ,a lot of it is due to a barrier i put up myself as my way of coping .The universe is sending so many messages in my thoughts,in the people i meet ,my conciousness is awakening from a long time out .

Yesterday i went to a nearby town for a plastic set of storage drawers ,i got one in our town but they only had dark green or burgundy left and i was after 2 pink ones .
As i was there an hour before shops opened i went and had a cup of earl grey tea in a lovely coffee shop – a real treat – and then walked around and found a lovely shop selling all hippie,new age beautifull things so i decided i would go back at 9 am when the shops open .Went back at 9 ish and it was shut so i wandered round charity shops and decided before i went for storage drawers i would have one last look at this shop .Yes it was open and i was talking for a long time to the lady who owns it ,she was so kind and helpfull with suggestions for our home and telling me about hers ,her partner died 12 months ago and she is coming out of the isolation stage .As i make this house back into a home im taking pictures and said i will bring them in to show her .Now if i hadnt started clutter clearing ,i wouldnt have gone for these drawers and wouldnt have found her shop .

Bought a little angel for my pen freind,a lovely suncatcher which says
p
e
a
c
e

a wind chime with lovely bells ,2 wool freindship bracelets with tiny peace signs – my daughter and i love them and often give them to each other .

This lovely lady felt like a kindred spirit and im going to make a thank you card for her .She has helped me take another step forwards in my house – home journey .

I can feel some really deep changes going on inside and am open to everything ,love flowergirl