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my inner child

I struggled for years trying to visualise and care for my inner child as i thought it had to myself as a little girl and for some reason found that so hard ,i was a very happy little girl with loving parents and funfreinds .
Then i pictured this little flowerchild – she has long hair wears a long dress covered in litle flowers and has a daisy chain bracelet,flowers in her hair and is dancing around in a field of long grass .When i picture my mini me i can see ways to take care of her ,she would love a walk with the dog instead of seeing me sitting here feeling so down so thats what we are going to do .

In response to flowergirl’s post:
Thanks for this image flowergirl. You have made me think about this. Who is my inner child? Do I ignore her – very possibly.
I have never truly tried to embrace her, so perhaps I have forgotten her. And if I have, are there aspects of my present self harder to cope with than necessary, because of it?

This is a subject that I am a little baffled by. I hope our regulars will come and share about the benefits of caring for the inner child, as I would love to know how this affects the present.

My present difficulties with my sister in law and her unkind behaviour towards me could well be because of my long and on-going battle as a child of feeling ‘less than’. Although I do not feel ‘less than’ today (or dont think I do)- perhaps not paying attention to my inner child is allowing this to manifest again – it certainly seems like it….I have allowed myself to be the underdog too many times in my life…is this the inner child telling me something???

A full and thankful heart..

In response to anoushka’s post:
hi anoushka ,i struggled so long with this and then one day i just visualised this little girl and i thought – thats my little inner child – she isn’t me as a child but she is this little part of me that needs lots of t l c and whatever i do affects her ,if i’m sad she is sad – if i eat junk i’m feeding her junk .
For me at the moment caring for myself is a struggle but caring for this little one dancing like a fairy brings out compassion for this little part of me .I have to keep it very simple as my brain is like a marshmallow but by doing this i can look at myself kindly .
Good luck with this and have fun with her ,im going to make a cottagy type rag doll with her name on and sit her on my rocking chair .
I’m sure everyone else will help you more with this but i think the lesson i have learnt is to love that little person inside as a start to loving yourself .P S ,just back from a little dog walk ,usually be in my p j s ,feeling weepy and despairing .Today i feel hope and am smiling ,have a happy dog and todays a new start .Look for your little one – she or he is waiting for you ,lots of love flowergirl

In response to flowergirl’s post:
LOL – I love that image ‘brain like a marshmallow!’

I will look out for my little one and try to listen.
I think past, self destructive behaviour may have damaged her. As I try to exercise self-love more proactively today, I hope I am subconsciously looking after her better, though she probably needs to be re-educated on self-worth and I need to offer her more reassurance today because of lack of reassurance she had in the past….
I am so taken by this subject – as its occurred to me that this is the root of all old behaviour.

Inner child = learned behaviour?

I know one thing though, positive self-love does create wonderful manifestations to your external circumstances – increased respect (or the desired respect and treatment) from others not to mention improved health and well being. If the inner child is nothing more than a symbol of your inner self/subconscious – to nurture is to self preserve, protect and care for, which can only be a good thing right??

A full and thankful heart..

inner child

Some threads which mention inner child

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:
Wow there’s a whole world of inner child reading to catch up on. I will put my head down for a while and catch up.

A full and thankful heart..

The following is a thread I had started. I feel questions to ourselves should be directed to our real self (inner child):

We are constantly asking ourselves questions..Some questions are more meaningful than others..Yet we attempt to answer every question we ask..Sometimes lengthy or short…and sometimes intermittent and never ending. Sometimes we answer our questions with more questions, or frustration, or irritation or a smile of approval.

What are questions you ask of yourself and rate these questions with their productiveness to your wellbeing?

And are you kind to you with your manner of asking yourself questions, or are you a nasty drill sargent who has an unreasonable agenda without concern for your inner person inside? Do you stay in contact with that inner child?

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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I have shared many places on the threads the value I place on connecting with your inner lil’ one.

I do this throughout my day. It is part of what keeps me moving forward and staying joyous.

Even when your inner child isn’t feeling/doing/being in the ‘perfect’ place..it’s still the perfect place when you connect and care for different parts of you (many different selves, many different ages can be sought out)

When you are at work, and you become that human-doin phase versus the human being as multi tasking increased beyond your permission to yourself..I reconnect to myself, and affirm that ‘we’ are in the flow and right where we are supposed to be. My days I have off, are great ..but I don’t want life to only be about in anticipation of them. so I think of wonderful ways to connect to me, through some tasks that would’ve been mundane, chaotic, stressful or just simply without my presence.

The connection feels very spiritual;like the way it is supposed to be. After utilizing tools such as these, my prayers and meditation seem more fulfilling also.

I got my hubby doing this years ago…and he thought he was strange, because he connected to many selves of his (different ages)..That was great, because we have different times of where we we’ve been we connect with…not always same age.

If I’m not sure of the age, I do a visualization of a classroom of Lil Laurie’s all receiving guidance and love as I re-parent them with todays new hindsight lesson, showing I never forget any part of me.

  • Most of the time, it is one general lil’ Laurie, who is just the me that is involved with a feeling..

When I connect, I see if that feeling is holding my activities of the moment back. I always show myself I am there, even though it looks like I’m here.

Sometimes we have to redirect a spoiled part of ourself that only wants to have fun, or be disconnected from important things..If that is the case I make life more fun, be more present in what we have to do, or negotiate a win win(:

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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My inner child is petulant and extremely anxious. Over the years i have tried to several times to calm down and try to picture what in this world is worrying him so much.

His fear of math troubles me to this day. When I start something new I hear in my head a voice cry “we don’t want to do this, its not nice”.

I’ve stopped yelling at the voice it was making my voice hoarse. Now the voice lingers as an uncomfortable sensation somewhere on my body.

Folks tell me this, are you sure its an inner child and not something else thats playing with us using the guise of an innocent child?

In response to cleric’s post:

What a wonderful job you’ve done looking at yourself and asking questions.

If you need math skills for something important and you feel you ‘should’ know it,and feel humiliated when someone finds out what you don’t know, your inner child needs you very much.

I sent a special friend a letter for their inner child..I wanted their permission because I wrote it for them. I don’t think that person will mind if I send it to you too. I’ll copy it for you, and then we’ll get to the math.

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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In response to cleric’s post:
In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:
Dear lil’ one:
Did I tell you today how much I love you? You are my highest priority. I want to thank you in advance for letting me connect with you all of the time; you mean the world to me. If I’ve ignored you I apologize. It’s a hindsight that I won’t let happen again. What other people think of us is none of our business. I’m here to love you and that’s what matters. When you are hungry -I will feed you the most delicious healthy foods. When you are tired, I will let you rest. When I can’t let you do what you want to do when you want to do it, I will always listen to you, and work things out with you. We will be quite the team, you and I..happy joyous and free forever. We will take our prayers to God togerher, You can trust me, I’m here.
Much Love and not going anywhere,
signed your name

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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Aww that’s really touching.

Yes little Julie, I want to become your best friend and we will both have a close relationship with God, because God love’s us as one and no one can ever seperate us again!

This may help those who want to discover if inner child work is something helpful or not

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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In my opinion inner child work is cool for anyone, it’s simply wonderful self-chat.
Though, I found this quiz..to show who might get significant assistance with good inner child work-or reparenting.
————————————-
Signs in adulthood that you need to re-parent yourself
The following is a symptoms checklist. Put a check next to the items that are mostly true for you at this time in your life. 2 or more would suggest some work with your lil one(:

___ 1. Lacking in self-confidence in interpersonal relationships at home, work, socially and in the community.

___ 2. Inability to believe you deserve good things in life.

___ 3. Feelings of shame about your past.

___ 4. Feelings of guilt about your past.

___ 5. Inability to have self forgiveness for all of your real or perceived faults, mistakes, or failures in the past.

___ 6. Inability to affirm or say nice things to or about yourself.

___ 7. Dependence on others to approve you.

___ 8. Fear of rejection from others.

___ 9. Desire to be invisible so that others don’t know what you are thinking, how you feel or what you are doing.

___ 10. Need to please others.

___ 11. Need to avoid conflict at all costs.

___ 12. Waiting for or wanting someone to nurture and care for you to make up for the absence of nurturance in your past life.

___ 13. Unwillingness to accept that the solutions to your problems are your responsibility.

___ 14. Not capable of exercising self-control over all aspects of your life.

___ 15. Excessive use of manipulation to get others to do what you want them to do for you.

___ 16. Excessive hostility, bitterness, sarcasm and cynicism about life and how it has treated you.

___ 17. Extreme pessimism about your ability to do what it takes to recover from low self-esteem.

___ 18. Pent-up anger, rage and hatred against the people in your past life who have abused or neglected you.

___ 19. Lack of clear direction and clarity of goals in your life.

___ 20. Not sure of who you really are.

If you have checked two or more, you are in need of re-parenting work.

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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I know this thread is all about inner child..but sometimes..we get caught up in the why’s, or is new self talk necessary..

I really like this from Anthony Robbins

Hope you do too..It is 22 minutes and 30 seconds..
Watch part or all..(:
Lots of high energy and wonderful moments which trigger your best thinking and good feelings(:

Love you guys, Laurie

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:
Just wanted to pick up on no.18 – pent up anger from past lives.
I recently spent some time with my Aunt who does SRT (spiritual response therapy) which aims to clear all negativities from past lives….

Perhaps this deserves a separate thread?
Anyone have any thoughts on this, if so I would really appreciate some insight. As I get clearer in my quest to positive self-talk to my inner child and my present self, I feel that focussing on the negativities of the past is almost like finding reasons for negativities in self today – which to me seems pointless as we want to start fresh and regain control of our present and future, not look for reasons/excuses to be the way we are….??
I agree that clearing the past allows for this – but I worry that placing too much emphasis on those negativities is a bad thing. Anyone agree?
Surely speaking kindly to our inner child today should eventually correct the mistakes of yesterday??

A full and thankful heart..

In response to anoushka’s post:
I can only give an off the cuff feelings/thoughts on your post.

When I think of #18, it simply made me think of the past (ex. mixed messages from this life time).

Though, following your response further and “the what difference does it make where the negativities come from?”-mode -> I have to agree with you.

I find as I get older answers come ..from simply doing the next right thing.

We all have “original pain” and ‘original confusion’ issues because families didn’t come with rule books. And I think because I realized this early on, I never got very angry with others, as I did turning it inward, and checking myself out. I’ve received criticism for that..but I never cared, because it led me to forgiveness of myself and others a lot “quicker”.

I ended up “seeing” who only knew what they knew, and if it wasn’t for the imperfections of the past, I wouldn’t have made many of the wonderful decisions or had the more ‘involved experiences’ that I had.

Life has been filled with learning experiences and hindsight thoughts/conclusions/info/data/new stuff

And that’s ok..

To live, is to be .. wherever you are..wherever you end up, and to do the best with what you have.

How can I feel bad about how I was at any given time?
..I used what I knew..
Trust me..(: I have had experiences that didn’t always feel good..Though it was what it was…to get me to my ‘infamous today’ with a journey that teaches..continues to teach(:

I’ve had sadness, misgivings, anger at circumstances more than people..but yes with people too (though short lived) It always seemed fruitless, after awhile. I thank God for that lesson(:

How can I have anger at others who continued a behavior that wasn’t good for me?

I was never made to do anything..I have had choices for a life time..
Even when I was a child..I had choices..Only because my experience was truly limited like any child, my choices were limited.

I learned from my limitations.

How can I be angry at those who couldn’t deliver healthy behavior when I was a child-> like you basically said..spilled milk.. done ..past.
I’m here now..with more understanding..MORE CHOICES.

While always seeking a personal truth, and desiring to treat others the way I’d like to be treated, and forgiving myself and others at every possible opportunity for “imperfections”, I am able to live a life without regret and with more gratitude..and joy.

Of course, if others are ‘nasty’ individuals I know not to carry on needless conversations with them. I do take into consideration alot of nasty people are just hurt people…

I try to live my life with love..Love to me. Lots of love to me. Inner child has confusing connotations to it..

So to be more clear, when I speak to me, it is the warmth one would speak to an innocent child. It is the joy that one has when seeing an innocent child. It is the motivation that one has when trying to get that innocent
child to do what they need to do when they need to it..because it will serve them well.

I don’t have to know every double-message I rec’d as a child..

My lovely parents have passed on. My siblings don’t even live in the same state as I.

It’s me and God, and that’s not lonely. It’s lovely.

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:
Thank you Laurie. This is brilliantly put. I’m glad we are on the same page about this.
We have choices and so much power to change our immediate circumstances and our tomorrows. We subconsiously learn from the past, move on and avoid making that same mistake. That way we are actually erasing old patterns.
Positive affirmations such as ‘I am in the right place at the right time’ or ‘I learn from old behaviour and choose not to make that mistake again’ (for example) are keeping our present in check. Trusting in the universe to take care of us and lead the way is the best and most natural thing right?

A full and thankful heart..

In response to anoushka’s post:
I believe so..and it works for me very well.

You can test your theories very quickly.

Look at the past for just a moment, when you were less informed.
Then experience this moment with your insights about love, gratitude, moving forward, letting go, focusing on yourself, doing the next right thing, not e.g.o., (:

What do you get? You know that you know that being in the moment is the only place to be. Yesterday is so gone. Today is really what life is

Tomorrow is what we do and be now(:

“When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” Marianne Williamson

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