Part One:
The ‘big work’ is to WANT to be mindful… we really have to WANT to Let Go of our problems and dramas. They can be miserably addictive. After all…what are we going to talk about when Fred phones or when I meet Mary for coffee… Our dramas can possess us.
If we REALLY want to Let Things Go, we have to remember that others are not responsible for our peace of mind. “If only they would stop doing that then I could have peace of mind”… If you can somehow manipulate them into doing things your way, one’s ego will thrive and for awhile one will seem happy…but since we didn’t get to the ROOT (which is always in US—)another drama will arise that has different characters but will be presenting us once again with the chance to SEE ‘the peace we seek lies within us.’
So what do you do? A number of things and they all take work and discipline. And the work is done by directing the Mind and not letting the Ego have full sway. It means giving up and worldly game of playing “Victim vs Survivor” and knowing that the answers are within us.
Law of Attraction tells us that what we give our constant focus and attention to is what we get more of. Is it any wonder then, that fretting and stewing, condemning, planning vengeance only finds its way back into our OWN lives?
It’s not easy (but it DOES get easier! :) ) to be mindful and observe where your thoughts are taking you. But once we get into the habit, its easier to spot those Detour signs and avoid getting into the Ditch of depression, anger, or self pity. It doesn’t mean to pretend to ‘destroy’ those thoughts…but do like Pema Chodron advised: Practice observing them, step back, know they are not REALLY YOU, and simply say “Thinking…just thinking”… and then start to Ease Your Way away from them..(Cuz it won’t happen all at once!) You can’t Pink Fluff or Flower your way with falsely happy thoughts…just work your way Easy Like…to a better place…and YES, IT CAN BE DONE. This is maybe one of the hardest parts—being willing to LET GO of those negative daydreams! Affirmations help so much… but they have to be ones that you truly feel accepting of…again Easing Our Way… An affirmation such as: “I am not going to let others hurt me anymore!”… simply affirms itself and makes Misery’s Road smoother and more drivable! :)
Today my own words/beliefs were put to the test. That of not ‘preaching’ or ‘trying to save others’…
A 40 yr old young woman talked to me this morning about drinking herself into a stuper, going blank, falling and cutting her head… I really thought twice before I said ANYTHING to her… She said she knew it was all her fault…I just said it was good she took responsibility..I only suggested she might ‘cut back’ when she is aware she is drinking too much and she said “OH NO! I’m going to quit!”
I knew better than to say “OH GOOD”… because it doesn’t work to say that… it adds to their pressure and they will more quickly resume drinking… So I just told her to keep repeating “I intend to cut back because I know what is good for me and I am a good person” … She liked that. I didn’t INTEND to give her an affirmation but I did! :) When she really and truly wants to quit…she will find the help.
Albert Einstein was the one who said “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge” and that is oh so true.
We can ‘know’ something … I am especially thinking along the lines of spirituality here … we can ‘know something in our hearts to be true’ for us… but without giving our attention and focus to what we WANT… our Imagination will simply direct the Law of Attraction to bring us what we are concentrating on.
This is why working with Mindfulness is SO important to me… How easy it is —without noticing what we are doing! — to allow our thoughts and minds to think about ‘yesterday’…or what is actually worse: conjuring up ‘future’ scenes which far too often are the opposite of what we REALLY want…
The Energy in this ‘time’ is extremely powerful and we create SO easily without paying attention… So to ‘bmindful’ is probably one of the very most important things we can do.
Love and Peace to all.
