☼ Connectedness

Connecting with others is an important area in life. This thread is about your thoughts and feelings about connectedness.

What does it mean to you? How is it important? How do you connect in your life with yourself, your significant others, and your understanding of Something Greater than Yourself ?

Connecting with others is an important area in life. This thread is about your thoughts and feelings about connectedness.

• ~~ ✰~~
  (excerpts from article by Jay Earley, PhD) Developing Autonomy / Experiment with asserting your autonomy.
• ** Work on knowing what you think, feel, and want, even when it is different from other people.
• ** Practice the following behaviors: Set limits when you need to. Express your desires or opinions. Stand your ground when others disagree or push their perspective. Recognize that other people may not always like what you say or do, and take the risk to do it anyway.
• ** As you practice being autonomous ,[a] a people-pleaser part may fear that you are being unpleasant or unnecessarily aggressive because it isn’t used to this. [b]Reassure it that you are just taking care of yourself, and that’s OK.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Motive – Cooperation verses People Pleasing

• ** What Cooperation Looks Like by Jay Earley, PhD
• ** People Pleasing is really an extreme version of Cooperation. If you have a Cooperation Pattern, you can work with others smoothly without giving up your way of doing things. You like to be part of a group, but only if you can truly be yourself.
• ** You are interested in other people’s thoughts and feelings, and you can assert your own. You can be receptive or autonomous (or both) depending on what the situation needs. You like to empower others, but not at your own expense. You want to resolve conflict, not avoid it. You like to make other people feel good, but you don’t ignore your own needs, thoughts, or desires in the process.
• ** In short, you can cooperate without automatically complying. This is because your motivation for cooperating comes from a desire for connection or accomplishment, not from a need to please._{Jay Earley has a Ph.D. in psychology from Saybrook University and is a licensed psychologist in California (PSY6973). He has been in private practice as a psychotherapist since 1973.}
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  A Guide to Being Yourself _{by Jennifer Louden}
• ~~ 1~~
  Dedicate yourself to wholeness. Perfection appears to be a much sexier partner but is actually a demon lover who will suck you dry and leave you bitter and broken.
• ~~ 2~~
  Acknowledge what you experience and how you feel. It’s not about you being right and someone else being wrong, it’s about claiming your experience. It’s your experience and seeing it, feeling it, sitting with it, helps make you you.
• ~~ 3~~
  Healthy desire birthed all of creation. Let it birth you, again and again. Being yourself springs from knowing what you want.
• ~~ 4~~
  Healthy desire is never about perfection (outcome). It is about going deeper than your mood, deeper than your stories of what is allowed or possible, into the sensations and energy of desire itself, and letting that move you into inspired action.
• ~~ 5~~
  Healthy desire is the source from which you renew your commitment to what matters most to you. Acting on that commitment will mean constantly unfurling into the unknown. The sooner you make peace with doing that (yes imperfectly which means people will be pissed off at you) the more energy you will have for adventure!
• ~~ 6~~
  Every time you say “I can’t because…” you are giving your power away to someone or something else, which is giving yourself away. Power is a foundational spiritual quality. Pretending that you don’t have power or that you are not responsible for your life is the quickest way to hell. Trust me on this one.
• ~~ 7~~
  Have practices that help you open your heart, love yourself, and witness your thoughts and reactions. Because here’s the hysterical truth: there really isn’t a separate self to be and that is the most delicious discovery of all.
• ~~ 8~~
  Waste no time guarding the self you are forever becoming. It’s one thing to have strong boundaries and another to jealously guard your heart.
  _________________
  _________________
  _
  ►•We are a society of pretenders. We are a society of people who pretend to be that which we believe is who we should be instead of who we are. When we understand that we are all more alike than we are different, then spiritual healing can begin.☼ body-window.com
  ____________________________________________
  The simple truth is that it is only when you dare to be vulnerable that you can truly connect to others. When you dare to show that you are not perfect, when you are free to let it all out, then real catharsis can occur. Your vulnerability will pave the way to allow others to be vulnerable. This brings about realness, authenticity and connectedness that you will never achieve otherwise.

►•We are a society of pretenders. We are a society of people who pretend to be that which we believe is who we should be instead of who we are. When we understand that we are all more alike than we are different, then spiritual healing can begin.☼ body-window.com
►•You are not just a meaningless fragment in an alien universe, briefly suspended between life and death, allowed a few short-lived pleasures followed by pain and ultimate annihilation. Underneath your outer form, you are connected with something so vast, so immeasurable and sacred, that it cannot be spoken of – yet I am speaking of it now. I am speaking of it now not to give you something to believe in but to show you how you can know it for yourself.☼author Eckhart Tolle
________________________________________________________________________

All the misery on the planet arises due to a personalized sense of “me” or “us.” That covers up the essence of who you are. When you are unaware of that inner essence, in the end you always create misery. It’s as simple as that. When you don’t know who you are, you create a mind-made self as a substitute for your beautiful divine being and cling to that fearful and needy self.Protecting and enhancing that false sense of self then becomes your primary motivating force..☼author Eckhart Tolle ►• The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form.☼author Eckhart Tolle _________________________________________________________________________ Energy Affirmations Spiritual Affirmations 4 Aspects of Energy by Nathalie Campeau, MD ►•Spiritual energy gives us wings when we know and passionately express our life’s purpose. ►•Intellectual energy is enhanced when continuous learning and constant creating nourish us intellectually, and when we take charge of our thinking and decision-making. ►•Physical energy peaks when we give our body what it needs to function optimally ►•Emotional energy is optimized when our relationships to others and ourselves are harmonious Fitness Affirmations Healthy Body & Youthfulness Affirmations Attitude Affirmations

• Ideas to practice :
  ■Stop viewing yourself as distant and apart on the basis of your geography, or your isolation from those who are struggling elsewhere. When you become aware of someone suffering on another shore, say a prayer for that person, and see if you can experience in your heart your oneness with that person.
  ■See God in everyone and everything and behave each day as if the God in all things truly mattered. Try to suspend your judgments of those who are less peaceful, and less loving, and instead know that hatred and judgment are the problems in the first place.
  ■Use fewer labels that distinguish you from “them.” You are a citizen of the world and a member of the human family, and when you stop the labeling process you begin to see God in every garden, every forest, every home, every creature, and every person, and inner peace will be your reward..•☼author Wayne Dyer
  ____________________________________________________________________

►•3 things which close the heart- criticism, indifference and pessimism.
To put the world in right order,
we must first put the nation in order;
to put the nation in order,
we must first put the family in order;
to put the family in order,
we must first cultivate our personal
life; we must first set our hearts right .
~ Confucius
Values Affirmations

Balance Affirmations

Change Affirmations
__________________________________________________________________
Friendship Affirmations

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words” ~anonymous

________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
►• ►•Beyond the beauty of external forms, there is more here: something that cannot be named, something ineffable, some deep, inner, holy essence. Whenever and wherever there is beauty, this inner essence shines through somehow. It only reveals itself to you when you are present.Eckhart Tolle
►•When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world. Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form..☼author Eckhart Tolle
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________ ►•The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful. Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to the most important people in your life. ~Brian Tracy ►•We don’t really know what relationships are
what they can be,
their depth, height,
width—as with all
else in life our
understanding of
relationship is
limited by our
experience of
them.
~ Susanna Bair

___________________________________________________________________

Related Threads In Process

• Marriage & Family Focus/Affirmations and Other Tools
• Self Compassion -Give Yourself A Break
• Energizing Heart You Are the Energy – The Personal Energy Crisis
• Love Affirmations from Che Garmen’s Wonderful thread
  ___________________________________________________________________

Some of My Thoughts on Love & Connectedness

I look at life with a smile in my heart for many reasons…
Here’s 1 of many reasons…

• not because I’m not alone…but because I am with someone who desires to understand and care as much about me as I care about me… and those intentions/actions are mutual..and contribute joyfully with my current perspective(: ♥ – The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. ~Neale Donald Walsch

Marriage allows
partners the
great gift of
completing the
development of
each other’s
hearts
Jana Staton, PhD, LCPC
Daniel McMannis, M.Ed
____________________________
Love & Marriage
One possible
reason America has
a high divorce rate
is because the
emphasis is on
finding someone
with a good heart
rather than
developing a good
heart.
~ Puran Bair

Principles of Personal Transformation by Wingmakers

Profound personal transformation is initiated by the realization that you are capable of direct access to the Divine. This is the realization that the wisdom of the Divine can be discovered deep within you. There is a wide range of means that can facilitate self-mastery through personal transformation. Though the means may vary, the intent behind the means is quite narrowly defined as the intent to expand into a state of integration whereby all aspects of your conscious self become increasingly aligned with your divine essence.

There are three particular life principles that help to align your perspective with the perspective of divine essence and thus inspire profound personal transformation. They are: 1) seeing the Divine in all; 2) nurturance of life; and 3) gratitude. When you apply these principles, a deeper meaning will be revealed to the seemingly random events of your life experience.

Seeing the Divine in All

This is the principle that the Divine is present and can be seen everywhere and in all manifestations of life. It is interwoven in all things like an intricate mosaic whose pieces adhere to the same wall, and are thus unified. However, it is not the picture that unifies the mosaic, but the wall upon which its pieces adhere. Similarly, the Divine paints a picture so diverse and seemingly unrelated that there appears to be no unification. Yet it is not the outward manifestations that unify. It is the inward center of divine energy that unifies all life.

Seeing the Divine in all is the principle that all manifestations of life convey an expression of All That Is. It does not matter how far the unifying energy has been distorted; the Divine can be observed. It is the action of perceiving unification even when the outward manifestations appear random, distorted, or chaotic. The principle of seeing the Divine in all is the perception that life is perfect in its expression because it flows from perfection, and that no matter how divergent its manifestations are, all life is an extension of the Divine.

In light of the obvious turmoil and destruction that are apparent on Earth, this is an outlook or perception that may seem naive. How can life in all its forms and expressions be perceived as optimal or perfect? This is the great paradox of life, and it cannot be reconciled with your mental or emotional capabilities. It can only be understood in the context of the soul, which is deathless, timeless, and limitless.

Calling forth the divine perceptions of the soul is actualized through looking for both the inward and outward manifestations of the Divine. It is not only that the Divine is found within you and within every individual manifestation of life; it is also in itself the wholeness of all life. Thus, this principle of transformation calls for seeing the Divine in all its diverse forms of manifestation, as well as in the wholeness of life itself.
__________________________
Connecting with others is an important area in life. This thread is about thoughts and feelings about connectedness.

I don,t connect I cope.lol…I have a friend on this site with whom I connect with,that gives me a sense of hope and gratitude.I believe in something greater than myself,when I do things that free my body and mind,in other words to feel physically good,relatively painfree. And you could say I like to keep my mind empty of thoughts that don,t serve any purpose,and by doing that I leave space for my creative self to think thoughts that will perpetually improve the quality of my life, and perhaps others…having said that I,m still a work in progress,making a little daily progress is all I should expect of myself,recently I,ve learned that failure is part and parcel of success,so if I welcome failure,I won,t be afraid to try things out of my comfort zone so failure is a close relative of success…I had no idea these thoughts were in my mind.It,s seems people are always trying to say what they themselves most need to learn.Don,t you find some truth to that?

I find it to be very easy to connect with most people when I want to, but I’m not connected to very many people these days. I just don’t engage that many people. There are a lot of lonely people out there though – people who would almost kill for a touch of kindness, or even just an acknowledgement – a Namaste if you take my meaning. We live in a far more detached society than we did even twenty or thirty years ago. Can you tell me the names of your neighbors? When I was a kid I visited my neighbors. I didn’t ask anyone, or wait for any kind of invitation, I just went down the street and knocked on their door. I usually got a cookie or something. Back then those ‘old people’ seemed to really like having a visitor. One lady up the street used to make me M&M cookies. Maybe it is still like that and I’m just being a bit jaded about that, I don’t know. Maybe I don’t connect much anymore is ‘cause I usually don’t feel like the things I’m good at are very much valued. I’m sort of a creative/artsy/intellectual type and I’ve never been big on drawing attention to myself. Maybe I should. I sure crave appreciation. Do we all? Or society seems to lavish rewards on what seem to me to be the least deserving. I am sooooo glad I’m not a stinking lawyer. Some of the scummiest people on the planet are pro athletes, not all, I know, but how do some of these people get such praise and monetary reward. I’m over-generalizing, but you know what I mean. I also realize that I’m rambling now, but, what the hell, it’s a forum, lol. Wanna talk about politicians, what a snake-pit. First thing most of ‘em seem to do is pay off their buddies and set up a whole new list of rules that will be selectively enforced. What about ‘movie-stars’, seems like a lot of them like to preach about what you are supposed to do with your money. Stinking socialists. If they practiced what they preached, their multi-million dollar paychecks would be equally divided up between the directors, writers, cameramen, editors, and everyone else who make them movie-stars. What a joke. The actor, probably has the easiest job of anyone involved in making a movie, lol. The academy awards, I’m almost rolling on the floor now. Okay, I get best writer, best director and some of those things, but what the hell in the big deal about best-actor. It’s the writer and the director and the host of other people that make that actor the best actor. (Boy, am I digressing, or what!) Is the world more cynical now than it used to be? I guess I am, but maybe that comes with age. Plato wrote about this kind of thing a couple of thousand years ago. How we have evolved! So, what does this have to do with connectedness. A whole lot in my view. I guess we have to be the change. You and me.

This movie comes to mind. If you’ve never seen it, you have missed one of the greatest movies ever made, period.

and it is a thought worth pondering… I am sure that it is a state of mind. It’s a state of mind that is so pervasive in our society, (I’m especially thinking of the U.S., but the fruits of this kind of mentality can be seen in much of the world, think western Europe and Venezuela) that it is epidemic. I can’t help but think about the Down with Wall Street crowd and the entitlement mentality. Don’t misunderstand, I think the incestuous Goldman Sachs/Washington relationship is a mephitic cesspool, but most of what I see in the ‘protest crowd’ is a bunch of people who epitomize what they condemn. It comes across as a ‘give me my stuff you greedy bastards’ kind of mob. They are right in that they are calling a bunch of greedy bastards, greedy bastards. What they aren’t doing is looking in the mirror. I feel like this is closely tied to connectedness/disconnectedness. I know one thing, and I hope we as a society don’t have to experience anything like it to wake up, but, I know one thing that brings immediate in your face connectedness is real tragedy and I’m thinking specifically about the holocaust, but real tragedy of any kind will get your priorities sorted out real quick. Everyone should read “Man’s Search for Meaning”. That book really nails it. People have something to live for or they don’t. Hope is a good and important thing, but false-hope and empty promises cripple a society. False hope is what most politicians feed on. Believing that ‘they’ can fix your problems is ridiculous. It’s a fool’s hope. The problems that are ‘out there’ are really ‘in here’. My heart hurts for children born into this society. They are thrown to the wolves before they can walk. The other day my niece was over here and the movie Aliens was on the television; it didn’t even phase her. Remember how scary Jaws was; doesn’t even ‘cause a kid to cover his eyes. Have you seen the empty shows that pass for entertainment. There is a show called Two Broke Girls on television now. It should have a parental warning, but it doesn’t – it’s prime time television. Ever seen Toddler in Tiaras? It will make you ill if you watch it. Also, I haven’t seen it, but there is or was a show on MTV all about unmarried teens who intentionally got pregnant for a free-ride. I wonder if they still think they got a free ride. I know I’m rambling again, but I think most of you know what I’m saying. There seems to be no innocence anymore, no wonder and no childhood. The poor in the U.S. aren’t poor. We live like kings compared to the people who lived less than a hundred years ago, at least in a material sense, but we live like paupers compared to those same people in another sense. There is so little appreciation for anything today. Everything is taken for granted. And we wonder why people feel lost and disconnected. I know that it is easy to look at the past through rose-colored glasses – I’m not trying to do that. The world is better in many ways than it used to be, but it seems like it is getting better and worse at the same time. When I finish this post I’m going to do something very simple. I’m going to write my brother, Joe, who I seldom see or talk to and let him know I love him. I think I’ll write a few other people as well. It’s not much and it’s simple, but at the same time, isn’t it more than ‘not much’, and more than ‘simple’.

In response to Smart_Routines_With_Enthusiasm’s post:

You know recently I saw a young couple really in love with each other. Not in a sexual way but true love. The young man is so handsome and the girl is the same beautiful with flowing long head of hair.

It really was a nice thing because I don’t see much of that anymore. Sometimes I long for the old way of life. I really believe that farmers or those who live close to the Earth have the right idea. I am very happy when I am growing fruits and vegetables. There is nothing more wonderful than to go out to your yard and pick what you need for breakfast or dinner. I don’t have to take my car out wait in long lines, I just go out to my yard and pick what I want. And it’s so much more delicious then store bought fruit.

You know what? We can be the way we want life to be all we need to do is just start doing it then everyone else follows!

“Leave It To Beaver”:,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULK_PNaS6d0

I live in a pretty small town in Arkansas and we have lots of farmers around here and you see them on the side of the road around town selling squash and tomatoes and what not. Right now we can get great watermelon. One thing we don’t have here is a real farmers market. I wish we had one of those here. I’ve heard that some communities are really working on the ‘buy local’ thing and it is a great idea. I hope this idea keeps growing and spreading. It’s just the kind of thing that builds community and it’s one thing that is conspicuously absent in so many places.

Why Buy Local

Sustainable Connections
A page from Local Living Guide
Is Wal-Mart worth it? Wal-mart has put so many people out of business in our town it is amazing. One thing that comes to mind immediately. We used to have a locally owned Hancock Fabric Store. Not that I know how to sew, but it was a nice, big store that had an excellent selection of what anyone needed and it had people that that knew how to help you and were actual seamstresses. So, naturally, our Wal-Mart had a big fabric section. A few years pass and the local Hancock goes out of business and just like magic, Wal-Mart virtually eliminates their fabric section. It’s the high-cost of low prices . That’s just the tip of the ice-berg when it comes to Wal-Mart.

In response to Smart_Routines_With_Enthusiasm’s post:
You’re right again I buy at Trader Joes and other small markets. It can be a little pricey but Trader Joe’s is a little more reasonable. I really don’t buy at big stores anymore and it’s strange but Trader Joe’s and Sprouts are always packed with people. I think the words out because I went to Von’s the other day for I item. There hardly was anyone in there! Yay people are starting to listen!

I was so happy to see this. I don’t like driving to the store to buy just one tomato. I started giving my neighbors my lemons because I have tons of them. I am an older person and I remember the Helm’s man coming down the street to sell pastries and butter. Man did I love that!

“Helm’s Man”:,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U90ka_QnNVYm Hey what about the 50’s and 60’s !!

You certainly have a refreshing, youthful spirit about you GC. There are some shining lights here on this site. I miss some of the people who used to be active, don’t you? I even took a break for a while, I’m sure you know why, but it has been good to come back and post and share some stuff. That makes me feel a little more connected. I’ve never heard of the Helm’s man before and I’m one hundred and forty seven. So you must be at least two hundred or so, lol! ;-) What was it like back before they invented electricity? And was Ab Lincoln really as tall as they say?

Ab Lincoln? I meant Abe. Ab Lincoln was the guy who invented that fancy car wasn’t he? Okay, it’s late, I’m getting delirious.

In response to Smart_Routines_With_Enthusiasm’s post:

I really don’t know I was hanging around with Moses at the time!! (:

I try to have a refreshing spirit other wise I might spoil! Really I try to laugh it up once and a while. I thought about starting a joke thread but someone might get into trouble. Like me! (: