Beatles: "A Day In The Life"
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
Intro:
Welcome All!
I am looking forward developing new insight, new access, greater meaning and new freedom of expression in to relationships in my personal and my professional life that I value.
Relationships that are important and other relationships that still hold value, they all need care and the presence of trust and healthy boundaries.
Your goals and needs may vary from my goals, and identifying intention is a great way to provide clarity.
For me, I welcome new growth and a new capacity to have meaningful communication that is open, honest with respect to the boundaries of the others and allows them respect to choose those boundaries and respect and accept them.
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
Before posting questions, I want to explain why I wanted that particular Beatles song posted.
The song, "A day in the Life," it such an unusual song but I think the unusualness and the randomness on the meaning can be pivotal.
For me, the pivotal part is literally in the base. It took some time to understand how and why this song works - even if the lyrics make no sense, the music is the key.
In this same way - I am wanting to write and participate in meaningful discussion about growth, about having meaningful conversation - specifically in relationships and specifically with having healthy boundaries (for self and for others).
I find momentum in music, and I use this song offers a clear example of using a bridge - as a transition, which signals, metamorphically, that transition occurred and we are now returning back from one level of consciousness and we are returning to "waking up," "running late," "running out the door," and the choir plays music of a physical struggle, "caught the bus in seconds flat..." then, "someone spoke and I went into a dream..."
Those lyrics that tie this song together and everybody was able to identify and relate to this "transition," and the song was viewed by many as one of the best songs the Beatles ever produced.
By bringing in 40 piece Choir - demonstrated the Beatles' willingness to not only do something really different, something that had never been done before and have a piece of music that is still a ONE of a kind song that could easily be shoved aside OR it could be understood and it could open new levels of both understanding and appreciation, with the awareness of what an enormous effort it was --- to make this song work, when it had different pitches and wildly different tempos!
What are signs of healthy relationships?
The bases of relationships are something that we all learn in early childhood.
Some families teach their young to have boundaries and to respect one another.
Other families provide less structure or have weak consistency of upholding healthy boundaries.
The inconsistency creates gaps that allow for inconsistency of boundaries. Inconsistency leads to young children who grow up with inconsistency and weak ability to have stable boundaries with others and it may lead to a lack or an inability to learn how to have clear boundaries, if you've never been taught to have boundaries in the first place.
Healthy adult relationships have the 3 C's of boundaries: that identify the 3 C's of psychological framework that include Clear boundaries, communicated calmly, and consistency of maintaining your commitment to that boundary (and don't undermine that commitment.)
Healthy relationships do not foster co-dependency:
Healthy relationships foster interdependency. Both partners maintain interdependency and individuality while offering individual support to each other.
Questions:
What makes a relationship not be codependent?
In every friendship, each partner must learn what a healthy non-co-dependent relationship looks like. Trust and respect are the foundation of all healthy relationships.
Each person must have clarity of their boundaries as well as clarity and awareness of the other person's boundaries.
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
You’re not obligated
to be transparent-to
everyone:
Openness isn’t a requirement
of love; respect is.
Balance is not better time management,
but better boundary management.
Balance means
making choices
and enjoying
those choices.”
Betsy Jacobson
questions for your consideration
We need boundaries with ourselves and one another to protect our time and our energy . When we don’t place a boundary on our focus with ourselves and others - how can we trust what matters to us to ever happen effectively?
What’s one thing you keep saying “yes” to that quietly pulls you away from your priorities and what would a boundary look like for that?
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
In response to 💐creating only joyful experiences in my loving world's post:
true story
i was “multi tasking” … involved in Happiness Meeting creation ..& answering a text message to someone who did a favor for me .
Brief as my response was … I was also trying to eat can of tuna
So as I was in the midst of all of these wonderful things - I slit my finger on the can
This true story is what happens metaphorically with people who want something that is not what you want to offer .You may not be slicing your finger/ though you are slicing up your life
Do you have space to do that
People who don’t have your world … and they want pieces you have not decided to offer
Be unapologetically You!
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Honesty is not one-size-fits-all
This is referring to :
• Truth vs. detail:
You can be truthful about how you feel without sharing identifying specifics.
to be continued
Relationships
in a healthy relationship, trust grows not from access to every detail, though more from reliability, respect, and the courage to say, “Here’s what I can share, and here’s what I can’t.”
Integrity: staying consistent with who you are, even when it’s uncomfortable.
You can speak the truth without handing over everything,
and you can connect deeply without sharing identifying details.
As we choose with each relationship
what is right for us that’s self respect
Self respect says
I am sacred - this is sacred
it is not discounting the sacredness of another
If a person says you told me everything about you though not this or that
they most probably need to look at their own unmet needs & expectations Consent matters: Sharing should match what the other person is asking for—and-what you’re comfortable giving.
When we treat openness as a requirement for everyone, it turns into pressure. When we pair honesty with boundaries, it becomes consent.
We don’t have to be in a circular relationship where we try to perform to fit the requirements of another ..,especially when our giving is straight from the heart .
No one should measure their giving-ness and basic needs being met
by how much someone chooses to share.
“if you love me you will”
If you love me, you will…” is a common unhealthy expectation because it uses love as leverage.
People usually say it when they feel unsafe, unseen, or afraid, though the result is pressure instead of clarity.
A clearer, healthier version keeps the emotion and replaces the demand is to use I statements of what you need / though the recipient is not obligated to give you what fixes you
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Saved for responses to questions
We need boundaries with ourselves and one another to protect our time and our energy . When we don’t place a boundary on our focus with ourselves and others - how can we trust what matters to us to ever happen effectively?
My answer is you can’t be effective if your focus is not balanced with what you are saying you value the most
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Saved for response
What’s one thing you keep saying “yes” to that quietly pulls you away from your priorities and what would a boundary look like for that?
With people I care sometimes too much that they understand what they have shown me they don’t understand.
I don’t expect people to grasp me & my life . That’s not ‘their job’ Though after having a long term relationship where being each others best friend was close & personal (a growing bond for decades) & we still needed to be clarify things & spend a great deal of time trying (: …. I try to do that w/ others bc I saw it work in marriage & business .
I choose to do that less now. Not bc I don’t care about others … though the biggest life lesson I have ever had in love - is always love myself a hair more than the people I love the most & I don’t have time space & energy for that type of availability… I am starting over every day … to live my life w/o my husband since his passing
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Saved for response
What do you want from others ? That’s an unfair question bc each relationship needs to be treated with the uniqueness it contains . Why do you share your personal feelings with others? What is it you really want them to know that matters most to you about you and your feelings or anything you wish to say or not?
What matters most to me is that my feelings are received without judgment ( or prejudgments) or assumptions and that I’m not pressured to disclose more than I am comfortable sharing
i am unapologetically me
I also want Care.
That’s consistent to include listening, kindness, and understanding and that my honesty can include limits
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Beloved Moderator!
I apologize for being slow getting this powerful meeting off the ground.
I am not as fast as you are, and my mind is full -- to the brim before I undertake on this most desirable meeting.
I have much to say - that speaks to the level of heightened awareness and enthusiasm --- that this unfinished meeting, and its core content has already inspired me and --- even with that, I feel like this meeting is a lot like surfing -- without being prepared!
To other members:
Please feel free to join in any of these Happiness meetings! Jump in - exactly as you need to!
Happiness meetings are intended to be powerful source for growth and contribution, and these meetings are never closed.
The Happiness meetings are intended to meet your need to support YOU and to GIVE YOU exactly what YOU need so that you can create and manifest and BE the change that YOU need!
In Peace and Positivity,
Kathi
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
This meeting has been invaluable to me.
I value the time and the pause that was necessary - that we spent in developing this title for this meeting.
I value the space that I continue to hold, and allow new growth, greater appreciation and sensitivity for wider awareness of the wide reaching effects of Self and the desire for greater realization for both clarity and my need for healthier boundaries on all levels.
This is literally a form of structural standing...
With this greater awareness of my needs, I add the additional awareness of my need for structural support for my really strong and mostly silent healthy boundaries.
I value the measure of my inner peace more than I value the opinions or feelings of others'.
I choose to embrace my choices and honor all that I AM.
I welcome this day, this moment and I embrace my health, my home and my truth...
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
→ My heart rhythm syncs with the rhythm of nature. Effortlessly I AM.
→ Each choice I make brings majestic order to my beautiful life
→ I am built for later in the day, though I can still downshift earlier.
→ I turn the seemingly impossible into my next achievement.
→ I love myself and I am in charge of my own effectiveness and happiness
→ I am capable, even when quiet, motionless and contemplating.
→ I sleep so well
→ I eat very well.
→ I am grateful and appreciative for the strength that got me this far.
→ What would it be like to get things done to my satisfaction? TODAY I WILL FIND OUT.
→ I embrace my tasks at hand and see everything as a blessing.
→ I AM the overcoming of all thoughts of limitation and fear.
.
→ I am now transforming my life into a haven of peace.
I posted the following in the last Happiness Meeting- seemed fitting here :
Allowing
Better Energy
Tapping into Emotions
Preserving Energy
Spiritual
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
In response to Life is about making excellent choices!!'s post:
I am glad you brought up healthy vrs non healthy relationships & codependency
It’s quite a good topic
https://www.simplypsychology.org/signs-of-codependency.html
Codependent relationships are a specific type of dysfunctional helping relationship in which one person supports or enables the other person’s underachievement, irresponsibility, immaturity, addiction, procrastination, or poor mental or physical health.”
Shawn M. Burn Ph.D.
Lacking boundaries can be a sign of a codependent relationship.
Codependency and caring both involve emotional and supportive behaviors in a relationship, but they have distinct differences in their nature, dynamics, and effects.
Healthy caring is motivated by genuine love, concern, and empathy for the well-being of the other person.
It is based on a desire to support, nurture, and contribute positively to the relationship without sacrificing one’s own well-being or identity.
Codependency, on the other hand, is often motivated by a fear of abandonment, a need for external validation, or a compulsion to control and fix another person’s problems.
Codependents may feel that their self-worth is tied to their ability to care for and please the other person.
Caring individuals are also able to maintain their independence and sense of self within the relationship.
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Good morning Bmindful …
I wanted to share how this mtg has already assisted me
i have a lot of things to do daily & always do absolutely everything I can.
I started to experience not just burn out though extreme burn out.
I cannot stop the areas I need to do:/ handle … though I decided I can stop maybe how I do things .
This is why I chose to include boundaries in this Happiness Meeting topic
So Many people have no clue what boundaries really are .
Most people who have never done the work - seen to take things personally when they are already really about oneself
This morning I have already responded to 2 text messages & kindly & as I felt comfortable.. expressed what I can & won’t accommodate others with & even my writing style had changed
while I am quite versed on boundaries- a refresher … reinforcement… is a good thing & already proving to assist my mind body spirit & energy needs
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
In response to Life is about making excellent choices!!'s post:
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
For me, there is so much to unload and re-organize!
For me, this is the perfect place for me to plant my own personal flag - with a symbol of one of my beloved animal totems: my sea turtle...
This is more than symbolic. This is one of many totems, that together bring physical form to the body of my truth. Recognition allows me to be complete to the degree that I no longer feel the need to be understood, and I can release the need to be understood.
Silence allows others to form their own truth, without the need to convenience others of the measure of their newest growth and understanding,
I allow mySelf abundant space to prepare a new space for my next few months as I allow mySelf time to make new plans, new deadlines, new choices that will bring the new growth that I am rooting for.
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
In response to Hello Bmindful - choose yourself & feel the love's post:
There seems to be so much happening, and the speed at which so many things are occurring seem to be more than I can process.
In fact, the volume and the speed have caused me to turn my focus in to my needs and to re-claim my focus and train it on my priority list.
That's a boundary right there.
And, there really is so much going on.
Here in the USA, it is almost our July 4th, the anniversary of the USA's 250th Anniversary of our Independence.
I know, the world knows who we have for a President, so I will turn my focus to the worthy and the Good work that this Happiness meeting is presenting for us to partake in.
Thank you Moderator, for all that you have shared in this meeting.
As always, your posts are very nutrient rich and much appreciated!
Having Boundaries as a topic is very powerful and it has caused me to re-claim my ownership and greater responsibility for my priority list.... and it is amazing how instantly the world confirms almost like a magnet.
I was praying, and this wave of peace washed over me... I felt completely uplifted and detached from stress so completely. Everything was more than enough... I was covered by bliss that did not require words, or thoughts or concerns. Just bliss... just BE STILL and let GO!
It was a gift.... and I learned that letting go is within. It is not a result of a decision or a thought or a conversation.
Letting go is allowing me to re-purpose my purpose.
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
Affirmations related to Healthy boundaries:
Letting go is allowing me to re-purpose my purpose.
I easily reclaim my focus and I have the ability to have complete peace and single minded focus with complete awareness of being at ease.
"Stick with me." And I accept, with complete solitude and intentionality of focus, purpose and peace.
Choosing to focus on my need for healthy boundaries has allowed me to embrace my Spirit and embrace each new moment of each new now, knowing that working together with the wealth of the Universe, I accept my place. I accept my station and unlimited growth and collaboration.
I accept Love, Trust and Understanding and transformation into my "now" awareness.
I can create as many new "now" moments - as I need. I am flexible, capable and willing to meet each moment with initiative and endurance.
“Radical Acceptance is the ability to face hardships with greater love and deeper awareness.
Contemplation shapes radical acceptance as a way to choose love and peace over anger and despair.
Begin by finding this within ourselves before helping others.
In response to Life is about making excellent choices!!'s post:
fantastic !🙏🏼💐
You have reclaimed the power that was always there for you
i am
incredibly happy for you
one day @
a time may this energy develop & be the empowerment that adds the dimension you most appreciate.
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Pet peeve
when people take boundaries personally - bc it turns emotional work into relationship labor on top of everything else a person is going thru
affirmations
I set a boundary - I am
allowed to be done
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
I can move
through things
softly
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
Had quite a day today
& decided to do affirmations & respond to the questions again
Affirmations
People’s reactions are not my-responsibility .
I can be kind without being available.
I don’t have to justify my boundaries.
Their confusion is not evidence of my-wrongness.
I can choose calm over chaos.
I will not argue with what cannot be-reasoned with.
I can step away and still be a good-person.
I choose respectful distance.
I release the need to be understood by-everyone.
I protect my energy like it matters—because it does.
I can respond less and care more.
I can let silence be the answer.
I am allowed to disengage.
My choices are valid even when others-don’t agree/ understand
We need boundaries with ourselves and one another to protect our time and our energy . When we don’t place a boundary on our focus with ourselves and others - how can we trust what matters to us to ever happen effectively?
What’s one thing you keep saying “yes” to that quietly pulls you away from your priorities and what would a boundary look like for that?
Boundaries are how we tell our nervous system and our relationships, “This is what I will and won’t give.”
They create consistency so effort has somewhere to go,
and so progress is possible.
With boundaries, we can honor our values,
protect our attention, and turn intention into results instead of explaining ourselves in circles.
BE YOU
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” – Vince Lombardi
