OMG, I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, THERE IS NOTHING RIGHT, and on the right side, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!!
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I told you that I do NOT have Alzheimers. I have "some-timers"
Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I don't drink these days. I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs
Robert Downey junior
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I Am living a Divine plan
liking this! Thank you, Happy!
I Am living a Divine plan
Saw this one & liked:
Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. -
I Am living a Divine plan
You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Laughter is the best medicine ... but if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
MY NEW DIET: DAY 1
I have removed all bad food from the house. It was delicious
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
- monday
- Tuesday
- Wednesday
- Thursday
- Blink
- Monday
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
NIGHT - Can't find comfortable position in bed
MORNING - Every position is comfortable
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he's cleaned the whole house.
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
You need to get a life when,
you start looking through a friends profile on facebook and end up on their 2nd cousins sisters best friends brothers grandmas profile looking at vacation photos from 2010
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
WARNING!!!
I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake, which means I'm sober, hungry and very pi*s*d off, so proceed with caution.
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I can't sleep ... I just know that right now, at this very moment, someone is misspelling something on the internet
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can't even finish the joke because they're laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people.
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Last year I joined a support group for anti social people. We haven't met yet
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Clean underwear?? ... Mom, if I were in an accident I'd probably sh*t my pants anyway
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I don't have wrinkles. I just have a more relaxed type of skin than others
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
In response to Serenity Bay's post:
Aint that the truth, LOL
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Who cares if we're getting older? We still ROCK!
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, you didn't have to say "Don't try this at home" because we weren't all a bunch of morons
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
That awkward moment when a nap becomes sleep and you wake up confused about what year it is
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
IN BED ... It's 6am, you close you eyes for 5 minutes. It's 7-45am
AT WORK ... It's 1-30pm, you close your eyes for 5 minutes. It's 1-31pm
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
If you look in the mirror and see crows feet, cellulite, saggy boobs and bingo wings, don't despair, at least your eyesight is ok
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR LAZINESS
(But if you find one, please let me know)
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
There is no louder sound than the crunch of something you're not supposed to be eating
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
You think you ROCKED my world? Honey, you didn't even rattle the headboard
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Are you always such a SMARTASS?
NOPE ....
Sometimes I'm asleep
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Aww
my middle finger
likes you
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
LIFE TIP:
When nothing goes right
Go to bed
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we're even.
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
WARNING: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I haven't lost my mind .. half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Jack and Jill went up the hill and planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass
Now his front two teeth are missing
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
1) Denial
2) Anger
3) bargaining
4) depression
5) Acceptance
- My stages of getting ready for work
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I have a sleeping disorder. It's called children
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
The only thing worse than a house full of noisy kids is a house full of quiet ones.
That's when the real sh*t goes down
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
COFFEE - Starter fluid for the morning impaired
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Some days you feel like you're surrounded by idiots. Other days, you realize it's not only some days
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I don't understand why people have to get ready for bed. I'm always ready for bed
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
In response to Spread a little happiness's post:
that is funny
actually lots of very cute ones on your thread
thanks-spreading a little happiness
BE YOU
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan. I will make you beg me to stop. When I am finished you will be weak for days.
SINCERELY,
THE FLU
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Most people won't admit their faults
I WOULD
If I had any
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I really need a day between every day,
to recover from the day before and prepare for the day coming
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I still miss my EX,
but my aim is improving
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Doctors say that drinking 8 glasses of water a day helps keep your skin looking younger. My advice? drink 8 glasses of wine a day and you won't give a damn how old you look
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
ALRIGHT ...
Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Why is it always so easy to solve your friend's problems?
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Aint it nice when you get the silent treatment, cause you don't have to listen to their b**sh*t anymore
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Whoever put the words "morning and good" together was obviously mentally unbalanced
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
Does running way from your responsibilities count as exercise?
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
SHHH, Can you hear that? Yep, it's my beautiful soft warm bed calling my name. I really must go and see what it wants
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
"Grandpa, if you give me one dollar I'll tell you who sleeps with grandma when you're not at home .. Here, I'll give you five dollars, who is it?
Me ...!
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
No matter what life throws at you... at the end of the day your dog still loves you
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I should go to bed but the internet needs me
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
I want to sleep, but my brain won't stop talking to itself
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
The world is full of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it
Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true
enter the heart , you could win a prize