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I have dealt with a lot in my past. The most pressing issue is dealing with the residual effects of being molested at age 7. I am dealing with the shame of the incident. The person who did it is now dead and died seventeen years ago. Yet I still find it difficult to overcome some parts of my ordeal. I need prayer, and I need people who understand what I am going through. It was just yesterday, 11/24/07, that I finally forgave myself for my past transgressions due to the molestation. People seem to think that molestation is easy to overcome, and just because I forgave myself that means that all my troubles are over. Well the real work is just beginining because, I have to do away with the belief system that hasn’t served me well. I’ve been punishing myself because I thought that is what I should do. I still feel so ashamed at some of the decisions I’ve made that I sabotage my happiness. Well, I’m tired of doing that. I’ve been married for thirty days and a mother for 4 1/2 years and I’m tired of giving my husband and my son, just the remnants of me. I want to give them more because they deserve it. I’m just realizing I deserve it too, and I want it.

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