★Deleting past mistakes and moving on

Having recently made some mistakes….I am looking for positive ways of using this experience. By feeling guilt or other negative emotions they could potentially embed themselves deeper into the subconscious and manifest. How do we delete old behaviour? How do we look positively at a mistake, make peace with it and move on so that we never make the same error again? Those little anxieties concerning the ‘thing’ you did, could develop subconsciously. Is it fighting the ‘little voices of reason’ to try and ‘delete’ them or is it better to fully accept and make peace with the mistake – or better still, find some positivity in it? Lessons learned?? Wisdom gained….?

Having searched the site for answers I came across Lee’s post in the ‘Today is the best part of your life’ Thread.

Lee Nutter’s post that writes:

*When I falter, I don’t beat myself up but accept that I could have done better, learn from my mistakes and accept any potential consequences of those actions. I then resolve to do better next time.

The infinite number of opportunities to practice is what makes today amazing. It’s what will make tomorrow amazing too. The infinite number of opportunities to learn from the past is what makes every yesterday amazing too*

:) I’m so glad you found my post and got something out of it!

As my post you quoted would suggest I’m definitely about acceptance. The way I see it, you don’t really have a choice. Denying it’s existence is just that – denial, and I’m not sure hypnotherapy is advanced enough to delete memories just yet :)

We’ve all done things we regret, and eventually we’ll have to suffer the consequences. This might be because someone else brings it up when things catch up to you, or when you uncover them when you realize how much they’re holding you back.

Either way, the fact you are experiencing ‘regret’ means that you’ve realized your mistake and have learned something from it. This means you’re less likely to make the same mistake again.

The regret is useful in this way. The mistake was made out of ignorance, and if you ‘deleted’ the memory, the things it taught you would be deleted too, leaving you ignorant of whatever it is that you learned.

There’s a saying that “ignorance is bliss” but your action, being a mistake, had unfortunate consequences for yourself or others. But mistakes are caused by ignorance, so if ignorance was bliss then the unfortunate consequences would not be experienced by you. And if your ignorance is causing others suffering, then you’ll be lonely in your bliss.

If the suffering caused by the unfortunate consequences of your mistake is seemingly unbearable, at the very least, you can find comfort in the fact that in learning what you did, you’ll prevent the further suffering of others when you are presented with a similar situation in the future.

In response to Lee Nutter’s post:
Thankyou so much for these wise words.
I totally agree with what you said about ‘deleting’ the error – it seems so simple. The entire experience and what you learnt from it are far more valuable than the mistake….and perhaps the universe’s way of protecting you from doing it again…?
I can see so many positives to bearing the consequences of mistakes. After all, its what makes us human. I have to remember not to beat myself up about such things – firstly accept, then learn and grow from it.
Thanks again! ;o)

Anoushka,
Your smart for wanting to be conscious of what you tell yourself. Because as human beings we are the most repettitive long playing machine in existence. The absolute coolest thing is you can replay any idea over and over again. There’s a trick to this replaying the good stuff though.
How TO REPLAY YOUR GOOD STUFF:
You have to truly care about yourself. If not, your positive suggestions will go on a faulty tape player.

You have to be in a constant nurturing mode.

And you have to be honest, so you will be congruent with your current belief system. If you don’t think you did something well, an affirmation saying I am great will sound ridiculous.

So if you made a mistake and you didn’t have all of the info*->your self talk will be filled with forgiveness for where you were then. Add excitement and enthusiam with what you know now. And if ammends toward another is needed, you can more easily do so, because you’ve turned a corner. You are no longer where you were. It’s *better than deleting
->it’s enhanced with experience and love.

Have gratitude that something has spurred you on to become more versed where you were lacking. And know that as time goes by, you’ll look back with even more gratitude that you’ve become quite skilled in an area that once you floundered with.

And , if you made a mistake, and on some level you feel you knew better
->still forgive yourself. Though this time, nurture yourself with the reality that you will utilize the info you have learned to date, and will progressively learn more in this area. And you will rise to the occasion with all of the info to put your best forward as similar experiences present themselves. Congratulate yourself, that the next time you’re given this opportunity you’ll be a master at it. And think of all of the reasons why and how as a motivator.

Totally agree with Lee, that we have infinite chances to better ourselves. I’d just like to add, use your time well to use opportunities,
with love, nurturing, honesty, and footwork to learn new behaviors. Practice your new behaviors, understanding, we don’t start out perfect.

My Lil’Analogy:
Picture a very messy closet with everything falling out on the floor. This is “all of your stuff”.
Take the time to look through your stuff. Some things may have gotten damaged because you stuffed it in there carelessly to keep it out of sight or just didn’t want to deal with it.

-Some things may be treasures you haven’t seen in a long time. You may be mad at yourself, because your trash is mixed with your treasures.

-You may be mad at yourself that someone saw how you keep your stuff.

Though what wasted energy, if we don’t just use our time to see what we have truthfully->to do what we have to do to gather up our treasures, to no longer get lost in our shuffle.So we handle our treasures with care. Throw out what we don’t need now, or maybe never really needed. And last but not least we need to be honest with our assessment, so we make good decisions. Forgive ourselves with the mess we’ve made, and know we never want to lose our treasures again, or not repair what still works. We will waste what we’ve ha all along and the good we’ve tried to acquire along the way.

-And whoever saw our/your closet, that doesn’t accept us/you, and allow us to move on, is not a nurturing caring friend. Because everyone has a closet, drawer, and some have entire houses filled with things they need to reassess. Just don’t waste time. Lovingly get started, and don’t listen to any voices that don’t allow you to get the job done.

In response to laurie- effectively & easily handles every challenge~‘s post:
I love your analogy! I need to nurture my stuff – you are so right. I have to nurture what I value and not throw it away. A silly dead end investment was badly informed. I now know better. More to the point, I truly (even more than before) value my salary and appreciate it dont want to take ignorant risks with it! Like with quitting smoking. I now choose to nurture and appreciate my stuff, my health, my money – not waste and misuse. (having said that, I am still working on the smoking -its all work in progress!)
My work today has been to ‘clean house’ – by forgiving myself, clearing up the mess in the closet and nurturing the wonderful stuff I have.
I have truly gone into a ‘Laurie’ frame of mind and I am liking it. The more I see, the more I want to see. I have hit such a learning curve in the midst of my stupidity!! I love you guys! You bring me such clarity!
;o)

Hello everyone,

I have made an abundace of mistakes and will still probably do it again. The difference is now I have a choice. Mistakes didn’t make me a bad person but taught me a few lessons. Sometimes it has been back to the drawing board for me. Recently I had a great revelation. That I worried about things I had no control over. Then I read Lee’s post about destructive behavior and realised I could change it if I wanted to. Thinking negative all day was easy how about thinking positive all day? That’s it!!!

Then a chain reaction happened. What am I worried about? Everything turns out the way it’s supposed to anyway might as well be happy instead. It took a load off my shoulders. Lee’s positive thinking caused him to start this website and look how many people are benefitting from it already! Today I felt strangely free! Everything is ok! Thank you Lee!!!

Peace,
Mary

In response to anoushka's post:

"Because if you have done something wrong and you've made a mistake and somebody makes you ashamed of it and guilty, you run around licking the sores of your wounded ego because you feel your pride has been hurt. The first thing to understand is that it is not a serious failing in a human being to make mistakes. Everybody has to make mistakes, there is no way out of it. You can't learn anything unless you make mistakes"

Alan Watts

"As long as we are human, we are bound to make mistakes. What distinguishes a forward looking person from a intransigent one, a virtuous person from a dishonest one, however, is whether one can candidly admit to ones mistakes and take bold steps to redress them"

Daisaku Ikeda

"Mistakes simply happen because of a lack of awareness. Once awareness dawns in you, then you realise that you made a mistake out of ignorance, and by realising this, you come out of the mistake. once you have this awareness you become innocent and free once again"

Sri Sri

"Be humble to see you mistakes, courageous to admit them, and wise enough to correct them"

Amine Ayad

"Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn't mean they're bad. It means they're human"

Unknown

"Making a mistake is falling down. Failure is not getting up again"

Helen Keller

"In buddhist terminology there is nothing like sin, only mistakes, errors. There is no condemnation. You can correct the error, you can correct the mistake. It is simple"

Osho

"Every error is an opportunity to learn. Just do not commit the same mistake again and again. That is stupidity"

Osho

I love this thread! Thank you Spread a little happiness for bringing it forward.

Wow! Who here as never felt like ... ->whoops!  big or little-whoops?

One of the biggest things I've learned about these human occurrences, it is not others who are shaming us, it is ourselves. 

As humans we are always attempting to better ourselves, and when we know this, and we are accepting  our learning ... as learning... others are simply being others when they share thoughts and opinions regarding what we do, who we are and how we do things. The most valuable energy comes from us.

Others do not know our motives. Others rarely ask. It matters first what we really think...not what we'd like to think. We then can treat ourselves like the best friend we are to ourselves. 

I don't always love it when I feel unaccepted, or misunderstood. I do love it when loving myself is greater than the feelings others may have exhibited. I do love it when I keep learning to be my best self -not as a defense mechanism, though as self love, self care... and the energy I enjoy bringing to life.  

thank you again for bringing this thread current

"Your best teacher is your last mistake"

Ralph Nader

"Once you have no problem making mistakes, admitting them, and correcting them, hardly any mistakes will happen"

Sadhguru

"The experience of life should mature you. It is your choice to transform a memory into a wound or wisdom"

Sadhguru

"Making mistakes simply means you're learning faster"

Weston H Agor

In response to Selfcare-LivingLifeOfEase's post:

In response to Spread a little happiness's post:

All experiences combined keep teaching.... 

I am so grateful for life the way it has occurred. Sometimes I wonder would've changed anything. Its tempting to respond to various woulda coulda shouldas.

Though the reality is... so much I could've never planned this well would've never have happened, if I lived life any differently.

I would guess- the only things I would change -is if anything I ever did hurt another ....even remotely in the midst of my growth.

Or if I could've given or loved better...

Then I remember- I too have learned greatly from my imperfections, and I'm believing others are doing the same... and privy to the same gratitude and growth lessons I am.

Prayer and surrender helps me a lot.

 

"Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake at least you learn something, in which case it is no longer a mistake. if you remain stuck, you learn nothing"

Eckhart Tolle

In response to Selfcare-LivingLifeOfEase's post:In response to anoushka's post:

and response to all that has been said above(:

In response to anoushka's post: In response to Lee's post: In response to Selfcare-LivingLifeOfEase's post: In response to Godscreation's post: 

We don't learn anything without making mistakes. The mistake is what creates the learning.

I was watching my grandson learning to walk yesterday, falling down. He didn't treat the falling down as a mistake, Why not? Because he hasn't been taught that falling down is wrong, or that he should know better.

To me, the only mistake we make, is refusing to learn from a mistake.

And eventually we learn that too

As you identify less and less with the “me”, you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don’t have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last!

Anthony de Mello

 

In response to Spread a little happiness's post:

absolutely! so true, it is how we view mistakes. Your awesome grandchild-only sees what he is attempting to do...love that!  it is simply being where you are and who you are... in that moment and just loving it all

PERFECT!

To be truly happy and contented, you must let go of what it means to be happy or content. Confucius

 

 

 

"I am built from every mistake I have made"

Unknown

"If you want to grow, you need to get over any fear you have of making mistakes"

John C Maxwell

We all make mistakes, have struggles and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future"

Steve Maraboli

"Even the knowledge of my fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again"

Vincent Van Gough

"Don't carry your mistakes around with you. instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones"

Unknown

"You are strong when you know your weaknesses. You are beautiful when you know your flaws. you are wise when you learn from your mistakes"

unknown

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new"

Albert Einstein

"Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you"

Unknown

"Mistakes are the entrance of discovery"

Rumi

 

 

"You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren't busy denying them"

Rumi

Wonderful thoughts from Sri Sri where he talks about mistakes, blame and compassion

I am being positive with myself. I don`t beat myself up mentally over mistakes. I learn from my mistakes and setbacks; then I let them go so I can be a better, smarter person next time.