Deleting past mistakes and moving on

Having recently made some mistakes….I am looking for positive ways of using this experience. By feeling guilt or other negative emotions they could potentially embed themselves deeper into the subconscious and manifest. How do we delete old behaviour? How do we look positively at a mistake, make peace with it and move on so that we never make the same error again? Those little anxieties concerning the ‘thing’ you did, could develop subconsciously. Is it fighting the ‘little voices of reason’ to try and ‘delete’ them or is it better to fully accept and make peace with the mistake – or better still, find some positivity in it? Lessons learned?? Wisdom gained….?

Having searched the site for answers I came across Lee’s post in the ‘Today is the best part of your life’ Thread.

Lee Nutter’s post that writes:

*When I falter, I don’t beat myself up but accept that I could have done better, learn from my mistakes and accept any potential consequences of those actions. I then resolve to do better next time.

The infinite number of opportunities to practice is what makes today amazing. It’s what will make tomorrow amazing too. The infinite number of opportunities to learn from the past is what makes every yesterday amazing too*

:) I’m so glad you found my post and got something out of it!

As my post you quoted would suggest I’m definitely about acceptance. The way I see it, you don’t really have a choice. Denying it’s existence is just that – denial, and I’m not sure hypnotherapy is advanced enough to delete memories just yet :)

We’ve all done things we regret, and eventually we’ll have to suffer the consequences. This might be because someone else brings it up when things catch up to you, or when you uncover them when you realize how much they’re holding you back.

Either way, the fact you are experiencing ‘regret’ means that you’ve realized your mistake and have learned something from it. This means you’re less likely to make the same mistake again.

The regret is useful in this way. The mistake was made out of ignorance, and if you ‘deleted’ the memory, the things it taught you would be deleted too, leaving you ignorant of whatever it is that you learned.

There’s a saying that “ignorance is bliss” but your action, being a mistake, had unfortunate consequences for yourself or others. But mistakes are caused by ignorance, so if ignorance was bliss then the unfortunate consequences would not be experienced by you. And if your ignorance is causing others suffering, then you’ll be lonely in your bliss.

If the suffering caused by the unfortunate consequences of your mistake is seemingly unbearable, at the very least, you can find comfort in the fact that in learning what you did, you’ll prevent the further suffering of others when you are presented with a similar situation in the future.

In response to Lee Nutter’s post:
Thankyou so much for these wise words.
I totally agree with what you said about ‘deleting’ the error – it seems so simple. The entire experience and what you learnt from it are far more valuable than the mistake….and perhaps the universe’s way of protecting you from doing it again…?
I can see so many positives to bearing the consequences of mistakes. After all, its what makes us human. I have to remember not to beat myself up about such things – firstly accept, then learn and grow from it.
Thanks again! ;o)

Anoushka,
Your smart for wanting to be conscious of what you tell yourself. Because as human beings we are the most repettitive long playing machine in existence. The absolute coolest thing is you can replay any idea over and over again. There’s a trick to this replaying the good stuff though.
How TO REPLAY YOUR GOOD STUFF:
You have to truly care about yourself. If not, your positive suggestions will go on a faulty tape player.

You have to be in a constant nurturing mode.

And you have to be honest, so you will be congruent with your current belief system. If you don’t think you did something well, an affirmation saying I am great will sound ridiculous.

So if you made a mistake and you didn’t have all of the info->your self talk will be filled with forgiveness for where you were then. Add excitement and enthusiam with what you know now. And if ammends toward another is needed, you can more easily do so, because you’ve turned a corner. You are no longer where you were. It’s better than deleting
->it’s enhanced with experience and love.

Have gratitude that something has spurred you on to become more versed where you were lacking. And know that as time goes by, you’ll look back with even more gratitude that you’ve become quite skilled in an area that once you floundered with.

And , if you made a mistake, and on some level you feel you knew better
->still forgive yourself. Though this time, nurture yourself with the reality that you will utilize the info you have learned to date, and will progressively learn more in this area. And you will rise to the occasion with all of the info to put your best forward as similar experiences present themselves. Congratulate yourself, that the next time you’re given this opportunity you’ll be a master at it. And think of all of the reasons why and how as a motivator.

Totally agree with Lee, that we have infinite chances to better ourselves. I’d just like to add, use your time well to use opportunities,
with love, nurturing, honesty, and footwork to learn new behaviors. Practice your new behaviors, understanding, we don’t start out perfect.

My Lil’Analogy:
Picture a very messy closet with everything falling out on the floor. This is “all of your stuff”.
Take the time to look through your stuff. Some things may have gotten damaged because you stuffed it in there carelessly to keep it out of sight or just didn’t want to deal with it.

-Some things may be treasures you haven’t seen in a long time. You may be mad at yourself, because your trash is mixed with your treasures.

-You may be mad at yourself that someone saw how you keep your stuff.

Though what wasted energy, if we don’t just use our time to see what we have truthfully->to do what we have to do to gather up our treasures, to no longer get lost in our shuffle.So we handle our treasures with care. Throw out what we don’t need now, or maybe never really needed. And last but not least we need to be honest with our assessment, so we make good decisions. Forgive ourselves with the mess we’ve made, and know we never want to lose our treasures again, or not repair what still works. We will waste what we’ve ha all along and the good we’ve tried to acquire along the way.

-And whoever saw our/your closet, that doesn’t accept us/you, and allow us to move on, is not a nurturing caring friend. Because everyone has a closet, drawer, and some have entire houses filled with things they need to reassess. Just don’t waste time. Lovingly get started, and don’t listen to any voices that don’t allow you to get the job done.

In response to laurie- effectively & easily handles every challenge~‘s post:
I love your analogy! I need to nurture my stuff – you are so right. I have to nurture what I value and not throw it away. A silly dead end investment was badly informed. I now know better. More to the point, I truly (even more than before) value my salary and appreciate it dont want to take ignorant risks with it! Like with quitting smoking. I now choose to nurture and appreciate my stuff, my health, my money – not waste and misuse. (having said that, I am still working on the smoking -its all work in progress!)
My work today has been to ‘clean house’ – by forgiving myself, clearing up the mess in the closet and nurturing the wonderful stuff I have.
I have truly gone into a ‘Laurie’ frame of mind and I am liking it. The more I see, the more I want to see. I have hit such a learning curve in the midst of my stupidity!! I love you guys! You bring me such clarity!
;o)

Hello everyone,

I have made an abundace of mistakes and will still probably do it again. The difference is now I have a choice. Mistakes didn’t make me a bad person but taught me a few lessons. Sometimes it has been back to the drawing board for me. Recently I had a great revelation. That I worried about things I had no control over. Then I read Lee’s post about destructive behavior and realised I could change it if I wanted to. Thinking negative all day was easy how about thinking positive all day? That’s it!!!

Then a chain reaction happened. What am I worried about? Everything turns out the way it’s supposed to anyway might as well be happy instead. It took a load off my shoulders. Lee’s positive thinking caused him to start this website and look how many people are benefitting from it already! Today I felt strangely free! Everything is ok! Thank you Lee!!!

Peace,
Mary