Hi guys. It has been three yeas that I have been crying myself to sleep almost every night. Three years ago I got into a relationship for the very first time. That was when I was 18. I have always thought I was emotionally independent and capable because I grew up taking care of myself and my siblings. I never really thought I needed anybody.
And then I met someone. Since then, I was very emotionally independent on him. I always wanted him to be there. For 2 years, we had a long distant relationship and 5 months of those, we were married. I blamed him for making me cry. I am depressed when I do not see him or talk to him on the phone. I was a big mess. I knew that I can pull myself together but what stopped me was the thought that if I stopped trying, our relationship will become stagnant and will not go anywhere until eventually it will end altogether.
If there’s anybody out there who can help me by posting your comments, advice, or encouragements. I will not be relying on this site for a long time but I thought it will be a good start. Thanks in advance.
Hi K,
I am sorry for the hurt and pain you are going through. First thing, when you said “I never really thought I needed anybody” it says loud and clear that you NEEDED more love, caring, and attention yourself.
When you met him, you transferred that need to him… and that is just not working out. I am not criticizing you, what I say comes from my own life’s experiences, and I am saying things, hopefully with love.
You do not really ‘have’ a relationship… you are doing all the communicating, asking, wanting, and needing… and you are most likely being satisfied with the few crumbs you get… You deserve better.
You may now feel you cannot live without him — but you CAN… When you see him you need to boldly confront the situation… don’t settle for crumbs… you deserve SO much more.
Please work with Intentions. Say to yourself over and over: I INTEND FOR THE RIGHT THINGS TO HAPPEN WITH THIS PERSON… then turn it into an Affirmation: THE RIGHT THINGS ARE happening with this person and I will ‘see them’ and know what to do.
Please take good care of yourself and love yourself JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!! Someone will ‘pick up’ on that and love you right back!!
Betty / Bluesand