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★Fear - The Definitive Thread on Fear

This thread is for the ultimate discussion of fear. “Fear Itself”. Share opinions, stuff you have read about fear, research about fear, speculate… you get the picture. (I’m gonna’ come back and add some stuff later, but don’t be shy. Post away…

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

I instantly thought of yesterday’s Dilbert comic.

dilbert.com

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” maybe isn’t the best motivator to action if you’re fear-based.

It’s funny how fear is a matter of perception. 10 years ago the left said Bush was using fear to get us into Iraq. Now the right says Obama is using fear to get us to do healthcare or taxes or whatever.

I know people who are quite secure but live in fear of losing something. Personally, I don’t live in fear — mostly because I know eventually everything is lost so I might as well be grateful for what is temporarily not lost.

What are the questions we should ask about fear? Some things that come to my mind are: How and why do we need to examine our fears? Where does fear come from? What can we learn from fear? What are common fears? Are there things we are afraid of that we aren’t really aware that we are afraid of (things like success, or speaking up for what we believe and so on). What do respected people in history or success gurus or spiritual teachers say about fear? Can we find some really good articles to share that would help us out?

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

I did a search for “examine your fears” and got these articles. I haven’t even read them yet, just posting them.

Why It’s Important to Examine Your Fears by Jane Herman
An article on fear from GoodTherapy.org Therapy for Fear
How to Face Your Fears on Ehow
Some articles I found on a blog
An article on a site called Addiction Wellness Center about examining fears.
From a site called Healthy Lifestyle 3 Steps to Conquering Fear
Article about Learned Fear

Here are some from a “fear of success” search.
Overcome the Fear of Success: 6 Ways to Start Thriving
Are You (Subconsciously) Afraid of Success?
Fear of Success from Mind Tools
Steve Pavlina on Fear of Success
Article from Psychology Today
Tools For Dealing With The Fear Of Success

Fear & Fearlessness: What the Buddhists Teach
More Buddhist stuff
Freedom from Fear

(Not gonna look up stuff right now, but it would be interesting to add some stuff about how our fears can be exploited. Politicians come to mind.)

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

I went to Amazon to search for books about fear and the list was overwhelming. I will try to find some books with excellent reviews and post them.
Here are some that caught my eye.
Your Own Worst Enemy
Success is Not an Accident

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

I also want to find some good stuff on limiting beliefs. Fear and limiting beliefs, I believe, are closely related.

Check out number five on this list of podcasts from Steve Pavlina

Video about Finding Your Limiting Beliefs
Video about Coping with Fears and Identifying Triggers
Brian Tracy – Taking Smart Risks
Brian Tracy – One Hour Makes All the Difference
21 day mental diet

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

(:I am quite impressed with this thread SRWE.
I posted a video here a few weeks ago,
I decided to repost on another thread.
The gist of it was saying that some fear or the primal origin of most fear
is because most people don’t usually acknowledge the reality of mortality,
the issue tends to be stored in the sub or unconscious mind.
Most of us have heard about the book by Earnest Becker “the denial of death”
I read parts of the book,he says acknowledging or bringing the issue from the unconscious into the conscious is a good idea and tends to
eliminate fear considerably.

lots of links to explore… from the past, present looking forward to taking time for it… (:

Glad you brought this thread up. I’m going to go back through this stuff. First, before I do that, I wanna’ jot down a couple of things/words that popped into my mind.

Latent fear
Unexamined, Unknown or Unacknowledged fear
Also, fear of embarrassment.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

What are phobias all about?
Specific phobias:for ex;fear of travelling on a plane,there is a sports
commentater that has that specific fear,and has said many times that he
travels to various cites for NFL games in his custom made bus.
I think he has had that “phobia“since the 70s or 1980s.
And what’s up with elevator phobias,or agoraphobia.
Phobias are like mental blocks, some phobics eventually resolve there
specific phobia,through whatever means,and others cope with the fear or accept it,like the guy who has the fear of flying,travels in his custom bus.
And I suppose people who are elevator phobic use the stairs,if they can’t
dissolve the mental block or phobia.
Ultimately I think a phobia can be cured,but I would say until then don’t
be overly critical of oneself.
Consider this,you could have a spider phobia,yet absolutely no fear of
elevators.Also consider there could be a bright side to the phobia,that you are unaware of because it’s always been perceived negatively.

Here is one that crosses my mind – fear of approaching the prettiest girl in the room! I read a story about a guy who always got so nervous around women, especially pretty women that he simply could not talk to them. He talked to a therapist about his problem and his therapist gave him the cure. The therapist gave him a couple of assignments. First, he was to go out and talk to a hundred women he was NOT afraid to talk to, women he saw as mother, grandmother or sister types – women he wasn’t attracted to. Once he had talked to a hundred of those he was to move to phase two. Go to a mall and talk to 100 women he WAS attracted to, especially the ones he was MOST attracted to, the really, really beautiful ones. He was to, without being creepy, simply go up to these pretty women, introduce himself and ask them if they would like to get a cup of coffee. The therapist knew ahead of time that the guy would not likely need to talk to 100 and would get over his phobia well before he reached 100. Indeed, it did happen. The guy got over his fear and now not only has a girl he really likes as a person, she also happens to be beautiful. Nice bonus.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

That story make me think of self-consciousness. Self-consciousness I think is mostly about fear.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

In response to Smart_Routines_With_Enthusiasm’s post:
A few thoughts about the therapist story
a)I could have a different mindset in the future,but for now or today 3/21/16
I would need lots of booze to flirt with 100 woman regardless of there
looks.
b)Contrary to popular belief being single is not a disease.
c)This seems to be the reality at least these days,and try not to think too
much about it.Either I need to adjust my “frequency/vibration“to get some
sort of affair happening,or vice versa.That said a million dollars in the bank would pretty much take care of those trivial details.
And all of the sudden that ambiguous 3 pointer would become a proverbial
slam dunk.

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