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★Dwindling Family

How many of you have a family that is dwindling? The fact remains as we age, we will experience the loss of some very meaningful persons. For those of you who have experienced this phenomena, how are you these days?

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

Yes my family is dwindling on one end, my parents have gone. But we are experiencing births that more than replace the losses :)

Focus

My family certainly has dwindled over the years. I remember the Christmases when I was a little kid. Our family was so big and loving. I live with my brother now and we are both bachelors. This past Christmas we didn’t even celebrate Christmas on Christmas. Our two other siblings have families and in-laws of their own so they do things with their other families on Christmas. We celebrated with them the day after Christmas. There were only seven of us there. Six adults and one child.

I love my family dearly, but we don’t have meaningful talks. Honestly, I feel very alone in this world.

Man, I’m sorry for the sad post, but I guess I’m just a little down at the moment and feel like sharing with a few of you guys. I’m am greatful for having you to share with though.

I’m gonna’ go ahead and write a little more here…
I was thinking about the internet and loneliness earlier this evening. I wonder sometimes at how disconnected I am. I suspect that there is a sea of incredibly lonely people out there. I think of life in the United States, our society seems to have grown into one of disconnectedness. In our houses and apartments we sleep in buildings and neighborhoods surrounded by so many people, yet we know none of them. Neighborhoods are no longer neighborhoods. Neighbors are no longer neighbors. I sit here feeling sad and alone as I type this and I have only myself to blame. I know many of you here on bemindful are in relationships, yet I sit here so often full of feelings and emotions and ideas and share them with almost no-one.

The net seems to me like a huge city full of wonder and possibility with great treasures and dangers around every corner. I wander out looking for some secret trove of wisdom and knowledge that will finally make my life meaningful. BeMindful is one of the treasures in this vast megalopolis. I still grapple with feelings of being worthless at times, but nothing like I used to. Anyway, you guys know how I can ramble at times and I’m going to stop now. I just wanted to share a bit.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

In response to themadcookieman’s post:
smiles
Re: your comment on the U.S. society, it is the same here in mid/northern Europe.
Back home in Iran the relations are alot closer and warmer …. although also there it is changing and is dwindling. For us family has a higher value than in Europe and I suppose in U.S. also.
I tank alot of warm energy and love everytime I go for visit. Although my parents do not live anymore, I have my sisters, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins etc., most of whom are my good friends.

At some point I gathered that the one goes with the other: the nice clean environement, where there is a rule for everything and everthing is structured and works based on that (as it is in Germany and Switzerland), has the distanced relations and boundries in the relationships.
Whereas the warm and loving relations, which I experience in Iran contains some carefreeness and brings with it the chaos and the lack of rules in their society.

Now I ramble also!
While here at home (for me everywhere is home and home is nowhere :-O if that makes sense) I have my coworkers whom I love alot, who are my friends and family. (This worries my at times)
And I am greatful for having you bmindfuls. I get alot of energy here.

…what a wonderful world….

In many respects it seems the poorer countries are richer in some ways. Places where people have to rely on one another more.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

In response to themadcookieman’s post:
Wouldn’t call Iran poor though ;-)
Money just goes to the wrong places.

…what a wonderful world….

In response to freygan’s post:

That is exactly what has been happening here with my family, on my Dads side, we have lost family to illness and always without a doubt a bady is born. And sometimes a new addition is born around the same time as our lost families birthdays. My mother passed away on the 11th July 1996, my third daughter was born on the 7th July 2002, it makes it very special as she is the only one out of the family that was born around my mums passing.

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had a thought while I was writing my post before that I don’t really see my family more than say 3-4 times a year. I see my sister quite a lot, but the others are far away, we take a family vacation together once a year in Spring.

We are meeting up next weekend to do “Ching Ming” which is a grave sweeping day. We’re going to spend the whole day at the cemetery on Sunday, but lots of catching up over the weekend. Looking forward to that :) Lots :)

But I’m also part of a huge supportive and beautiful community where I live and I have lots of “family” from all over the world come and stay with me. My home is open all the time, I never lock my doors, in fact, I don’t have a key to my house.

Perhaps created family can supplement or replace blood family? I feel very close to the people I see everyday, where as I love my family, but feel less able to share things I would with my friends?

Focus

In response to freygan’s post:
That is beautiful. I’d love to hear more about the people that stay w/you. and what’s this? No key to your house??? Wow!!!!!!!!

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

I have a very large family. My mother was from a family of five children. My aunts & uncles from her side each had between 5 and 8 children. My own mother had seven children. I have five children and one grand daughter. There are cousins galore for my children to play with. We are not the normal family in America, but probably very typical for our culture. If I didn’t have all my sisters, I don’t know what I’d do. My niece (who is in her mid 30’s) has children my kids age. WE go to the same gym together. Our kids play in the daycare together. Believe me, when we show up with six kids, they notice! :) I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

With a family that has pretty much dwindled down to a handful of people on my side of the family (ones that are left are scattered around); I’ve made it my goal to keep my relationships as meaningful as possible. Life is short, so I try to make all encounters real and loving (from the heart). I also try to keep myself as healthy as possible, so I have a ‘decent’ energy to exchange with others.

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

In response to meditatingmama’s post:
You have a grand doughter and that is a recent picture of you??!!!!!! WOW! Hats off (as they would say around here).

Although I am pretty much far from my family and many of my friends (I have close friends in various countries), I feel very close to them. We might not see eachother often or talk often, I do feel their love and I am sure they feel mine. And when we do talk, it is as if it was yesterday we talked the last time.
As to my parents and grandmother, who are gone, I still do talk to them once in a while, although they are getting more and more distant. My grandmother was my guardian angle for the longest time.

Laurie, I like what you said: try to make all encounters real and loving (from the heart).
I will use this as an affirmation, cause I find it difficult sometimes.

…what a wonderful world….

In response to aftab’s post:
Our family doesn’t waste any time birthing those babies!! :) (hehehe) I was 22 years old when I had my daughter and she was 20 when she had hers. Although my generation doesn’t arrange the marriage of our children like my parents did for us, it still seems they marry young and have families early. :)

Laurie, I’ll bring you home to mine!! :) We’ll adopt you!! :) Um, you aren’t afraid of animals are you? There are lots of cows, horses, dogs, chickens, rabbits, cats, birds, squirrels also hanging around here. Just watch where you are steppin’… :)

(((( HUGS & SMILES ))))

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

Last night my sister left us.
She suffered from MS for 35 or so years and the past 10 she was mostly in bed and not realy with us.
Although I said goodbye to her every time I was there for a visit in atleast the past 5 years if not longer. And the past month, we actually prayed for her to get relieved.
I am very sad and miss her alot. It is as if an era has been closed.
(Although I should be happy for her)

I allow myself to be sad and morn. I thank her for all she has taught me and I love her.

…what a wonderful world….

I am so deeply sorry for your loss aftab. I don’t know what to say, but my heart goes out to you.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

Feel your feelings and treasure your memories and know that your strong and loving heart will heal stronger for having had your sister in your life. So sorry for your loss. Jan

In response to aftab’s post:
I too, am so sorry for your loss. In time, may all of your memories only serve to keep you warm and comforted .
Much Love(:

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

Aftab,

I totally understand your relief of her to be out of pain and yet mourn the loss of your sister. I had the same feelings when my mom had cancer.

I am sending you peace in this your time of need.

Warmest love, Mary

I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.

In response to aftab’s post:

Oh Afbab ((Big Cuddle)) My deepest condolences to you. I am so sorry to hear of your sister passing. I want to sending my warmest love and thoughts for you and to reassure she will always be by your side for ever more. Lots of love Dee xx00xx

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you so much everyone. Your words mean alot to me.
Cann’t be thankful enough :-)

…what a wonderful world….

Big hugs from me as well. I haven’t been around much lately, but am catching up now.

Laurie, my friends are people who I know from Rainbow, we gather together sometimes to remember we are all one.

Focus

In response to freygan’s post:
Did you already tell me what Rainbow is?

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

In response to laurie’s post:
Laurie, Rainbow is everywhere, it’s all over the world. There are gatherings everywhere. However the next world gathering is in New Zealand, which I am planning to attend. Freya

Focus

In Response to aftab’s post:
I am a little behind in reading these posts, but I too am sending love and light to you and yours. My dad pasted several years ago and I still miss him, but I think of him often. In some ways, I am closer now that he has passed. He visits me often in my dreams and still guides me in important decisions and things. All I have to do is ask him about things and he shows up. He doesn’t talk much, but he will give me a big grim or smile and let me know things are okay. He is very much alive and well in my memories. He also suffered much in his last years and I was relieved when he passed. I knew he was no longer in pain and that made all the difference to me.

Words are like seeds. When you write them out, they grow into your dreams and spark the imagination of others.

In response to aftab’s post:
{{{{{{hugs }}}}}}}

Many warm prayers and huge for you and your family. Only just catching up on threads from having been away. I hope these last few days have been healing for you and your family.

In response to Poppy’s post:
I know what you mean Poppy about feeling those who have passed always with you.

My mom was a vibrant lady. Her joyous intonations for all lifes’ blessings seem to surround me even more..If that’s possible(:

And in re:to my Dad, who was resourceful with life on life’s terms, I can just feel what he would think is important in areas that are in my best interest.

I can’t change what is, but I can take in the gifts they continue to give me.

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

How timely that you would post just today in response to my last post on this thread. My brother in law died suddenly last Tuesday. A terrible accident. He was working on his jeep and it shifted and fell on him. He was a mechanic and had worked on cars all his life.

Words are like seeds. When you write them out, they grow into your dreams and spark the imagination of others.

In response to aftab’s post:

Aftab I am so sorry your sister left you. It hurts no matter what someone says to try and comfort you. This is what we all have to go through this is part of life. For me I really dislike this part. At some point I must give in to realize that there is nothing I can do about it. It’s good for you to talk about it. I heard a man say on tv the other day that he studied his family members faces, hair and the way they smelled.

When they passed he would go into meditation and remember all those things about them and it was as if he could visit with them even though they were not physically here anymore. It sounded wonderful because then the thought of them being gone wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. The mind is powerful and can help in difficult times.

Peace,
Mary

In response to themadcookieman’s post:

MCM you have said so many honest and truthful things. We live in a society that forgets people and worships money and material things. It is very very true that there are a lot of lonely people in this world. There have been times that I have been in a restaurant and see people sitting by themselves eating alone. I have approaced some and asked could I join them and some have asked me! Some have said NO right out others have said, “yes I would love that.” I cannot deny that it is very uncomfortable at first but then it gives you a new feeling of power. You never know what wonderful people you’ll meet.

I suspect most people on the internet are lonely otherwise there wouldn’t be so many people on it. If we are not lonely it is because we have busy lives with a lot of people in it who communicate with each other. Others sadly act as if they have a full life because it embarresses them to tell the truth. I am sure there are those who are on it just for fun. I know you will pass this feeling of loneliness because it happens to all of us.

It does not bother me to hear someone speak the truth from their heart on the contrary it is very refreshing. May your day be filled with happiness.

Hugs,
Mary

In response to Poppy’s post:
I am so very sorry for your loss Poppy. My prayers go out to you and your family.
I hope to hear how you are doing. Please stay in touch.

Love, Laurie

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

In response to themadcookieman’s post:
I know you wrote this some time ago, I’m hoping and knowing your todays are more and more-> fulfilling with rewarding friendships.

Actually I hope all of us on this site are always surrounded with loving connections in life, and give us opportunities of experiencing the best of the best with other people.

Jeff, as I’ve mentioned to you before,whether this is cyber-world or not..you are an important friend in my life.

I acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, and grateful to know you, and as Mary said your honesty is always refreshing.

Loneliness is a state any of us could find ourselves in, especially when we are desiring certain types of connections, and or experienced considerable losses. Though the cool thing about sites like this,. is not only is their opportunity to meet wonderful people->you also have opportunities to get a stronger more joyous relationship with your true self and your understanding of a Higher Power. Gratitude grows where your love shows.

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

In response to laurie- worksout-daily&w/everything she’s got~ ~‘s post:
I really like the way you put it— ‘Gratitude grows where your love shows’ the other way around is equally powerful- ‘ Love shows where gratitude grows.’

We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon.

As far as this thread goes I feel the same as most of you. Families are dwindling and so is the love/care/time for those who matter the most.
Here in India, family is very important. The prime focus is to keep the family together but things are changing and changing very fast. Over the years I feel we have got more and more ambitious and in the process forgotten our roots. For that matter my parents who did so much for me and my siblings when we were growing up are now living alone. Most parents dream big for the kids and want the best for them, resulting in an empty nest during their twilight years. Its actually very sad to see elderly people staying alone, at the mercy of a maid/driver/neighbour for their medical and emotional needs/security.
why is it so important to succeed in the monetary or performance terms? what about success in terms of being a good mom, good daughter, good daughter-in-law, good neighbour, good employer, good care giver…… why are there no rewards for the ordinary? Every time the news/magazines/tv etc tell us about the extra-ordinary and that is what we want to do/become…. at the cost of being ordinary!!!!

We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon.

In response to SONIA’s post:

Sonia you are so right. What’s wrong with being ordinary? Everyone wants to be a superhero or star yet they start to take drugs to cope with the fame. We have come to put money and richs before people. Yet the world is going through a rough change because they are so lonely. When people tell me what are your goals in life Mary. I tell them to be peaceful and happy.
They look at me as though I am a loser.

That’s ok because at some point they come to learn that simplicity, peace
and happiness is what ALL people want yet they run after material things that don’t matter.

Peace,
Mary

In response to godscreation’s post:
Thanks Mary.
Sometimes living and striving for happiness does leave you feeling lonely in your goals, but here at bmindful there is always support. Thanks to all of you.
:)

We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon.

My Uncle Harley had, I’m sure, a stroke today. Please say a prayer for him. He woke up today and was having trouble finishing his sentences and was having a hard time finding his words. He can still get around alright (considering he’s 85) and simply refused to go to the doctor today. He’s on his way now because we kept insisting. He well over six feet tall and if Uncle Harley doesn’t want to do something, you simply aren’t going to make him. He’s a really cool guy and he’s someone you would like a lot if you knew him. He’s my last Uncle and when he’s gone he’ll be the last one from my Mom and Dad’s generation that I’m close to that will have made the journey. Here’s to my Uncle Harley – WWII Vet, A Good Father, A Good Uncle, A Good Man! Anyway, I just wanted to ask you guys for some support and remind you guys to say a little prayer for your own loved ones today.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

In response to themadcookieman’s post:
Done(:

I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions, Sensations ,
& Feelings

In response to themadcookieman’s post:
My prayers are for the good health and happiness of Uncle Harley. Good souls encounter wonderful relatives like you who care so much.
God bless you and Uncle Harley.

We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon.

hi madcookieman ,saying a prayer and lighting a candle to send ypu loving thougfhts for you and your uncle Harley ,love flowergirl

My thoughts are with uncle Harley.

…what a wonderful world….

Sad to lose that last connection to that generation of your family. I bet he knew he was blessed and appreciated through you. Look at those stars… Hugs, Jan

Thanks everyone. You guys are aces!

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

Even in your grief MCM you still wish love to others. My prayers are with your uncle. As always many many blessings to you.

Love Mary

Hi I said a prayer and will keep praying for your uncle Harley and sending get well wishes.Praying also for you for strength& your family.Here are a few Bible verses you might like to read.Matthew 21:22,Psalm 46:1,Psalm86:7,Micah 7:8,Psalm27:1.And Isaiah41:10 it saids:“Do not fear for I am with you.” 1Samuel 10:7 saids:“God is with you.“and John 14:27 saids:“Peace I leave with you,My peace I give you.“Amen.Stay focus and keep strong.!!! God Bless.

hi madcookieman ,sending youloving thoughts and prayers ,love flowergirl

Thanks for all your prayers. I have wonderful new about Uncle Harley. He did NOT have a stroke and his speech is almost completely back to normal. He had a blood clot that dislodged and went to his brain. Now I know that sounds bad and I’m sure it can be, but they are giving him a series of shots – two a day – to dissolve the clot. That is great, great news as far as I’m concerned. We are keeping an eye on him. Thank you again for all of your prayers. I appreciate you guys.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

hi cookieman thats great news ,what a lovely start to the day .love flowergirl

Thanks guys. I’ve never read that, but I’m read The Power of Intention by Dwyer.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
— Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
I’m Alright
Life Less Ordinary

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