★Affirmations Don't Work

@WordCures linked this article on Twitter and I thought it was straightforward, easy to understand and obviously relevant to bmindful. It’s a re-printable article so I just pasted the whole text here including the credits at the bottom:

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Affirmations. You gotta love them. Either that, or you’re not quite sure what they are. One thing’s certain. Affirmations do work. Your thoughts and words are most definitely the precursors for the actions and material results you see around you. The person who doesn’t observe the connection probably doesn’t quite appreciate how powerful their words really are.

Most likely, if you’re familiar with the phrase “positive affirmation,” you think of it as a catchy little phrase to memorize and repeat occasionally when you think about it. Maybe something you post on your refrigerator or carry around in your wallet. An effortless Pollyanna trick that claims to magically transform your life. Repeat the affirmation a few times and “poof” your life turns around.

There’s an extra cool million in your checking account, Prince Charming has landed in the backyard, and you just received the deed to your dream home — tax free. You’re a perfect size 1, any stray gray hairs have miraculously returned to their natural (blonde) color, and you just finished the neighborhood 10K first in your age group — sweat free! That sort of thing.

Affirmations? They’re magic!

Or are they? Nah. That’s just foolish talk. “I tried affirmations once,” your brain reasons. “They didn’t work.”

Or how about this one? “Maybe they work for other people. But they don’t work for me.”

A few years ago I was on the phone with a wellness coaching client. That was basically her take on things. Sally told me she had been doing prosperity affirmations for months, but her savings balance was still about the same and she still had to work for a living. She was thoroughly disgusted with my suggestion that she consider a self-talk makeover.

I inquired as to whether she had taken any constructive action toward bringing in more money.

“Of course!” she replied. Turns out her constructive action was simple enough. She consistently picked up any loose change she found lying around on the sidewalk.

“I really didn’t expect it to work,” she continued. “But I figured I’d give it a shot anyway, just in case.”

Sally, while well-intended, had made two strategic errors in her approach to working with affirmations. They have to do with her expectations. Let’s briefly explore both errors and see how they might be turned around for greater success.

Strategic error #1. First, Sally expected the affirmation to manifest itself in her life “magically” — without any real effort on her part, short of remembering to recite the phrase once in a while.

This fallacy is pretty common, and it’s one of the most typical reasons that affirmations really don’t work. While it’s true that people do occasionally win the lottery, more frequently the affirmation’s “miracle” is one of inspiration or connection.

• While working with your prosperity affirmations, you suddenly have a business idea. What a coincidence! Didn’t Jane just start putting together a business plan for her latest brainstorm?
• While working with relationship affirmations, the image of that sweet new guy in accounting happens to “pop” into your head. Wonder if he’s single?
• While working with your healthy boundaries affirmations, you suddenly become inspired to take up karate training and remember you just drove past a dojo that looked interesting.

In any case, the success formula is the same. You hold a picture of your desired goal in mind. You visualize it as accomplished and speak the language of its manifestation. Suddenly, a new idea “pops” into your head. Maybe it’s a completely new idea… Or something you once considered, and then rejected as impractical. Now, incredibly, it seems within your reach.

Thinking more expansively than you had before, this time you follow through. Commitment, focus, and persistence somehow propel you through obstacles that might have otherwise threatened to overwhelm you. You are successful. Your intention is realized. There is a magical ease to the way things fall into place. Nonetheless, you really did do the legwork.

Had Sally, for example, taken the initiative to turn her sewing hobby into an evening and weekend business, she might have ultimately found herself on a different path to riches.

Strategic error #2. Second, sensing on some level that her strategy was unrealistic, Sally didn’t expect it to work.

So here Sally was, reciting the positive affirmation. Let’s imagine it went something like this, “I am abundantly wealthy.” Let’s imagine that she had taped the affirmation to her bathroom mirror and recited it each morning while blow-drying her hair.

Meanwhile, she had to get through the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day. Who can guess what might have been going through her head?

• I hate this job. It’s so stressful! They should really pay better.
• So many bills! It seems hopeless. How am I ever going to get on top of them?
• I am such a procrastinator!
• I can hardly wait for the weekend. Man, I hate this job.
• What a loser. You’d think I could have done better for myself than this.
• And so on…

Well… those are all affirmations, too!

So while Sally “hoped” that reciting positive affirmations for a few minutes each morning would be enough to change the tide of her life, her “expectation” was that things would continue along as they always had. The running commentary her mind provided throughout the day confirmed it. And her results were just as she expected. Things in her life stayed pretty much the same.

Affirmations really do work. The thing to do, though, is to integrate them into your day. Voice your expectation for success in your own language throughout the day. Refuse to entertain the language of failure. When inspiration strikes, as it surely will, follow through without delay!

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Elizabeth Eckert coaxes, cajoles, and gently guides the creation of healing intent. She’s the founder of http://www.wordcures.com and author of Word Cures: How to Keep Stupid Excuses From Sabotaging Your Health Align your whole self for health … starting today! Share “Arielle’s” real-life success story and optimize your own natural healing energy

This is my favorite part:

“Affirmations really do work. The thing to do, though, is to integrate them into your day. Voice your expectation for success in your own language throughout the day. Refuse to entertain the language of failure. When inspiration strikes, as it surely will, follow through without delay!”

Thanks, Laurie. That’s my favorite part, too!

In response to Lee Nutter’s post:
You know, I have to tell you,(and others(: ) I’ve been using the thread With Fresh Eyes , for awhile now, and I’m so pleased to share how that thread has assisted me. I have many examples, though I’d like to mention something to everyone that happened last night.

I was woken up by a wrong number-call at 3:00am, and my first thought after I got back into bed to go back to sleep was one of irritation. Though my next thought after that, and all thoughts that followed were my affirmations I had written in that thread.; they just came to me effortlessly. Those positive thoughts seemed to cradle my subconcious/conscious-mind, to return to sleep, and to think/feel/believe all that I want for myself is in the works.

It’s pretty amazing, how much power we do have over our thoughts. I’m amazed how many indivduals go on believing, the opposite and needlessly suffer. I am so grateful for that thread. It’s truly one of my favorite places to go on the site!

Has anyone else had great experiences by writing out their affirmations for the next day in detail?

Some repeat over and over again they are wealthy. I believe, if a person believes they can and should have wealth, the knowledge of the footwork, and the energies that support this will follow. I believe in gradual, logical affirmations that speak to my heart and my mental blocks.

— In re: to affirmations, I can only speak in terms of my own experiences. My affirmations, on the fresh eyes thread ;writing out in advance my day-> has had a dramatic effect on my day for me. There, I give myself permission for the best of the best, as I understand my own life, in a prayerful way.

I’ve chosen affirming statements before, that have felt in some categories (ex.finances) like it’s fighting through some other thought I hadn’t let go of yet. Maybe I didn’t totally believe what I was saying, or dealing w/myself from a place that skipped over footwork, I needed to engage in. So I then work on me, asking important questions about what could be blocking me. Time, experience and prayerful thought assists me in answering questions re:myself. I can feel in my gut, when I’m true to myself.
For example w/finances: I want to have more comfort and financial security. I have felt a block toward that happening. Now that I have freed up “something”, I can now do more footwork in that area. My gradual, logical, emotional, (and prayerful) affirmations are making a difference.
When I state my affirmation for the day, it has felt awesome, logical and believable to my subconscious and conscious mind, and allowing myself to accept right where I am, so I can finally begin to change my circumstances, where before, felt more obstacles. I now feel more of that ‘flow’ more often than not.

My finances have not yet changed where I can see anything tangible.
Though, now I believe they are in process.

In Re:To Helping Others
And sometimes, ‘somehow’ others let me ‘know’ who they are where it counts, and ‘something’ assists in my helping them. It isn’t a perfect science for me w/others, though feedback is often positive. *The only person, I can help the most, most of the time(and should be) is myself. By doing this(1) I help myself, and (2)set an example for those who want anything that works for me. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say, I enjoy when I can help others. I just know it is in my best interest, to focus more on my own growth in life.

In response to laurie’s post:

In the article Lee has posted, I found several things that I would like to re-affirm:

1.“Your thoughts and words are most definitely the precursors for the actions and material results you see around you.”

2. …“Thinking more expansively than you had before, this time you follow through. Commitment, focus, and persistence somehow propel you through obstacles that might have otherwise threatened to overwhelm you. You are successful. Your intention is realized.”

3. “Refuse to entertain the language of failure.” I add, or negative self-talk, including negative thinking.

And Laurie I think you are 100% right and wrong in thinking the only person you can help is yourself. Yes the only change you can manifest in yourself comes from you. And yes by helping others you also open the door to helping yourself. Unlike you, I try not to balance out focusing on my own personal growth and helping others, I try to totally focus on helping, or serving others. When I do that, the universe always takes care of me.

In my experience, I have found that you get what you give. It is one of those things that to have more of…., you have to give it away freely and without expectation.

To have a friend, be a friend
to have more love give more love away
To have more power give power away
Too have respect, give respect—— etc.