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★Addiction +

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

this is a good thread as it is often one of those subjects avoided and yet here at bmindful we could be the people someone turns to for help in overcoming their addiction,without us even knowing .

There is usually an empty space inside or a need to block things out which various addictions often seem to help with .

Is addiction the same as habit ?

I smoked for years ,then stopped when I was pregnant .Then about 12 years ago I was drinking wine alone every evening and decided to stop ,and have never smoked or drank alcohol since

The hardest part for me was actually deciding to stop ,once I made that decision the determination kicked in .

I am now cutting out a habit that I have had for years ,forcing down emotions with sugar binges in bed early morning and last thing at night .
This is my hardest one to give up for some reason .I am replacing it with self care ,journalling ,lavender baths ,affirmations,meditating ,reiki,listening to lovely music and being kind to myself instead of being mean to me .

I don’t know if mine were addictions or habits but they all were part of my life and gave me the empathy and understanding to care about and for anyone who is struggling with an addiction or caring for someone with one .
They can be beaten once you make that decision .

Love and peace Flowergirl

…admiration for those who dedicate their energy into giving themselves a life that works well. …prayers for those who are still struggling.

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

Thank you mara ,it is not always easy to give things up .

I’m looking at how I desire my life to be ,especially as today I stop the bed binges .

Do I want to stuff my feelings down or do I want to step up to life as the Goddess,Queen ( Maiden ,Mother ,Queen ,Crone ) wise woman, earthmother ,peacemaker ,and creative ,peacefull,soul that I am inside

I wish to become more spiritual and learn and grow as “a child of the universe “.

As I learn about Great Father Spirit and Mother Earth I am drawn into a place of looking backwards with compassion ,forwards with joy and hope and being in the present with gratitude and awe

As I let go of years of inner blockages there is space for so much to come into me .

Love and peace ,flowergirl

My name is Arnold I am an alcoholic and an addict. oh wait wrong site…
lol. This is very true for me and I respect my nature as a human being. I do understand that feeling of lack of control. I also understand that the FEELING of control is an illusion. We believe we are in control but actually we are just going with the flow. When you decide to turn against the flow is when you FEEL the absence of control. I no longer need drugs or alcohol to help with this feeling. Instead of focusing on my use and abuse, I focus on what FEELS good. This will then multiply exponentially, no exceptions.

I am not an addict of drugs, alcohol or gambling, or sex…

But when I went through a very painful divorce, which followed a very unhealthy marriage, my pain was intractable. After being divorced for two years, the pain was not better, and I knew without a doubt that I was not getting better, and I needed a miracle…

In desperation, I googled on pain, different pathways. I kept bumping into sites for AA. I went to an “open” AA meeting. I just listened, I didn’t speak. The truth is, I was searching, trying to find something to make sense of the terrible and inconsolable ocean of pain…

Well, welcome to class! I was not an alcoholic and neither was my ex, going to the AA class helped… In fact, it was the only thing that helped ease the pain. I was sitting in this crowded room, listening to everyone speak, and tell their truth. I listened to people tell how they lied, cheated, stole money, ruined marriages, ignored their dependent children, manipulated parents and lied to bosses, destroyed careers, destroyed trust, stole money….. on and on. I felt riveted, absolutely positively uplifted because, something made sense; IT FIT… Listening to them tell the truth about the terrible things, unforgivable things they consciously perpetrated on loved ones was life altering.

Listening to them, listening to them telling the truth about their ruthless indifference was the only thing that helped me. I was sitting in a crowded room, filled with people who were absolute two legged vortex’s of destruction… Many were utterly without conscience. Many were absolutely vacant, and largely without remorse. Hungry ghosts. and, even as they sat back and talked about how they brought themselves to AA, and how they regained control of their life, the damage they brought was incalculable.

I did not need to stay in the meetings long, but I stayed long enough. I bought books, and I reclaimed, reinvented, repurposed my life and my priorities. My understanding of what happened to me is what brought me peace and the beginning of closure. I practice mindfulness and daily positive affirmations as I embrace who and what and where I am.

Many people may not appreciate the barreness, the depravity of what its like to have some one like this in your life. It’s unbelievable.

Like others who have been hurt by loved ones who struggle with alcohol or addiction, the impact is staggering, knows no limit. Its untold, incalculable harm. However, it takes very pure commitment, utter purity of heart, Utter purity of WILL, to recovery, to learn to live outside of the pain or learn to live with the pain and reclaim oneself.

Tag: addiction, recovery, reclaiming, repurposing

“Understanding whats happening to you is not going to save you!

If you’re on board of the Titanic, and the ship is sinking, and someone tells you to get off the ship, and you stand there and say I’m not going anywhere until I understand whats happening… you’re going to drown!”

short short video How do I show my love without enabling?

came across this basic – minute and 1/2 video defining enabling in a recovery setting. blessings to all.

I emphasize basic … because this is an area which has good rules… the lessons which reinforce for each person are surely learned in depth … in each circumstance. blessings to all.

…admiration for those who dedicate their energy into giving themselves a life that works well. …prayers for those who are still struggling.

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

“Addiction is an entity“Marrissa f
Compulsive gambling,what could I possibly share on that subject?
My personal experience.
As incomprehensible as it may seem,that entity costs me a fortune.
My personal experience with that addiction should be in a book.

 

Water is cold be advised may cause shrinkage, just think of it as a visit to your psychiatrist.

Water is cold be advised may cause shrinkage, just think of it as a visit to your psychiatrist.

Eckhart Tolle quotes on addiction, taken from clips of the Power of Now:

“The ego consciousness has the following characteristics:
fear, need, lack, and incompleteness.

“Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain.”

“Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain.”

“You’re using something (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, power) to cover up your pain.”

“Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work anymore. Then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.”

Addiction does not cause the pain and unhappiness
but addictions bring out pain and unhappiness that is already with in you.

I CAN THINK OF A FEW POSITIVE ADDICTIONS.
I MAY DECIDE TO MAKE EXERCISE MY ADDICTION.

Water is cold be advised may cause shrinkage, just think of it as a visit to your psychiatrist.

I am totally surprised that many, many, many more people are not contributing their thoughts to this thread.

Addiction is such a massive issue, its unlikely to meet a single human being who has not been impacted or wounded in some measure by the rampage of addiction. Addiction touches all SEC, socio-economic classes, and it touches all cultures who have access to either drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling…

For me personally, it has now been 6 years since my divorce and I am doing great. I exercise, go to the gym, I am on court with my career and will be returning to school for fall 2015, and I have achieved healthy balance in my life. At the moment, I am between jobs, and I stay focused, stay positive, stay active, and practice mindfulness continuously.

My heart is healthy, and I experience deeply, gladness and serenity. I have grown into a woman who has learned to live on her own terms. I study scripture, and I use scripture as if the words and instructions were medicine. I grab onto scripture, and I do not let it go…

I have traveled many paths, which I am grateful for all that my life journey has provided. My heart still has flashes of bitterness, pain, depravity, impossibility, and with every single episode, I honor my self by pausing, and embracing and loving my self by not fighting the flashes. I have learned to recognize when the blame game is approaching, that I need to immediately go inside, and determine where in my life I am loosing my inner peace.

I allow my self to be present to and to appreciate all of the love that I felt and I am OK now . It is OK with me, it is well with me. I know that in order to release the experience, I must love it so that I can move on and be responsible for all of my joy…

Its ok with me to love and embrace more deeply my commitment to love my self by honoring and releasing these flashes. The intensity has been reduced immensely, and I immediately refocus on all of the good things— which are too numerous to count. The pain is really just a memory of the pain, the horrible pain, although that memory is thinly veiled, and I am aware of my power to choose…

Back to the forum room, I sincerely hope that others will jump in and share their lives. Thats what makes this forum powerful, is relatedness and openness.

It is very liberating to grant your self the freedom to be open, and more importantly, to claim and take back your power of and the ownership of your choices, your voice and—- your JOY!!!

I agree with the words of Eckart Tolle, that before addiction, there is fear, pain, lacking and incompleteness.

That is completely true.

The seeds of fear, pain, lacking and incompleteness are the basic ingredients necessary for any and every addiction.

In response to Kathi’s post1: In response to Kathi’s post2
Kathi, I want to thank you for your openness in sharing on Bmindful… Wow!

That is not just for this topic listed on this page-addiction…though in general. In general of course, it is important for members to be as specific/vague as they desire…though…the call to share is what forum is to be equated with…

There are many ways to attempt to say something/share…and all will have their styles….I’m looking forward to taking you up on this invitation.

And a very important thing which you bring out so well… is SHARING. And to know …that was the original purpose/intent of the forum… almost everything one can state…someone somewhere can relate to…on some vast continuum. And whether it be the joy we want allow more of…. or that moment of need for deep compassion to be wherever you are or were…. it can often be something that assists a person for their day…(in the moment…where we all attempt to live more in) ….or ideas for the future…which we contemplate regularly and work toward, or are infamous pasts which brought us to this moment. So I thank you for sharing…very much. Appreciating˚

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

Thank you Appreciating.

The thing about sharing is when you have no shame about who you are and what happened to you, you allow your self access to having open conversations. And, sometimes, the conversation has a lot of veracity, because its powerful and its forward moving to have conversations which are valuable, life affirming and forward moving.

That freedom is the reward of giving voice to the whats so… You giving voice to your truth is access to this power.

Transforming “being stopped” by fear or shame.

In response to Kathi’s post1: In response to Kathi’s post2
The ticket I took from this..is share what is in your heart(:

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

WOW u all have moved me very very much so.

I have a brother my middle brother lets just make this part short we had a very traumatic childhood and had much loss of parents at very young ages and were all three of us on our own and did not stick together like we should have ok with that said, my brother also just 4 years ago lost his wife.

He has always had issues with alcohol major problems but he got it under control the loss of his wife which is from Liver disease due to the alcohol in turn, turned him right back to the alcohol, so yes pain is very much involved this thread has helped me “understand” and maybe be more empathetic lets just say towards him I try and try to get him on the phone it is so hard he is so angry yelling etc he ask me for pills money etc, I am at a loss but I just wanted to say after reading this I have a way better understanding of this addiction issue, it is an illness. He is now like me diagnosed with Mental Health and Wellness issues and is abusing those meds as well but now not drinking.

I just do not understand why it is so hard to support him like why I can not get through, when I have, NOT advertising here, but I have run and owned a mental health and also substance abuse on line support group for 8 years why is it I can support people I do not know, and get through to them so to speak help them see the light, but with my own blood my brother whom we had such a tight relationship, and I love dearly, it bothers me that I can not seem to even communicate without him screaming at me.

I hope this is appropriate here I would love to get him on this site he just needs to release all the negative we had major negativity growing up but he can not seem to let it go, I bought him a computer but of course he sold it, Okay I am gonna stop cause I think this is inappropriate to post, but I just wanted to say thank you really, seeing someone you love in that position and there is no reaching them hurts a great deal, I tend to block it out of my mind, my other brother the eldest simply states that you can not help someone who does not want to help themselves, but I still feel bad not being able to reach him so to speak when I have reached countless others…..

I love him dearly but I am going to re read this and re read this and hopefully reach out to him again

GREAT POST

LOL Jan peace

PS/ I also want to say I have many many writings they are moving yes but I do not understand what is the rules I guess I should say, about what and where to post something and also when I first joined a very long time ago someone told me I was posting wrong which I was no worries I was posting more like it was a support group.

So I must say other than my positive writings I do not know how to post I guess?? But this was a GREAT read all of you gave me a valuable resource into this, appreciation out to all of your honesty I have never had a addiction problem but many of my loved ones have or had This was very insightful….

Have Faith
Give More
Expect Less
Be true to you :)

“Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times, they can only make you
stronger!”

“There is no such thing as lack, unless it is accepted!”

I sent this one to someone here below this, and she liked it so I think it fits this topic I also put them on web sites under anonymous just my quotes not my poetry though=D

“Every struggle in life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for your hard times, they can only make you stronger!”
That one for me I live by!!

LOL Peace always Jan

Have Faith
Give More
Expect Less
Be true to you :)

“Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times, they can only make you
stronger!”

OOPS apologies I have it in my signature well like I said I live by it, it is like a permanent affirmation for me so to speak!!

Jan

Have Faith
Give More
Expect Less
Be true to you :)

“Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times, they can only make you
stronger!”

Thank you Lake Placid.

I understand all that you’ve commented.

Young people really need mentoring. And, they need mentoring by elders who have a generous amount of wisdom and understanding. You mentioned adolescents, and I agree that it is such a critical phase of development, it can’t be overstated really.

Regardless of age, its never too late to do the right thing. And maybe the self destruction was a necessary part of their lesson, otherwise it would not be occurring. And that next, that impossible step back into sobriety is also necessary. Whatever is happening inside of those AA meeting is very powerful. Getting up and going to meeting is a very powerful and necessary step in the right direction.

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS ROBERT AND KATHI.
I AGREE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS KATHI,
AA WAS MY ONLY RECOURSE YEARS AGO,AND I ADOPTED OR REMEMBER CERTAIN
PRINCIPLES CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY THAT ARE USEFULL ON OCCASION.
ANYWAY THOUGHTS TO SHARE LATER,CURRENTLY I AM COPING WITH BACK PAIN
NOT THROUGH ABUSING PAIN MEDS BECAUSE I’VE BEEN THERE DONE THAT.
MOSTLY THROUGH INTUITION OR CONNECTING THE PAIN AND MY BRAIN,AND
THEN I LISTEN FOR WHAT ADVICE MY BRAIN SUGGESTS.
MILD YOGA POSTURES USUALLY.
CHAT LATER
NAMASTE

Thanks, Lake Placid.

I sincerely agree, listening and paying attention to our body IS real wisdom. Daily mindfulness is very important, including noticing and respecting our body’s needs as well as developing an inner listening for natural intuition and natural healing.

One of the most important steps in any recovery from addiction is developing and nurturing mindfulness. In the silence, we begin to notice multiple types of communications, for we are vastly complex receivers for multi-sensory reception.

We immediately notice “the energy” of others, perhaps before we are more rooted in an awareness of our own “energy”. In fact, it actually takes an act of will power to change our “energy” from one of addiction to another form of energy, such as being committed to being of service, or meeting so other meaningful duty or obligation.

Addicts turn to addiction to feel at ease and happy.
So if they could figure out what is causing there lack of feeling ok or
well beingness they would not need the escape of the addiction
in theory anyway.
the brain
seinfeld spin on addiction
there actually is a 12 step group related to sex addiction,
SLAA sex and love addicts anonymous.

In response to Lake Placid’s post:

believing in you & sending you encouragement and prayerful affirming thoughts for all you need and desire for yourself.

I Am living a Divine plan

In response to ‘Just’ For Me’s post:
Thanks for your encouragement,i am planting the seed of a desire to
ween off the meds im thinking august is a good month to try.

But the addiction part of me,created a loophole for itself

"I didn't say august of what year"

sending you lots of love and strength Lake Placid ,you can do it .Take extra care of yourself

In response to Lake Placid’s post:

Thank you for your honesty. I admire your inner strength…

I encourage you to follow up with getting a good sponsor. A good sponsor is one who is very active in their recovery and is also active in the AA community.

Whatever the vice is, there really is one true program that definitely gets results, and it is the 12 steps.

I love page 417:
4th edition
second paragraph:

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place thing or situation—- some fact of my life—- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitude.”

Beautifully spoken…

A very dear friend of mine, one of his greatest quotes is of great consequence.

“Everything is a gift.”

In response to ‘Just’ For Me’s post:
In response to Lake Placid’s post:
In response to flowergirl’s post:
In response to Robert’s post:

This is an excellent thread…

In response to Kathi’s post:
I can think of many things to say all positive about the AA big book,
the 12 steps in that book could be applied to any addiction.
Since it was first published,almost 80 years ago millions of people
worldwide have utilized the principles offered in the 12 steps as an answer
to various addictions.
Bill W,who wrote the book also clearly advocates seeking the help of
doctors,counsellors and other practitioners if an individual found it
necessary for there journey,not at the exclusion of A A and the steps,
but rather as a complimentary part of a persons recovery.
Certainly the book itself deserving to be among the top 20 best
books ever written.

Recovery, and one’s journey, are always exciting and life giving.

Recovery causes us to experience newness, aliveness… and it opens up our mind and our perception.

In my experience, regardless of what the nature of healing is, we also heal with our thoughts and with our level of clarity.

I’m sure others can relate to this humorous quote.
“Addiction is like having sex with a gorilla,
in the sense that it ain’t over until the
gorilla says it’s over”

does anyone struggle with the internet ,I don’t mean doing work ,learning ,sharing etc but mindless time wasting that feels like an addiction / habit

I have loads of uni work I need to do ,a home that is neglected ,so many creative ,kind to myself things I could be doing ,beautiful woods I could walk in

but

I get up ,let the dogs out ,make a cup of tea and go straight on to PC where I hop between email ,facebook ,a couple of other places and back to email ,facebook etc This can go on all day unless I have to go to work ,uni ,out somewhere and happens most days often for about 12 hours in total.

I know it is partly escape and partly support ( Brave Girls Club by Melody ross is a group of incredibly supportive women all around the world ).There is a lot going on in my life and I do have times when depression threatens to overwhelm me but although I realise spending all this time online is not really helping I still do it so much .Most nights I go to bed thinking “tomorrow I will tidy up ,start uni work ,go for a walk,ration my pc time ,start some self care “ and yet I still am drawn to this screen
Maybe I am hoping for some words of wisdom that will click on my brain as I look through my facebook feed – I follow lots of inspirational ,spiritual ,kind pages .
I hope I don’t sound poor me ,and I am not comparing this to the hell of drugs/alcohol addictions but I felt the need to reach out to you lovely folks as I am struggling with things .

Hi Flowergirl,

I wanted to acknowledge your post and respond to you. I read your post, and I understand all that you may be getting out of spending time on the internet, with social media. It can be a wonderful diversion, and often it can be a huge support. Its like having the world at our fingertips— how awesome is that?? And, I always look for inspiration and wisdom, and also for positive affirmations that fit with my life view.

For the time, I am inclined to say that this is filling a need of some sort for you. We all need to be more active with balance, with enjoying a walk, taking time to be outside in nature and taking time for a break.

Hi Kathi and thank you so much for your kind reply

I would say about an eigth of the time spent is supportive and being in contact with people .

The other seven eighths is avoiding doing other things which can feel overwhelming

In response to flowergirl’s post:
I can relate flowergirl,there,s so much even on this one site.
the internet is kind of like quicksand,in the sense that i tend to spend
several hours on it many days,and some days im hesitant to press the start
button.At least compared to television its still a healthy place and i tend
to be conscious of what im choosing to view,to put a positive spin on it.

In response to Lake Placid’s post:
I like what you said Lake Placid… At least compared to television its still a healthy place and I tend to be conscious of what I’m choosing to view,to put a positive spin on it.

I feel as we get close to any level of discomfort in our lives, something has to give… and we begin to do more of some things, less of others and reasons for our choices will start the whole process… (at least that has been in my experience) We all want to value where we’ve been, who we are and thoughts about where we’re headed_ I love these wonderful posts, and thank you too Flowergirl for always sharing so openly(:

much love to all(:

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Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Bmindful.com...The only place where 2+2 can = anything you want it to equal.

In response to The Enterprize's post:

Brilliant T E

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