I am curious on your thoughts in regards to when people make excuses to justify their negative behaviour or words? How do you deal with a situation like that?
I get quite bothered by them.
“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
That really depends if they’ve violated something important that affects myself, someone I care about, and/or the potential to hurt people in general. I then become confrontational (as diplomatically as I can). Sometimes people are very unaware of themselves, and/or how their behavior affects others. If it is truly hurtful, I always start my communication with “When you say this, I feel…” If I feel communication, would make the situation worse..well guess I’d need more specifics to know how I’d handle it.
Again, some people have no clue. or just don’t care about others. It would so depend on so many factors. Any specifics,you’d like to include?
I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions,
Sensations ,
& Feelings
It depends how developed the relationship is. Time does not necessarily conclude development. Two things must be created and maintained in order to open the thin portal into effective communication.
The two are respect and trust. You cannot have one without the other. And an interaction that is lacking in respect lacks desire. An interaction that is lacking in trust is corrupt.
By no means am I implying that relationships are doomed to remain at their current status. Different behaviors create different emotions.
If the relationship is currently a relationshit then there is little you can do to attend to the matter of excuses besides ignore them. Once the individual ‘knows’ what is expected of him or her then their excuses loose their ammunition.
Here’s how you manage the nay-sayers:
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.
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A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
“Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”
“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”
“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”
“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”
“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they’re overpriced.
So, whatcha’ doing when you get there?”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.”
“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.
The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”
“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”
“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured a guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”
“Oh, really! What’d he say ?”
He said: “Where’d you get the shitty Hairdo?”
Blessings,
Bruce-
Each Day Is A New Gift From God!
In response to ThisIsBruce’s post:
Every time I hear that joke, I always have to smile… :)
You know, when people are negative and they are close to me, if the negativity is constant and unstopping, I have to cut myself off from most contact. I just cannot have that kind of mind numbing vibration in my life. Usually, they get the hint and change their attitude… but, not always. For some reason, silence speaks volumes in my family.
If it is strangers, I tend to send them blessings and peace in an honest genuine way, because something must have tainted them in their life. We are all born perfect little babies and it is life experience that can poison them. I wonder why I don’t do that to my own family… I think I should. Ok, life plan to add to my journal… send blessings and peace to the people in my family who frustrate me the most… meditate on their happiness…
I am living in many dimensions at once; the appearance of being trapped in time and space is only an illusion.
In response to ThisIsBruce’s post:
You made me laugh :) Imagine the pope saying “Shitty”!!!
I can affected by negativity if I am not strong in myself. But only if they are friends. If they are strangers, I don’t really care enough.
Focus
In response to ThisIsBruce’s post:
I laughed out loud at that one!
Sometimes with negative people I might write on the ‘office birthday card’ a gypsy curse like “I hope you get everything you wish for”, because they usually are only wishing or attracting negative things. I know, that’s so mean!
To the complainers in my life I smile and say “is that all you got” “anything else you want to complain about”…
But yeah, it’s hard when those excuses are being thrown around and it’s affecting you. My 5 yr old son would say, just don’t think about it anymore.
“Even if you’re on the right track – you’ll get run over if you just sit there” Will Rogers
In life we are free to perceive and contextualize any particular group of words.
This can be advantageous or disadvantageous depending on the reader.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
wonderful thread created in 2009
take a look
I AM
Peaceful:
Emotions,
Sensations ,
& Feelings
