SelfcareEnthusiast
Posted on 21/06/2011. Last edited on 31/03/2013.
POST 5
►• Co-Creatorship Video God Said No? (:
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excerpts from Affirmative Prayer Thread below
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- An affirmation is a prayer offered to G-d, or the Divine Mind, in affirmative terms. For example, when the Psalmist affirms to G-d, he does not say: “O Lord, be my shepherd,” he affirms: “The Lord is my shepherd.” He does not say: “O Lord, relieve me from want,” but rather, “I shall not want.” The psalmist affirms that which he desires. He does not recite his prayer in statements of misery, there is no enumeration of suffering nor statement of unhappiness. by Reb Morris Lichtenstein
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- Affirmative Prayer:
...I find affirmative prayer assists with my focusing on myself in healthy ways…Thank you God for helping me co-create my life today with You for my Greatest Good. All is well & it is all so. Amen [belief, surrender, co-creator]
- related prayers [time to create more..but here are a few that work well for me]:
- ►•[22] Thank You God for giving me another wonderful day and directing me in great ways with what to do with it. Thank you for giving me the mental emotional spiritual physical stamina to lead a life you are directing. Thanks for giving me the lesson, that I must do my part in life and giving me all that I need to do that well. I believe You that you have given me what I need, I will do my part today with ease, love, and joy, and the kind of energy that allows room to make a plan in my spirit, my minds eye and on paper. All is well and blessings to all. It is All so. Amen.
- ►•(14) Thank You God for my life and the gift of wonderful individuals everywhere… & friendship… that continuously shows up with Your Perfect tailoring to our lives. This day is perfect, better than I could have planned alone. My work is rewarding, and as fun as play…because You Dear God have ignited my spirit (and those I come in contact with) with loveliness. All is well, and it is All so. Amen. [faith, hope,certainty,gratitude, empowerment,joy, enthusiasm]
- ►•(12) Thank You God for being the Power and the ability behind… my releasing all people, places and things that do not serve me for my GREATEST Good. All is well in my now, and it is all so. Amen.] [surrender]
- 2013 selfcare observations & prayers
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- AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER˛ ˚ ✰。˚ ˚ღ。 ˛˚ 。✰˚ ˚ ★ღ ˚
This post is on affirmative prayer and related items.
˛ ˚ ✰。˚ ˚ღ。 ˛˚ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰
- Daily renewal
- Clarity
- Certainty
- Faith in God, not in the idea of faith alone
- Enthusiasm
- Passion
- Gratitude
- Appreciation
- Sincerity
- Joy
- Love
- Empowerment
- Freedom
- Positive Expectation
- Surrender-Let Go
- Faith
- “Success”
- Body Mind Spirit ->Health & Wholeness
- Spiritual
- Usefulness
- Write down exactly what you want to achieve
Ideas on How to Pray
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- ►• Anything that causes you to over react or under react can control you, and often does ~David Allen
2013 selfcare observations & prayers:
affirmative prayer library
There is a Presence that is eternal and infinite. It is generous and supportive. It is the light that guides all of creation into its most perfect expression. This Presence is the source of all of life and It is ever renewing itself through its creation. It is the only expression, It is all expression.
And this Presence expresses Itself as me. All that I am and all that I do is taking place within the eternal, infinite presence. Its light shines within me and emanates from me. Life renews Itself through me.
From this understanding of my oneness with the Presence, I accept for myself that I am free to express my unique self. I open and allow myself to be moved by the guiding light within me. As I am aligned with the all-good nature of this Presence, I trust that all of my expressions are kind and beneficial. I realize I am both unique and necessary. I am an essential aspect of creation and as such my full expression serves the greater good. Realizing this spiritual truth about myself, I open to the freedom that is mine. The freedom to express myself for the good of all. As I release all that could possibly hinder the fullest expression of my highest good, I accept the loving guidance of the Divine One.
I give thanks for this new found realization of my own freedom to express.
I release this Word into the Law that responds fully.
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Ideas on How to Pray
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Happiness is a choice. For every minute you are angry or irritated, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, then let them be. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.
If you have the courage to admit when you’re scared, the ability to laugh even as you cry, the nerve to speak up, even if your voice is shaking, the confidence to ask for help when you need it, and the wisdom to take it when it’s offered, then you have everything you need to get yourself to a happier state of mind.
Begin today by taking responsibility for your own contentment. Here are ten ways to choose happiness:
10 ways Happy People Choose Happiness marcandangel.com/
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Love, Generosity and Joy
Affirmative Prayer for Love, Generosity and Joy from affirmative prayer library
There is one infinite, divine Presence. Its nature is love, generosity and joy. It is the creator of all of life. It is ever-present and all-knowing. It is the only power.
And It loves Its life as me. Its nature is my nature. It is present in everything I do as love, generosity and joy.
From this understanding of my unity with the creator, I accept for myself a life filled with love, generosity and joy. All of my relationships are built upon this foundation and I find happiness at every turn. All of my actions are guided by the love of the living Spirit. All of my transactions are based in generosity and my days and my nights are filled with joy, the natural joy of being alive.
I give thanks for this truth about life.
I let it be.
And So It Is
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“…Always pray in the affirmative, as though the prayer has already been answered. I should say, ‘Thank you, God, for helping me be kind and patient.’ As opposed to, ‘Please, God, help me be patient.’ Affirmative prayer reinforces that you have already received the guidance, therefore you are able to focus on the solution. Saying that I need help just reinforces the problem—helping me wallow in it.” — by Nic Sheff
Co-Creatorship
This post is geared to Co-Creatorship. This is not a religious thought…because we are among many views & faiths. Though, it is one that is focused on the fact we do nothing totally alone, but must do our part.. ... respectful of how you address your understanding of this Power.
˛ ˚ ✰。˚ ˚ღ。 ˛˚ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰
If I have learned one thing in this life, it is that God will not tie my shoes without me -Doug Boyd
˛ ˚ ✰。˚ ˚ღ。 ˛˚ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰
˛ ˚ ✰。˚ ˚ღ。 ˛˚ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰
I will contain my affirmative-prayers (mostly) to this post area, leaving room for all those who would like to join.
►•(1) Thank you God for the gifts you regularly give my heart & mind to co-create a Good life. Thank you God in increasing my ability to think more creatively, generate more valuable ideas and show consistent growth in skillful “problem”-solving. I thank you in advance for a resourceful harmonious way of living…giving…being. And it is all so. Amen.
►•(2) I allow areas that serve me to be my joyful focus. Thank you God for jump-starting all I need and desire for this productive discipline. And… it is all so. Thank you God. Amen.
►•(3) Thank you God for this day, this day You have created, and allowed me to co-create with my prayer and belief in Good things. I let go and let You because I know in advance my day is best guided when I allow earnest prayer and doing my part to be tools. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(4) Thank you God, for giving me this perfect day to be, and interact with likeminded persons, and learn joyfully from those I am dissimilar with. I let go and let You, because I am a resourceful available student, and You are my sustenance and teacher. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(5) Thank you God for assisting my inner look at my life, to make corrections/enhancements/alterations. I am ready to do my part creatively, joyfully and passionately. All is well…Thanks for letting my eyes/heart/spirit/mind be open to this moment and time that You made for me for me and for my connection with those You have come into my life. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(6) Thank you Dear God for this gift of daily renewal…inner and outer peace in this world. Thank you for letting it be so, and helping me to see how it is always getting better. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(7) Thank you Dear God for this perfect day. I have surrendered my day to you and grateful for understanding how starting with You Answers my moments and responds to them. Thank you for designing my morning to help me know about my part. Thank you for allowing time to work in my favor. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(8) Thank you Dear God for teaching me how to be significant to myself in valuable and progressive ways daily. Thank you for opening my spirit to You…to know what to know/do next. Thank you for helping me demonstrate love from my heart as a product of the Love you keep demonstrating to me. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(9) Thank You God for always reminding me how fun and learning go together, and I appreciate the many teachers that show up in my life. Today is a day of fun learning and growth. All is well. And it is all so. Amen.
►•(10) Thank You God for the ability to utilize/allocate my energy Good and Well. Thank You God for directing All for my greatest Good, and being part of the Good of others whenever possible. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(11) Thank You dear God for enhancing my abilities and my understanding to be a better person. Thank you for making me aware of what my part is in today, to give my best with the time I truly have available. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
- ►•(12) Thank You God for being the Power and the ability behind… my releasing all people, places and things that do not serve me for my GREATEST Good. All is well in my now, and it is all so. Amen.] [surrender]
►•(13) Thank You God for wonderful gift of my perfect slumber…Thank you for allowing me to awake refreshed, and able to be my best self. I appreciate the ability to wake up with ideas/solutions for areas of importance for self and those I connect with in my day where it is in our best interests. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•(14) Thank You God for my life and the gift of wonderful individuals everywhere… & friendship… that continuously shows up with Your Perfect tailoring to our lives. This day is perfect, better than I could have planned alone. My work is rewarding, and as fun as play…because You Dear God have ignited my spirit (and those I come in contact with) with loveliness. All is well, and it is All so. Amen.
►•(15) Thank YOU God for an organized mind and sufficient discipline. Thank You God for the creativity for tasks and projects. Today is a day that my life-list I know of and areas I’ve yet to add receive clarity and resolve. I thank You God in advance for giving the day the balance and flow that only You give with That Perfection, Joy and Perfect Timing. All is Well. And It Is All So. Amen.
►•(16) Thank You Dear God, for the perfect abundance you are in process of Creating for myself and my family-unit. Thank You for allowing me to see the bigger picture for my minds eye & inner spirit. Thank You Dear God for the ability to plan & act on vital areas in a sequence that brings back Perfect reward. I move forward as I allow consistent follow-up and consistent action with discipline which I simply and powerfully love. Thank You for filling me up with Your Power & giving me Everything I truly need as needed. All is well. It is All so. Amen.
►•(17) Thank You Dear God for giving Your Perfect maintenance to myself, (and others who desire the same)...inside (body, hearts, spirit & mind) & outside (circumstances & things we need to live easily and well). All is well. It is All so. Amen.
►•(18) Thank YOU God for directing my mind, body in ways that Only a Perfect Source could Provide, Your Source… to allow my spirit (your Spirit) to SHINE. I surrender to You…I’m only a co-pilot…and I take good direction. It is all so. All is well. Amen.
►•(19) I know it is up to me to surrender and I do. I also know what could take me years, You can do in miliseconds if I let go and let You (and I co-create with intentions, and my part of the footwork). All is well when I don’t go it alone. I let go & Let You, God for all that is in my Best interest. I trust Us…. Thank You All is well. Centered Safe Secure Peace Joy is Now. It is All so. Amen.
►•[20] Thank You God for refreshing my mind, body and spirit in only ways You can do. I know You will give me what I need to take good care of myself and those I love. I allow You full reign …as I co-pilot…so I can continue to grow spiritually, emotionally, physically, monetarily…to be a new version of myself rather than just a renewed old version. I am ready to make room for what I need. I am grateful and appreciative for this newness. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•[21] Thank You God for making it possible for me to move forward and see a bigger picture. Today is the day my lists are detailed plans… where I can See and implement …with great momentum…like a ballet performance that comes together perfectly (grace, precision, balance, care, pride in ability and respect for the art)
Your Guidance You are placing in my spirit…in my mind’s eye are like the well written instruction book for all of my senses. I take this information and I joyously do what needs to be done in an order You lovingly, gently & powerfully share with all parts of me that runs on G ood O rderly D irection. Yours is the support I truly need & I know It’s Always There. Thank You for giving me the necessary belief to do my part in this great day and everyday. I am ready. All is well and blessings to all. It is All so. Amen.
►•[22] Thank You God for giving me another wonderful day and directing me in great ways with what to do with it. Thank you for giving me the mental emotional spiritual physical stamina to lead a life you are directing. Thanks for giving me the lesson, that I must do my part in life and giving me all that I need to do that well. I believe You that you have given me what I need, I will do my part today with ease, love, and joy, and the kind of energy that allows room to make a plan in my spirit, my minds eye and on paper. All is well and blessings to all. It is All so. Amen.
►•[23] Thank You God for making me aware of where my attention should really be. Thank you for your daily, moment by moment Influence to know what is visible to me is only part of what You are showing me. Thanks for reminding me others have stories they tell themselves too…and compassion and patience for all of us for the Big Picture comes to each of us…and I am only responsible for myself. Though thankfully, You help us all help one another with your Love, that we get to lovingly and comfortably respectfully claim as our own, because Your spark is in each of us. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•[24] Thank You God for giving me a voice to ask for what I don’t understand. Thank you for helping me stay open minded enough to learn and be less distracted… by having just the “sufficient” amount of curiosity to learn about things I desire to grasp. Thank you for increasing my awareness for what I do see. Thanks for allowing me to be open to You for answers. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•[25] Thank You God for giving me the gift of friendship with You, myself and my lovely daily encounters with others. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•[26] Thank You God for helping me simplify my day to standards that You’d agree with and that my spirit acknowledges as Good for each moment. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
►•[27] ...surrender- Today I’m grateful to surrender my life to You God. I am seen in a Good Light because You are My Light. I do Good things because you direct my ways. I believe Good things because You show me how to put my thoughts together. i feel wonderful because You are in my heart of hearts and allow Your Spark to fill my Spirit. All is well. It is all so.Amen.
►•[28] gratitude faith clarity vision -Thank You God! I am clear about my needs/desires, and I always allow You God to guide me in the direction of my Greatest Good. All is well. It is all so. Amen.
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- ►• Practice Detachment – excerpted from article Forging Your Self-Confidence by Brian Tracy… It’s important to remember that no one can affect your thoughts or feelings unless there is something that you want from him, or something that you want him to refrain from doing. As soon as you begin to practice detachment and decide in your own mind that there is nothing that you want or expect from another person, you will find that his ability to shake your self-confidence is greatly reduced. The people who are the most successful in human relationships are those who practice a calm, healthy detachment from others, and although they are friendly and engaged in the conversation, they don’t allow the behaviors of others to determine how they think and feel about themselves.
- As you can see, it is our fears and doubts that, more than anything else, undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence and cause us to think in negative terms about ourselves and our possibilities. As Maslow said, we begin to “sell ourselves short” and see all the reasons why something might not be possible for us. We magnify the difficulties and minimize the opportunities. We become preoccupied with the possible losses we might suffer and the possible criticisms we might endure. Our fears and doubts paralyze us, preventing us from acting boldly, lowering our self-confidence and causing us to think and talk in negative terms. In fact, this probably describes the great majority of mankind. Most people are so preoccupied with their fears that they have time for little else, and this preoccupation manifests itself in much of what they say and do.
Spiritual Growth Habit/EXERCISES by Dr. Phil Shapiro
1. Make a list of your good and bad habits. Which habits would you like to change now?
2. What barriers keep you from changing your bad habits?
3. Make a list of constructive, meaningful activities that you will use to avoid bad habits.
4. What spiritual methods would you like to practice?
5. What spiritual qualities would you like to develop?
6. What will you do when craving for a destructive habit returns?
7. Practice the ten steps for replacing bad habits with good and spiritual habits.Following is a technique for replacing bad habits with good spiritual habits:
1. Introspection
2. Avoid everything associated with the bad habit
3. Affirmations and will
4. Constructive meaningful activities
5. The habits of a seeker
6. The habits of a sage
7. Support
8. Solitude
9. Perseverance
10. Victory
8. Keep a log. Each day you can inspect the status of your habits. Give yourself credit for your successes. Recognize your slips, but do not dwell on the bad habit; this only reinforces the associated brain groove. Instead, cultivate the mental habit of being gentle with yourself while you focus on the good habits you are creating.
POINTS TO REMEMBER
o In the beginning of our spiritual work, it may be difficult to get traction. We can gain momentum by setting reasonable goals, taking small steps, achieving modest successes, and building from there.
o The next step in our spiritual development is in the immediate moments of our lives. However, when we do not like what is going on, we leap out of the moment and back into an unhealthy habit. We hypnotize and narcotize ourselves in order to avoid unpleasant feelings. Instead, choose constructive, meaningful activities and the spiritual methods of a seeker to develop the spiritual qualities of a sage.
o Break bad habits of thought, attitude, emotion, desire, energy, and action so you can emerge from the past and find yourself renewed: fresh, spontaneous, and in the moment.
Affirmation Videos
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Health & Fitness Videos
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A site flowergirl posted on Happiness
- The sacred is ever present. I need not conjure it, and cannot create it. It is in our midst as an unsolicited gift. I need only do my best to honor it as I grow more attuned to its language ~unknown
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The following are chapters from a book by Jack Canfield entitled Success Principles.. I simply took the chapter titles and converted them into daily questions. I find it to be a very helpful daily inventory.
- Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life, Be Clear Why You’re Here
Why am I here?
- What do I want?
- Do I believe it is possible?
- Do I believe in myself?
- Have I unleashed my goal setting today?
- No matter what I feel, am I going for it anyway?
- Am I willing to pay the price?
- Do I reject rejection?
- Do I use feedback to my advantage?
- Do I commit to constant never-ending improvement?
- Do I practice persistence?
- Do I exceed expectations?
- Do I surround myself with successful people?
- Do I acknowledge the best about me?
- Do I face what isn’t working?
- Have I transformed my inner critic to my inner coach?
- Do I stay motivated with the masters?
- Do I fuel my success with passion and enthusiasm?
- Do I build my success team with creative successful relationships?
- Am I successful with money?
- Have I accepted that Success Starts Now??!(:
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Homeostasis
Definition: The maintenance of normal, internal stability in an organism by coordinated responses of the organ system, that automatically tend to correct for out of balance conditions that cause the body to malfunction or function less effectively. The body is always fighting to correct the threatening out of balance condition – and if the condition is more extreme, the body will have to expend more energy and also have more go awry.
As the body senses that it is further and further from operating well, it works harder and harder to correct the condition, using the mechanism of the stress hormone called cortisol. The longer or further you allow this, the more and more damage you do and the further you get from living a calm, coherent life. Instead, you want to “train” your body and mind to stay in the coherent, highest functioning range.
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The One Tool You Need to Lead a Balanced Life
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Haider Al-Mosawi of Personal Growth Map found on Zen Habits.
Leading a balanced life is commonly seen as the light at the end of the tunnel. We convince ourselves that once we have our work under control, we can then make time for family, health and hobbies.
But let’s take a look at an approach to life and personal growth that will allow you to start leading a balanced life today.
Why You Need Balance Today
Before we look at how you can achieve balance, it’s important to know why you need to have balance in your life in the first place.
1- Every Life Area is Important: Imagine neglecting your health for one year while you focus on your work. You will suffer the consequences of that decision during that year and the years ahead. In fact, that decision alone can limit the number of years you are likely to live after that. That might be a harsh way of putting it, but you know it to be true.
2- Life Areas Reinforce Each Other: The idea that each life area is compartmentalized, and has no influence on other life areas is untrue and extremely damaging to your life success. You can advance your career by having good social connections and you can enhance your family life by having good health and vitality. All life areas are connected, and if you neglect some life areas, you could be sabotaging the success you wish to achieve in the area you are focusing on.
3- Problems In One Area Can Be Caused By Other Areas: If you’ve ever attempted to become more productive by trying to motivate yourself, only to fail miserably, then you will appreciate this point. The fact is, being productive at work might not have anything to do with your work. It could very well stem from a health issue (i.e. what you eat, how active you are and a possible illness). You can try every productivity tip and trick in every book, but if you neglect your health, you won’t be able to overcome the limitations you are experiencing.
4- If We’re Not Managing All Life Areas, We’re Not In Control: One of the main reasons why we experience stress in life is because we feel we don’t have control over our lives. And by neglecting any life area, we give up that control. We feel that there is something in our lives that we’re not giving attention to and not managing properly. This stress can bring a sour taste to our entire lives.
5- No Need to Put Your Happiness On Hold: We have a very simple choice in life. We can either experience happiness today, or postpone our happiness for some time in the indefinite future. By avoiding balance today, we delay our own happiness. This doesn’t have to be the case. We can begin enjoying our lives today without further delay!
Use a Personal Growth Map
Now that you know you’re in desperate need for balance in your life today, let’s how a Personal Growth Map can help.
The idea behind the Personal Growth Map is very simple: You need to be aware of all life areas, and advance in each one of them every day and on a regular basis (weekly, monthly, etc).
Although we may have been struggling to achieve life balance all these years, but the strange thing is, we don’t know what we’ve been trying to balance. Is it work and family time? But what about our health? And how about our hobbies? And where does world peace fit into all of this?
The Personal Growth Map recognizes seven life areas that make up our lives. You can see these life areas as categories where we can put our activities and goals in. The life areas (categories) are:
(1) Spiritual
(2) Intellectual
(3) Psychological
(4) Social
(5) Professional
(6) Recreational
(7) Physical
If you’ve been struggling to balance only two life areas, you might be surprised to know that juggling seven life areas is actually easier.
Why? Because these life areas are more accurate in defining your actual needs in life, without ignoring the important details. If you thought that balance is only about work and family time, then you were ignoring your spiritual, intellectual, psychological, recreational and physical needs. That’s not real balance, is it?
Having a more accurate understanding of your needs as a human being will enable you to satisfy those needs without neglecting anything that’s important to you.
Using the Personal Growth Map
There’s a lot to mention about how the Personal Growth Map should be used for maximum effect. For now, use these 3 simple steps so you can achieve results immediatelyh:
1- List all the activities you can do to advance each life area: That is, start with Spiritual. What can you do to advance your life in the area of spirituality? Read a specific book about spirituality? Meditate? Pray? Speak to a spiritual teacher you know? Join a campaign to promote world peace? List all the options open to you in that area. Be as specific as possible, then move on to every other area to write down a similar list.
2- Consider activities that stretch across several life areas: This is where the power of the Personal Growth Map is really felt. You can satisfy several needs through a single activity. For example, rather than exercise in the gym, play football with your friends. This will advance your Social, Recreational and Physical life areas all at once! Be creative in coming up with ways you can advance several life areas at the same time.
3- Select the activities you want to carry out for each life area: Choose the options which you can apply today (or during the next week or month) from the above lists. Make sure that you cover all life areas!
No matter how minor the activity is, as long as you are advancing each life area, you are making progress and experiencing a degree of balance in your life. You are gaining control of your life and satisfying all your needs.
With the Personal Growth Map, you will realize that the tunnel you’ve been living in is of your own making, and you can start living in the light and leading a balanced life today.
Read more from Haider Al-Mosawi
Time Management Mindshortcut
There are 6 easy steps to managing your time and creating more free time for yourself:
Set goals
Prioritize
Know where your time is currently going
Prepare daily action plans
Defeat time robbers
Make efficiency gains
Step 1: Set goals
Goals are the starting point of effective time management. Once you have them, you use them as your personal time management tool. If you find yourself doing something that doesn’t fit within your goals or doesn’t help you achieve the results you require, tell yourself that you don’t have time for it. It is the time we spend doing unimportant things that steals from us the time we could better spend on the important things in life (whatever they are). It is when we are not finding the time to spend on the things that matter, that we begin to experience time related stress.
If you want to do this step really well, you will force yourself into that space of ruthless honesty we rarely enter. Work out what is really important in life to you; not other people, not ‘society’; but you.
Step 2: Determine your priorities
Working out your goals isn’t enough. Once you have set yourself some goals it is time to prioritize them. There are goals that are critical to your life and other goals that are just ‘nice to have’. One of the key secrets to being a great time manager is to focus at least some of your efforts every day on the critical goals; the things that will really help to shape your life, business or career.
Step 3: Know where your time goes
Budgeting your time is like budgeting your money. The first step to being good at it is to understand where it is currently being spent. How do you currently spend your day?
Did you know, for example, that research by the A.C. Nielson groups showed that the average American spends more than 4 hours each day watching TV and less than 3.5 minutes engaging in meaningful conversation with their children? If you were unaware that such a large portion of your day was spent doing this activity, you might struggle to see how you could possibly fit in 30 minutes of exercise in your day.
How about the manager who keeps track and finds that he is spending 3.5 hours of every day in meetings, many of which do not produce outcomes or it is not necessary for him or her to attend? Knowing where the manager’s time is going, allows him/her to make choices about what is important to be achieved each day. If he or she made a decision not to attend even one of those meetings in a day, he or she may have an additional hour at the end of each day to spend with loved ones or relaxing.
Step 4: Daily action plans
Setting goals and prioritising them is not enough. You also need to plan the steps you will take to make them happen, the time you will spend on them and when you will spend that time. You may need to have a big picture plan if your goals will take several weeks, months or years to achieve. As well you will need to plan what you will do every day. This type of plan is called a daily action plan.
A daily action plan:
Lists the tasks you wish to achieve today; AND
Prioritizes them so that the most important one goes to the top of the list and the least important one goes to the bottom of the list.
The key then is to start with the most important item on the list and work on it until it is finished or you have done everything you can. When the first item is finished, then you move onto the second item.
There will be many more fun jobs clamouring for your attention, but with a little bit of willpower you will be able to push them to the bottom of the list, leave them there and focus your attention on the things that really matter. You will be able to do this because:
If the important things are done in your day, you have had the best day possible;
It doesn’t matter if the unimportant things aren’t done;
Doing unimportant things first means that you will have less time in the day to the unimportant things;
Doing unimportant things might mean that you have to spend an extra hour at working getting the important things done at the end of the day. This cuts into time you could have spent on yourself, doing things that are important to you or with people who matter to you.
Step 5: Defeating the time robbers
There are very clever sneaky things lurking in everyone’s day that attempt to rob them of time. Some of them are cunningly disguised as friends and work colleagues and others are cunningly disguised as ‘urgent’ tasks. There are two key steps to defeating time robbers:
Become aware of who/what they are. Step 3 should have helped you here. They can be people who drop in and chat, they can be your inability to say ‘no’ when other people ask, time spent in airports or the number of emails you have to go through. In the words of a wise counselor I know, ‘A problem well identified is a problem half solved’.
Take steps to eliminate them from your life or reduce the amount of time they steal. There are any number of strategies you can use to defeat time robbers. Some are things such as, remove visitors chairs from your office to stop drop in callers staying very long, hold stand up meetings so they are shorter, use waiting time at the airport for planning etc.
The greatest time waster in many people’s lives is usually self inflicted… it is procrastination. Procrastination is a form of self inflicted punishment (usually guilt) before the reward (doing the job and feeling better). It is not a healthy activity to engage in. One way to overcome it is to be just as creative about finding reasons to do the job as you usually are about finding reasons not to do the job.
Step 6: Find ways to become more efficient
The last step to becoming more efficient at managing your time and free yourself up to become more efficient in the way you approach tasks. Don’t let the sound of this overwhelm you or make you feel bogged down in guidelines and rules. Becoming more efficient can be as simple as putting things back where you got them from, getting the children to clean up their toys after themselves etc. There is some amazing research showing the average number of days a year people spending looking for lost things at home and at work. You could, however, just bypass this process and put things back in the first place and free up the time you otherwise would have had to spend looking for it the next time you or someone else wanted it.
Other things you can do are simple things like batch jobs (do all of a similar type of job at the same time during a day), have clean working spaces, cook meals in bulk and freeze the leftovers and do all your shopping in one trip.
If you can implement these 6 steps for effective time management into your life, you will get more done in less time and free yourself up for the people and things that really matter to you.
- Sandra Rodman B Com LLB LLM Master Results Coach, Master Performance Consultant, Master NLP Practitioner, Master Ericsonian Hypnosis, Reiki Practitioner, Pellowah Practitioner and author of ‘Time Management: The 6 Easy Steps To having More Free Time’ shares the techniques she has used and teaches others to become more efficient time managers, take back control of their life and have more time for themselves and the things that matter to them.
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Cynthia Kersey: The No. 1 behavior that helps people maximize their time and eliminate time-wasters is planning their day. I have a plaque on my wall that says, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Once you’ve created your goals and the action steps to achieve it, you must get them on your calendar.
Give yourself the gift of at least 15 minutes or so each morning or evening. If that means getting up 15 to 30 minutes earlier than normal, so be it. Give yourself time to plan and reflect. You’ll reap enormous benefits in focus, energy and direction that will enable you to complete the steps necessary to keep working toward your goal.
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Assess Your Life
Identify Your Most Important Goals
Cynthia Kersey
To help identify your top goals and what’s most important to you, you can start by assessing your life as it is today. What’s working? What’s not working? What areas do you want to improve? The exercise below will help you assess eight key areas of your life.
On a scale of 1 to 5, with a 1 meaning that you need a lot of improvement and a 5 meaning that you need no improvement, rate yourself in all of the following areas that apply to you:
PHYSICAL
___Appearance—I look my best
___Overall health
___Fitness level
___Healthy diet
___Regular exercise
___Optimal weight
___Flexibility
___Strength training
___Enough energy to do what I need to do each day
PROFESSIONAL
___Passionate about my career
___Advancing in my industry
___Growing professionally
___Challenged by my work
___Doing what I want to do
___Expert in my field
___Performing at a level of excellence
FINANCIAL
___Current income level
___Good credit
___Balanced budget
___Current savings
___Current net worth
___Level of debt
___Clear investment strategy
___Financial security
___Enough money to do what I want, provide for my family, travel, decorate my home, support causes I care about, etc.
PERSONAL
___Have fun in my life
___Take great vacations
___Travel to places I want to go
___Take time for myself
___Live in a nurturing environment
___Love where I live
MENTAL/EMOTIONAL
___Personally growing and learning
___Not easily angered
___Happy, whole, and complete
___Fear does not control my life
___No unhealthy addictions—smoking, alcohol, drugs, etc.
___Live with gratitude
___Feel loved and supported
___Practice forgiveness
GIVING BACK/LEGACY
___Contributing time to others
___Donating money to causes I care about
___Feel like my life matters
___Making a difference
___Clarity on my life’s purpose and passion
___Actively support a cause I care about
RELATIONSHIPS
___With my family
___With my spouse
___With my children
___With my parents
___With my siblings
___Romance—involved in healthy, growing relationship
___Great friendships
___Mentors to learn from
___Spend my time with people I love and care about
SPIRITUAL
___Actively growing spiritually
___Regularly pray/meditate
___Involved in a spiritual community
___Expanding faith
___Regularly express love to others
___Live in peace
Now that you’ve gone through the list, the next step is to review the ratings to determine which of the eight areas need the most improvement. Choose the three most important areas that you’d like to work on. When choosing your top three areas, consider what change or improvement would make the most significant difference in your life, providing you with satisfaction, energy, and momentum. Maybe you’re at a point in your life where your health or giving back is more of a concern than finances or your career. Or perhaps you’re in the prime earning time of your life and taking your career to the next level would make a huge difference in your and your family’s financial prosperity.
List the top three areas you’d most like to improve:
1. ________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________
Now it’s time to really start dreaming. For each of the three areas you’ve identified, let’s explore further what you’d like to change, improve, or achieve. Put yourself in a mindset of complete faith and optimism. Ask yourself the question, “If I knew I could not fail and had no limitations, what would I want for my life in these top areas?” Don’t judge if it’s possible or worry about how you’ll make it happen. Just dream.
If, after going through the list, you’re still struggling to identify what you really want, ask yourself the question, “What am I no longer willing to settle for in my life?” Be completely honest. Think about all the areas in your life that you’ve settled for less than you deserve. What do you believe would make your life better?
Finalize your breakthrough goal.
Now that you’ve got your creative juices flowing and have identified what you want in the three important areas of your life, the final step is to narrow this information down into the most important goal you want to work on. If you’re like me, you have several areas you’d like to improve. By choosing one goal, you’re not eliminating all of the other possibilities from your life forever. You’re simply focusing on one goal for now. After all, there’s always next month!
Write down a goal for each of the three areas you’d like to improve and answer the following questions for each one.
Why must I achieve this goal?
What will it cost me if I don’t achieve this goal?
Am I willing to do what is necessary to make this happen?
Do I really want this or does someone want this for me?
The answers to these questions will help you identify the most important goal to focus on first.
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- Keith Garrett said something on his site which really assisted me…
“If I were operating at my top capability I would”____________________
I find it is like hitting a refresh button for my spirit… in many ways(:
- THE COMPLETION PROCESS by Keith Garrett
- You’ll notice this is similar to “problem solving”, good thinking practices, etc.
- The “completion” process is merely: (Note that it MUST be written down. See why, below.)
- What is the problem? Describe it completely and objectively, including what the intention is that was thwarted (not achieved, blocked).
- What result(s) do I want? What is my intention as to the results I want?
- What else do I need to know and who can provide that or what other resource can I use, such as what to read and/or research?
- Possibly use an ally to help hold you accountable or keep you on path or to give feedback as to when you are actually complete.
- Once you feel you have learned and/or identified what is needed, write out what the solution is and then implement it.
- See if it works (stop, look, and listen) and refine as needed.
- Essentially, the completion process is the same as the problem solving process, except that it possibly involves more learning to gain the knowledge necessary to effectively operate in the area of the problem and/or in the problem situation.
- WHY MUST IT BE IN WRITING?
- The only reason not to write it down is that it “seems like too much effort” or “the extra effort is not worth it.” But that would be like a child not wanting to put out effort, waiting to be rescued by having someone else do it or just using magical thinking in hoping that it’ll go away.
- The effort to write this out is well-proven to create greater results.
- If it is just in the mind, it evaporates, it often is only partial, there is not as much depth and there is no path set to go down further toward completion, etc. In other words, it doesn’t work, so stop doing it!!! (Duh!)
- Also, writing it down in black and white generally forces one to look at it clearly and to not be vague and/or not to BS oneself by telling an untruth. It leaves a path (or a “marker” of the beginning of a possible path to explore). One can proceed in greater depth. One can share it with a fellow problem solver and/or ally, who can help to contribute a different viewpoint and possibly relevant knowledge.
- A lazy approach will get the results that a lazy person experiences in life – like rusty cars all over the front yard, etc.
- So: JUST DO IT!!!!!
- THE COMPLETION PROCESS AND LIFE A Complete Process
Also, it is a complete process, perhaps reviewing some topics that you already know and can therefore skip, but a process where you can fill in the missing pieces. Most people have missing pieces and many more things they need to understand in order to have a viewpoint that works.
☼ ►• So Eat That Frog…
ACTION EXERCISE = Make an analysis of your current energy levels and your daily health habits. Resolve today to improve your levels of health and energy by asking the following questions:
[1] What are you doing physically that you should do more of?
[2] What are you doing that you should do less of?
[3] What are you doing that you should START DOING —- if you want to perform at your best?
What are you doing today that affects your health that you should STOP DOING altogether?
Whatever your answers are to these questions, TAKE ACTIONS TODAY!
(from Brian Tracy’s Books/tapes Eat That Frog)
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From Brian Tracy:
- LIST ALL Of MY GOALS: Daily, Yearly, and Lifetime goals . READ them daily and THINK ABOUT THEM as often as I can EVERYDAY.
- Always Ask Myself ->Is THIS, the BEST USE of my time?”
A ~ SOMETHING THAT YOU MUST DO. Place an “A” next to each task that has serious potential consequences for completion or incompletion. THESE are the most important jobs on your list. If you have more than one “A” task, set priorities rating them A1, A2, A3, and so on.
B ~ SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD DO. Place a “B” next to the tasks for which the consequences would be mild or there would be no consequences if you do them or do not do them. This type of task may be something like returning a phone call or checking your e-mail.
C ~ THINGS THAT ARE “NICE” TO DO. Place a “C” next to each task that has no consequences at all: whether you do it or not will make no difference. It is something “nice” to do but largely irrelevant to your work and your company and your goals. A “C” item maybe reading the newspaper, getting another cup of coffee, or chatting with someone in the office. It doesn’t matter at all whether you do them or not.
The rule is that you should never do a B task if there is an A task to do and you should never do a C task when there is a B task that is not complete.
You must continually discipline your self to keep FOCUSED on those tasks with the greatest potential consequences.
D ~ THINGS TO DELEGATE. Put a “D” next to every task that you can give to someone else. The rule is you must delgate every lower-value task possible so that you can free up more time for your “A” tasks.
Many of the tasks that you work on habitually are tasks of low value. At one time they may have been important, BUT NOW they are less important than other things that you NEED to do and you can delegate them. Which of your tasks deserve a D?
E ~ THINGS TO ELIMINATE. Rid yourself of everything that you possibly can to free up time for your most important tasks. The rule is that if it does not have to be done NOW, it has to NOT be done now.
Be strict with yourself. What tasks could you eliminate altogether with no consequences to the achievement of your most important business and personal goals? These low-value or no-value tasks are candidates for “creative abandonment.” These are the “posteriorities” that you set in your life.
These are the activities that you must STOP doing in order to free up time for the things that you must get done to fulfill your potential and achieve your goals.~
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- ►• Whole thread being revised….constantly!(:
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There are some wonderful pieces on self esteem…I’d like to highlight this workbook.
Building Self Esteem
About the Author v
Foreword, “A Way Of Thinking” vii
Building Self-Esteem 1
Our Basic Need 2
Life Can Be a Ball! 3
The Importance of Sound Self-Esteem 4
Self-Esteem, What It Is Not 5
Self-Esteem, What It Is 6
Evaluating Your Self-Esteem 7
What Is Lack of Self-Esteem? 10
Some Classic Symptoms of
Low Self-Esteem 10
What Is Cultural Conditioning? 11
Typical Sources of the Faulty Conditioning that
Causes Self-Rejection . 12
How We Perpetuate Low Self-Esteem 15
Procedure for Building Self-Esteem 16
THE FIRST STEP:
Expanding Your Awareness 17
What We Mean by Awareness 17
Roadblocks to Increasing Your Awareness 19
Revising Your Concepts of Human Behavior 19
The Realities of Human Behavior 22
How About the Consequences? . . 25
Increasing Your Awareness through Self-Exploration . . . 26
Prerequisites for Self-Exploration 27
Increasing Your Awareness Through Outside Sources . . . 31
Who Am I? 32
Putting It All Together , . 33
iii
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Wait a minute! If you are harboring anger, resentment or revenge thoughts, who are you really harming?
Only yourself!!!
Now, before you get upset, understand that forgiving someone is not letting them off the hook; especially if their actions were criminal, malicious or atrocious, causing you great pain.
It does not mean you are condoning or excusing another’s behavior.
You can choose to forgive someone and increase your personal freedom while at the same time seeking justice. Then the injuring party still experiences the consequences of their wrong doing.
Through forgiveness, you are able to deal with the situation dispassionately, achieving personal freedom by releasing yourself from negative energy stored in the mind and body.
On the other hand, refusing to forgive or holding a grudge carries with it a heavy emotional cost. Anger releases toxic stress chemicals into your blood stream, elevates blood pressure and blocks you emotionally and spiritually.
Forgiveness = personal freedom – releasing you from the bonds of being a victim.
Forgiving both yourself and others is for your benefit – not those who have wronged you! It is necessary to neutralize and eliminate the energy patterns that keep guilt, shame and fear from remaining as the dominate force in your entire being.
You don’t need to take my word for this. Here is what a few experts tell us:
1. Psychiatrist Richard Fitzgibbons provides the following benefits to the one who forgives:
Decreased levels of anger and hostility.
Increased feelings of love.
Improved ability to control anger.
Enhanced capacity to trust.
Freedom from control of events of the past.
No longer repeating negative behaviors.
Improved physical health.
Significant improvement in psychiatric disorders.
2. Colin Tipping, author of “Radical Forgiveness” comments that repressed emotional baggage can literally show up as physical baggage – excess body fat.
3. James Hardt, PhD., Founder of Biocybernaut Institute, one of the world’s most respected authorities on brain wave biofeedback training and author of “The Art of Smart Thinking” discovered forgiveness enhances the Alpha brain waves and includes it in his neurofeedback training.
Negative Energy Blocks:
The past experiences in life are either stepping stones to greater successes or they block our progress and stop us cold.
Everything you do – or don’t do – now, today or in the future is limited by your beliefs. The human brain filters information based on all past memories which are stored in the mind and body. It compares, deletes or distorts new information based on these memories.
Understand the human mind does not distinguish any differences in past, present or future. To the mind everything it experiences is happening “right now.” Therefore when reliving past wrongs, the mind believes you are experiencing a new, but similar situation all over again.
Every time you think of the past negative memory (especially when there is strong emotion attached) you once again reinforce that thought pattern, making it easier for the subconscious to run this belief on automatic. You are effectively creating a (belief) neuron pattern that is larger, stronger and fires more often.
To illustrate, when someone endures a terrible relationship it then becomes difficult to participate in a healthy marriage without ghosts of the past reappearing to sabotage their happiness.
Each time their new mate says or does anything, the mind will go through the filtering process. It will compare what is happening now with stored memories. If there is any similarity to past trauma the result is negative emotions such as anxiety, fear and worry (even if there is actually no danger).
To achieve personal freedom – heal and be free of the emotional blocks created by these past experiences – one needs to forgive and let go of the past. It is like wiping the slate clean to start fresh.
Then when the mind compares current events to past events, there is no longer negative energy attached to the past. Therefore, the insignificant actions of a new mate, which would have previously created emotional turmoil, now remain neutral.
Summary:
Forgiveness is a necessary component of personal freedom.
Forgiving yourself or others is not about condoning or accepting improper actions.
Forgiveness is vital to releasing the negative emotional charge from your mind and body, effectively clearing the path to success.
Through this process, you neutralize negative unconscious filters which previously would have stopped you from taking action.
Now you know why to forgive. You too can achieve personal freedom and eliminate the pain and suffering we experience by re-living past. It must be a conscious choice.
Make a decision. You can hold on to a grudge and wallow in self-pity, giving your power away to someone who could care less – or – forgive both yourself and others; clearing the path to personal freedom and creating happiness, health, relationships and overall success in all areas of life.
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From the same author and site: How To Forgive:
How to Forgive and Let Go
A 7 Step Self Help Process to Freedom
Wouldn’t it be great if we could simply say “I forgive you” and be free of emotional pain and suffering continuously experienced by re-living past negative events – regardless of whether these were created by ourselves or others?
Many of us suffer through emotional pain, never taking the time to find out exactly where it comes from or how to stop it from controlling our lives.
There must be a conscious effort to free your mind.
A Gallup Poll done on forgiveness found that 80% of Americans felt forgiving was important. However 85% found it difficult to do it on their own. They needed some outside help.
With true, heart-felt forgiveness you eliminate the dysfunctional thought patterns and free yourself from constantly re-experiencing the emotional pain from the past.
According to James Hardt, PhD, author of “The Art of Smart Thinking”, true forgiveness requires high “alpha” brain waves to completely eliminate the emotional charge from the situation.
Ego and Forgiveness:
I would love to be able to say that forgiveness is simple and easy to do. While it is simple, it definitely is not easy.
The ego is a trickster and it wants to control you. When you are feeling good, the ego uses unforgiven memories to cause negative emotions such as anger, rage, resentment or jealousy.
Your efforts to let go and free yourself from emotional pain reduce the ego’s control over you. Therefore, it will continuously distract you and sabotage your freedom with the arsenal of weapons it uses to keep control.
These weapons can appear as tiredness, lack of focus, forgetfulness, fear, doubt, worry, sexual arousal, laziness and a host of other symptoms.
By becoming aware of these ego distractions and accepting them as they appear, you immediately begin to diminish the power they have over you and ultimately the power the ego has been using to control you.
How To Forgive – A 7 Step Process To Freedom
1. There must be the “intention” to let go. Understand that wanting or trying fails in achieving the full release from past pain. You need to be perfectly clear your intention is to:
Forgive (yourself or others).
Release yourself from emotional pain and suffering.
Choose to stop reliving past events which ultimately block your future progress.
2. Once you have made this heart-felt decision, the forgiveness process works best when you step out of your thinking (Beta) brain wave patterns and go into the relaxed Alpha brain waves.
There are various techniques to help you relax into the Alpha. Here are a few you can try. Use the one that works best for you.
Breathing techniques
Meditative prayer
Meditation
TIP: Play classical Baroque music (I recommend Vivaldi) softly in the background. This helps to bring the mind and body into slower, more efficient rhythms. Baroque music synchronizes both hemispheres of the mind and helps relax you into the Alpha brain waves.
3. While in this Alpha state create the feeling of love in your heart. You can do this by bringing to mind someone that fills your heart with love and happiness.
4. Focus on the situation and/or person you choose to be forgiving. Feel the emotion associated with that event.
5. Now look for the “good” that came from this. For example, you were fired from a good paying position. Now you have a better job with higher pay, working with people who respect you.
6. Reframe your thinking about the negative situation or person. The subconscious believes everything and judges nothing. Therefore you can change your negative belief to create a new memory of your choosing.
7. Then forgive and let go. Bring the person or event into your heart with new found feelings of love and happiness. Surround them with light. Understand you can not be responsible for the actions of others – only yourself. You are choosing to be free from the emotional pain.
I find it helps tremendously to visualize some form of disconnect at this point; such as seeing the person fade away to nothing or cutting the invisible umbilical cord that connects you.
Now, you might be thinking that forgiving others is the answer to your prayers. However, there is more work to do and it is vitally important to forgive yourself!
As you become increasingly aware of your non-conscious thoughts, you can learn to catch your self thinking of a past event. This is a signal from the subconscious you are stuck.
Look at the thought. Accept it as yours. Then work backwards through the thought to discover how it is blocking you.
When you hit on the block, you will know instantly. This is where you get to be kinder and gentler with yourself; forgiving and letting it go. Chances are better than good you will never be blocked by that negative thought pattern again.
However, if by chance it appears again, look for a different aspect of the thought which also needs to be released (forgiven).
Through persistent releasing you will find your self thinking less and less about negative events of the past. Now as you focus the mind on what you want in life – your goals and dreams – the negative influence from past experiences is neutralized and you are free to pursue this life uninhibited.
You will need to experiment with different releasing techniques until you discover the one that works for you. Choose from those in Step Three of my free Self Help Tutorial or invent your own.
Conclusion:
We all have hidden, unforgiven memories which block our success. These blocks do not have to be created by huge, traumatic events. More often than not, they are the result of something seemingly insignificant or minor.
Understand that we are all children wrapped up in an adult body. What we believe; the way we think, act and feel was mostly programmed into our minds as a child.
Although we have matured and learned how to think and rationalize, we are still driven by these childhood lessons.
You can only be free of the inefficient, negative beliefs stored in the mind and body if you have consciously released any and all previously unforgiven memories.
To me, learning to be forgiving is the most effective releasing anyone can possible employ to clear these subconscious blocks.
The good news is we all have the “freedom to choose.” Now you can choose to hold on to old, negative memories which the ego uses to keep control or you can release and let go.
Forgive and be free!
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“The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either — or both — when needed?”
― Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes
►• Video – Marianne Williamson…entitled Everyday Grace Having Hope Finding Forgiveness & Making Miracles
►• Today I forgive everyone and accept forgiveness by everyone. I know the eternal Spirit harbors no malice toward me or anyone else. Forgiving and being forgiven, I have an inward sense of peace and tranquility. There is no anxiety, no sense of guilt, no fear of judgment. All mistakes of the past are now wiped out in my consciousness and I no longer carry any burden from them. I look forward to the future with joy, in peace and gladness, and live in the present day with an inner assurance of being one with all life. Ernest Holmes
Great Tutorial that I personal enjoyed comes from best self help sites
It will:
- Explain how the human brain functions and why you are programmed to fail.
- Teach you to become aware of the hidden self-sabotage and eliminate its power over you.
- Provide effective techniques to re-program your subconscious to succeed in all areas of life.
- Help you to choose, define, properly word and set your goals.
Reading
7 Steps To Turn Your Reading Into Results by HAIDER in INTELLECTUAL, LEARNING personal growth map FROM THE CATEGORY ARCHIVES of Learning – 7 Steps To Turn Your Reading Into Results by HAIDER
We spend a great deal of our time reading. And the more committed we are to personal growth, the more we want to learn and, therefore, the more we are likely to want to read.
Sadly, the growth in our reading pile doesn’t necessarily reflect the personal growth we experience. It seems that a lot of time and effort is spent reading, without experiencing any lasting results. And we assume that we’re simply not reading enough.
But the truth is, the problem isn’t lack of reading, but lack of effective reading.
These 7 steps will help you gain more out of what you read.
Step 1 – Shift Your Focus
Imagine all your reading material to your left. All the physical books, journals, and magazines you want to read; your Kindle device loaded with your Amazon purchases, your laptop with the rest of your digital library, and the Library of Congress, if you happen to be that ambitious.
And imagine your life to your right. Your kids playing in the yard, you working at your desk, your spouse reading a novel, etc.
What many of us do is face the reading pile on the left, and see life as a distraction from our reading. Your children want your attention, your spouse wants your love, your business wants your commitment, etc.
“How the hell am I supposed to get all my reading done when this stupid life thing is getting in the way!?”
Reading feels like an obligation, and a pretty heavy one at that. There’s too much to read, and not enough time to read it.
And the more we discover we need to read, the less reading we get done.
The first step you need to take is to shift your focus from reading to living.
Turn to your life on your right and ask yourself: What do I need to read about to improve my life?
You don’t live to read more. You read to live better.
Focus on the results you want and the life you want to live, not the books you have to read.
Step 2 – Pick What’s Relevant
Not everything you want to read is applicable to your life. At least, not right now.
You don’t want to read a step-by-step guide on writing a business plan if you’re not thinking of starting your own business this year. You might want to pick out a book on the feasibility and advantages of starting a business, because that’s more relevant to where you are.
By reading what’s relevant, you’ll have better retention, and can apply what you read in your life to get the results you’re after!
Not rocket science, I know.
But how many of us take relevance into consideration? We’ve been brainwashed to think that knowledge is power, and so we seek to acquire it without being selective about what knowledge to acquire. In fact, we often let others decide what we should be reading (usually what they’re selling), and don’t stop to consider if it’s the best thing for us to read or not, given our own lives, and not their bank accounts or traffic ratings.
Look to your life on the right and ask yourself: What areas of my life are in desperate need of my attention? What problems need urgent solutions? What can I read to help me address them?
Now look through your reading pile and see what you can pick out from there. If nothing matches your needs from your reading pile, look elsewhere. Just because you already have those books doesn’t mean they’re more important than what’s relevant.
Relevance trumps convenience.
I would encourage you to consider 3 factors when picking out what’s relevant:
The elephant in the room: If you’re facing a serious problem in your life, it will need your attention more than any other topic. Don’t ignore it and hope the elephant will graciously leave the room. It might cause a lot of damage on its way out.
Your comprehension level: If you’re clueless about a subject, it might be more helpful to read a Dummies guide than an expert’s manual. You don’t want to feel lost while reading. Otherwise, you could lose your motivation to continue reading, or your confidence in getting the results you want. Read the stuff that makes you feel confident, not confused.
Life balance: Focusing on improving a single life area won’t serve you well in life… or in that life area. Every area of your life impacts every other area, which is why I encourage people to take all life areas into consideration. I identify our life areas as: Spiritual, Intellectual, Psychological, Social, Professional, Recreational, and Physical. You want to make progress in each and every life area.
After picking out the most relevant reading material for yourself, you can ignore the rest (for now).
Step 3 – Find Alternatives To Reading
Now that you know what’s relevant to your life, consider ways of acquiring the same information, but without having to do any reading (your focus should be on the results you want, remember?).
What if you can listen to a book, rather than read it? That way, you get to go through the same content, but at times where you won’t be able to read (while driving, for example).
How about meeting up with an expert on the subject, or having a Skype conversation with a friend?
You could get someone else to summarize the book for you, or find videos that deal with the topic you want to learn more about.
Whatever the alternative might be, since you’re after the results, you can find one that’s more appropriate for you than reading, and offers advantages over reading.
Step 4 – Take Notes While You Read
This step is at the heart of the reading process. Taking effective notes will help you make the most out of what you read. Some people highlight sentences, or leave one-word notes in the margins. But how are they going to use them? And – more importantly – what for?
I need your undivided attention here.
This is an extremely important practice for you to get acquainted with, and it tackles the reason why we don’t get much out of what we read.
The first principle to effective note-taking is: Separate the theory from the action steps.
Not all information is created equally, or can be used in the same way. You need to divide information in a way that reflects how you’ll be using it.
Some of what you read influences your understanding, and some asks you to take action. Lumping the two together under the same list of notes means that you’ll read what you should be doing, when you should be doing what you’re reading. You shouldn’t read an exercise. You should do it. Maybe not while you’re reading through the book, but certainly afterwards.
Summarize the key ideas of what you read, and keep a separate list of the things you will do after reading.
And in case you’re wondering: nodding in agreement isn’t an action, which might help explain why we don’t usually get the results we want.
Step 5 – Write Down Your Own Thoughts
One of the most common misconceptions about reading is that it’s a passive process, where you simply take in the information presented to you.
You might get ideas that are unrelated to what you’re reading.
You could strongly disagree with what you read, and end up making notes that suggest a completely different approach to the one being recommended by the author.
You might also find yourself building on what you read, or filling the gaps that haven’t been covered.
Your mind is active while reading. Don’t overlook its wisdom simply because you want the information being presented to you. You’ll be surprised by how much you already know, and what great insights you can come up with!
Step 6 – Put Your Reading into Practice
Now that you have a to-do list, you know what to do after reading. If you don’t go through the to do list, and get the tasks done, then it’s very unlikely that you’ll experience any results from your reading. In other words, what you have read hasn’t contributed to your life, or helped you improve it.
It’s essential that you are keen on getting results, and not simply going through the mechanics of reading, without generating an output. But reading is only part of the process. Doing is the next phase we need to go through to achieve our goals, and experience personal growth.
This may sting a bit, but it’s important for you to acknowledge: Many of us use reading as an excuse to avoid doing. It’s a distraction we can convince ourselves is essential and productive, but remains a distraction, nevertheless. If you have to confront your partner about an issue, then confront your partner. Don’t read more and more books about how to improve your relationship, so that you can put off the confrontation.
If you want results in your life, you will have to put the books down at one point, and do what they ask you to do, or what you know you should do.
Step 7 – Evaluate What You Read… and How You Read
To improve your approach to reading and, therefore, the results you can get out of reading, it’s important to evaluate the quality of what you read, and how your approach can be improved.
Did a writer get you feeling motivated while reading, but failed in helping you sustain that feeling in your life?
Why did that happen? Did you not follow his advice properly, or was it impractical?
Is there a writer with a style that resonates with you, and can get you to apply his advice with ease?
Be aware of what you find useful in what you read, and what you find ineffective.
You may realize that you’re taking too many notes, or not enough notes, or don’t understand the notes you take when you look back at them.
Use these observations to guide what you read, and how you read.
With these 7 steps, you can increase the chances of getting more out of what you read, without feeling guilty for not having read everything you can get your hands on.
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When you come FROM ‘happiness’, you do certain things because you ARE happy — as opposed to the old paradigm in which you did things that you hoped would MAKE you happy. When you come FROM ‘wisdom’, you do certain things because you ARE wise, not because you are trying to get to wisdom. When you come FROM ‘love’, you do certain things because you ARE love, not because you want to have love. Everything changes; everything turns around, when you come FROM ‘being’, rather that seeking to ‘be’... Here is the divine dichotomy. The way to get there’ is to ‘be there’. Just BE where you choose to GET! There’s nothing you have to do. You want to be happy? Be happy. You want to be wise? Be wise. You want to be love? Be love.~ Neale Donald Walsch
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Self Observation& Ego Dance Article by Eve Hogan
It seems so obvious and so simple and yet we are extremely unskilled and unpracticed at paying attention to our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. We tend to operate on “automatic pilot,” as if we have no control. The reality is that unless we know what we are doing, we have little chance of changing it—and often the simple act of becoming aware causes us to do something differently.
When we practice self-observation—noticing what we are thinking, feeling, doing, and imagining—it allows us to become self-aware. When we are aware of what we are doing, we realize that we have choices and choices are what make us powerful.
The very act of noticing how we are feeling can allow us to release or let go of a stuck or stagnant feeling or a self-sabotaging habit. I once worked with a student who denied everything she was accused of by friends, teachers, and her parents. One day I said, “I want you to simply observe yourself and just notice that you deny what you do.” Of course, her immediate response was, “I do not.” To which I laughed and said, “Notice what you just did!” I assured her that this was not an assignment to change what she did or even judge what she did, but rather to simply notice what she did. Her task was to become conscious so that she was aware of and choosing her behavior rather than operating unconsciously. I cannot say what she did away from me but from that day on, I never heard her deny her behavior again. Just the act of awareness released her from the habit.
The more observant we are, the more we realize that there is a difference between the observed and the observer. Once when I had just gone through a break-up with a boyfriend and was lying on the couch sobbing, I heard a little voice in my head saying, “Wow, you are really crying. You haven’t cried like this since you were a little girl.” There was no judgment of my behavior, only an observation. Even in that moment of despair, I was aware that there was a part of me that was not sobbing or even feeling my pain. It was hard to keep crying and feeling sorry for myself once I knew that there was a part of me that was not buying into my drama at all.
Remember, the first essential life skill is remembering who you really are—a powerful, wise, loving, creative, connected, compassionate spirit—or inviting that aspect of yourself to become known. When you practice self-observation, you will begin to recognize that the part of you doing the observing is your true self. When you stop to observe your anger, you realize that the part of you doing the observing is not the same part that is angry. This is very important. Our true, authentic selves are not caught up in our ego dramas. Our true self stays calm and capable throughout everything that we go through. When we know this aspect of ourselves, or watch for it, we can learn to tap into that strength when we need it the most.
Practicing self-observation allows us to see when we are behaving in alignment with our goals and our values, and when we are not. We notice when we are putting on a show for someone rather than aligning our behavior with the truth. We notice when we are smiling even though we are actually sad, or when we say we are fine even though we are not. We may notice we are pretending to be mad when we really aren’t, just to manipulate someone else’s behavior. Or, we may notice that we are thinking negative thoughts about ourselves, making us feel insecure. We may even notice when we are truly content, peaceful, and joyful.
When we practice self-observation we also start to see when our choices are serving us and when they are not. The labyrinth I mentioned in the first step is another excellent place to practice this skill. As you walk the labyrinth (or as you move through life), notice what you are doing. If you are impatient or are judging others, or judging yourself on the labyrinth, you probably are going to do the same thing outside of the labyrinth. Ask yourself if it is serving you. If it is, continue. If not, experiment with letting that behavior go and trying on a new one.
Letting go is the topic of the third essential skill and will be the next blog post. For now, just practice noticing without needing to do anything different. Watch your self-talk. Is it serving you? Watch the stories you make up regardless of their truth. Are they serving you? Watch your judgment of self and others. Does it make you feel better or worse? Just simply notice. Watch your actions. Are they leading in the direction you want to go?
The goal is to begin to familiarize yourself with your authentic self, and your inauthentic self. As you learn to tell the difference, you will be better able to align your choices with who you really are and what you really want to create.
EGO ARTICLE-EGO DANCE by Eve Hogan
It isn’t really that the ego is “bad,” rather it is misguided. Unfortunately, most of us think we are our egos, rather than recognizing a deeper, more substantial aspect of our beings. The ego is the part of us that gets jealous, possessive, anxious, judgmental, fearful and self-conscious. In reality, the ego wants to protect us, but it manages to do so in unhealthy, often painful and inauthentic ways. Much akin to an overprotective parent who keeps their child in the house rather than letting them go out to play at the risk that they could get hurt.
In my experience, “who—or what—we really are”” is love. We are here to love and be loved. However, we have allowed our egos to define what that means, instead of our souls. Our egos get a hold of the concept and turn it into a need to be loved and a need to love, rather than just being love. Through the filter of ego, the essence of being loved turns into the ego need for approval. When we think we need love, we are suddenly feel lack or scarcity and thus, we turn into energy vampires trying to suck approval out of everyone we meet in order to fill that need. Through the filter of ego, the essence of being loving turns into a need for control. When we think we need to be loving, we try to change everyone around us so that we can fulfill our need and love them. While we all experience both the need for approval and the need for control, we tend to make one of them our “home base,” and ironically, we attract partners with a the opposite need. We form the perfect approval/control dysfunctional relationships.
Consider magnets with two polarized ends—positive and negative. If you put them together positive to positive, they will repel. If you put them together positive to negative they will attract. If left in close proximity, the magnetic pull will cause the magnet to flip around in order to attract to the other. Our egos are a bit akin to this. One end of the “ego-magnet” is the need for approval and the other polarized end is the need for control. We all have both, but we tend to lead in our relationships with one or the other and we tend to attract the opposite or evoke the opposite in others. A person with a strong need for approval will attract another’s need for control. A person with a strong need for control will attract another’s need for approval. Then we hook up in relationships that are, ultimately, an ego dance instead of a “realationship”.
I call this an ego dance instead of a real relationship because when we are operating from the approval control drama we are operating in an illusion. We have no control over anyone else…try as we might. And, it is impossible to get true approval when we are not being authentic, putting on a facade to try to get someone’s approval.
Whenever you find yourself in conflict with someone else, while remembering who you really are, observe yourself and notice what you are feeling and thinking. Notice whether you are experiencing a need for approval or a need for control. If you find that you are judging or trying to change the other person, your ego is flaring in a need for control. Take a step back and realize that this is your egos misguided attempt to love them and that your ego is exactly what is blocking your ability to love them—and what is blocking creative solutions to the problem. Take a deep breath and let go of your need for control., Return to who you really are, return to love and compassion. Often we find that when we let go of our need for control, we are able to suddenly accept others and allow them their own choices and consequences on their life’s journey. However, once you have let go, if change is still necessary, you will be able to address it in a healthier way.
“Control people” often get so caught up in the need for control that they don’t take a step back to see if it is really necessary for the other person to make the changes. I remember once telling my housemate that he was putting the dishes in the dishwasher wrong, when I self-observed and noticed that this was an ego flare of control, rather than something that mattered. When I let go of control, I could see that while it isn’t the way that I would load the dishwasher, there was nothing “wrong” about it.
If instead, you are always wondering if you are doing it right (or wrong), and are concerned about what people think of you, your ego is exhibiting a need for approval. Remember, this is your desire to be loved, but your ego’s neediness actually blocks your ability to be loved. Take a deep breath and let go of your need for approval. The only approval you need is your own and Spirit’s. When you are in alignment with your higher self, truly authentic, the world will love you.
...,[o]nce you know and understand them, this practice is as swift as a breath and absolutely effective as an immediate path to peace, love and harmony.
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