Discussion★☼Wonderful Outcomes -We Are All Wonderful!

˚peaceful☮️vibes  

Posted on 20/04/2010. Last edited on 19/12/2018.

Sometimes we have to engage with others that makes us wonder how to respond… when it doesn’t feel like it is mirroring our heart or intentions…

This thread is for affirmations for making it a wonderful outcome for you..

Though if your affirmation involves activities which assist, like some of our creative people on bmindful come up with…feel free to post them also(:

Matt Kahn
this is what it says beneath the video
Matt Kahn explains how to help wake others up while raising your vibration. The whole spiritual teaching is called “the end of victimhood, and is full of such gold, I cannot recommend it highly enough.

• • ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Irritating behavior of others presents a Constraint to which you respond.
    And while that bothersome behavior may necessarily capture your
    Attention, the obnoxious actions of others cannot cause
    the particular style or Character of your Response.
    You are the author of your responses. Only
    when you are Responsible for your
    Actions can you change them. Matt Moody PhD Social Psychologist

• * * * *

This is such an appropriate thread for me right now.
I am in this predicament with someone who appears one way and behaves another. This I find very ingenuine and unpredictable and therefore difficult. The person has been rude/unkind/difficult towards me, but if I chose to focus on the negative I am likely to project negativity too.
There is good in everyone…..(so they say!- LOL) so I need to focus on that rather than their faults.

However, I am not ready to forget the pain this person has caused me, so until then I chose to stay away from them. Silence in golden…but also very powerful and can project negativity if thats what your underlying feelings are, therefore silence isnt the ‘easy option’ in this case. I simply need to stay away until I can focus on something other than the pain they have caused me.
Until then, my affirmations are:
“I am unaffected by the negative attitudes of this person”
“I fully accept my best self”
“I see the good in others”
“I am the master of my emotions”
“I attract good people into my life”

Hope this helps…..:O)

In response to anoushka’s post:

Anoushka, Just a little thing, no matter how bad you feel about something that happened in the past, you will never be able to change it. The energy you are wasting on thinking how bad they hurt you is just being wasted. I have a suggestion on how you can change this whole thing around. Write a letter to this person (you will never give it to them) this letter is just for you. You surly do not want to cause them the pain that they have caused you right? When doing this it sometimes wise to set a timer for each level, it will give you more structure.

Okay so here is the idea about the letter. With each level in the letter you write as many things as come in your mind, do not hold back No One but you will ever see this, so be brutal. Try and make sure that you have as many things that you are angry at as you do for the understanding part. Want to stay balanced if possible.

Start out your letter with:
Dear _______________ (name of the person)

Level 1: Anger ( This level is getting it all out there)
Use this as much as you think of things that piss you off. Use what ever language makes you feel good, cuss, swear what ever it is your letter.

I am angry that __________________________
I am angry that __________________________
I am angry that __________________________

Level 2: Sadness and Hurt (Tell this person how it made you feel after the anger, what you felt like after this person had done what they did)

I am hurt or sad that ___________________________
I am hurt or sad that ___________________________
I am hurt or sad that ___________________________

Level 3: Fear (Tell them what you are afraid of, because of the situation, write what comes to mind when you look back on your anger and hurt)

I am afraid that __________________________________________
I am afraid that __________________________________________
I am afraid that __________________________________________

Level 4: Taking Responsibility, Remorse and Apologies (This level is a little harder, because you need to take responsibility for you part in the whole situation and the way you actually feel about this person, you are not doing this to be friends again, you are doing it for yourself to allow you to move forward without the heavy burden)

I am sorry that _______________________________________
I am sorry that _______________________________________
I am sorry that _______________________________________

Level 5: Love, Understanding, Gratitude and Forgiveness (Think the last level was hard, try this one. This section should be at least as long or longer then you anger. This section is free hand, write what is in your heart. Sometimes you have to take a break before you do this level, but don’t take too long. You want to release the negative emotions about this person and yourself, especially yourself.)

I hope this method helps you, I have sent a letter like this to God, to My Mother, to an ex-girlfriend, my husband and to myself; each time was such an awakening that I love using this method when someone’s done me wrong. LOL

Good Luck Honey All my blessing to you and yours

Roxanne

In response to rockswealth’s post:
Thank you so much Roxy! This is brilliant. I will let you know how I get on.
You are so great! An inspiration!
x

˚peaceful☮️vibes  

Posted on 21/04/2010.

I am a person who always says I’m sorry for my part in things. Have you ever known people that take that apology and run with it, as though you are saying everything that went wrong is your fault..And then they run with it further to hurt you since you’ve admitted you were wrong?

˚peaceful☮️vibes  

Posted on 21/04/2010.

• There can be a difference between being a good person and a nice person.

We are not in this world to be nice to everyone. That would be great if it were possible. Some people don’t allow you to be nice..because they want what they want from you.

Forgive yourself for deciding not to entertain their “dance” and create one of your own..to a different beat..your beat.. in your own style. Make your dance one that makes its own space on the dance floor. Make it where you hear the music, and you can do it alone if you have to. Though never dance with unwilling partners.

In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:
Wonderful analogy and yes I soooo identify with you with the apology thing. I too, am pretty good at apologising (I think!) and often the same thing happens – just as you described ‘they run with it’ then keep making you feel bad about it – not once thinking that two wrongs can make a right.

What is that?
Wow! The power of identification – So lovely to know that you and I are on the same page!

In response to rockswealth’s post:

This couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m copying it and doing it for someone near and dear to me!! ;) Thank you for sharing.

The apology thing happens to me too, when I apologize for my part in any problem it becomes easy for others to pin their share of blame on me.

In the past I thought that I was being the bigger person by allowing this but now I am exhausted.

So these days I start by saying something like
“ It takes two hands to clap, I will accept my part in what went wrong. If you will you also do the same we can make things better”

The sad thing is that most will let a situation get worse but they wont accept their part in a problem.

I guess most are too insecure/cowardly to accept that they are also part of a problem.

In response to anoushka’s post:

Hi Anoushka,

I have such a hard time thinking someone would give you a hard time you are such a beautiful person. This persons negativity actually is training you for future use. It is like what happened when someone tried to rob me last week. We put up a security door. That will help in the future and actually that man is saving the lives of my family. Hadn’t it been for him we would have never put up that security door. This person is helping you along your path in life.

It is good to focus on the good in people but we cannot forget the bad also. Or you would not know how to protect yourself. Accept this lady? (Is what I see in my mind’s eye). For who she is and give not your good to those who do not deserve it. Leave her to God.

When she starts with her double talking and rudeness just say “cancel” to yourself. This trains your sub-conscious mind to block out her negativity. Let her live her own life and you continue being the brilliant lady you are! The suggestions given here are very good. Writing the letter to her about the way you feel is great and very freeing.

Keep on staying positive. When she starts with her negativity replace it in your mind with something positive. Really sounds like this lady/person is jealous of you.

Blessings,

Mary

In response to Godscreation’s post:
Hey, Mary.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.
I feel so uplifted by the fact that there are methods and tools to deal with this.
The problem is now, without any conscious contact with her I am still experiencing her negativity at the back of my mind even though she isnt talking or communicating with me at all. In fact she is doing nothing wrong now – physically.

P.S: I sent you an email – hope you got it and it was of help to you ?
x

In response to Laurie~LovesFocusingWell’s post:

Oh yes I have in fact I have a girl-friend and I use that term lightly just like that. She lives everyday in the past, and never seems to move forward in her life. When you say you are sorry for anything, she thinks that you are apologizing for everything you have ever said to her in her life. And when you get upset with her, she doesn’t hear you. She acts as if nothing ever happened and wants to know why you haven’t done this thing or that for her.

It can really get on your nerves if you let it. I have basically learned to just shut her out if she starts with me. I can be a real b**h if I have a mind to. Fortunately that is not very often and most of my friends have never seen me really mad. I hope to keep it that way, if not I will tap.

In response to cleric’s post:

That is a great Idea, only one thing do not give them the chance to answer back. The other thing I suggest is do not look at the these situations as problems. They are really just a stepping stone to the next thing. Every situation has a answer, some do not take very long to discover. Others can take centuries, but there is an answer. Try to find the plus in every situation and people will want to say they did it. you can stand out in the crowd, when you are the first to admit that this is not the way to go let’s try something else.

“All this need to hold myself back” is one of my favorite tapping affirmations. You should never hold back on anything that you are passionate about.

˚peaceful☮️vibes  

Posted on 22/04/2010.

In response to Godscreation’s post:
I love the cancel idea. Thanks for the reminder(:

In response to anoushka’s post:

Hi Anoushka I sure did get it. Thank you so much!

Part-Time I work for KRON 4 Television in San Francisco. I’m a producer on the weekend morning news show. I’ve been in live news broadcasting for 10 years and let me tell you, it’s a cool making television but the news of the world as the subject matter really can wear on a person. I have seen it in the people I have worked with over the years, just wear em out and leave them jaded.

We can’t just pretend that the negativity is not there. That’s ridiculous and I know people that do that, the trick is learning to take all the data that comes at you during your “right now” experience and make it good FOR YOU.

For me as a news producer, I read stories of death, destruction and mayhem then reiterate the details into a story thats 15 seconds or less. I can’t say I “feel good” while learning about kidnappings and murders, but I do feel a ton of gratitude for my life within my little life bubble. I’m thankful that my family is healthy, thankful that I have my kids with me everyday and they’re happy. That my wife and I have jobs.

When I learn about stories where someone experienced a horrific life changing event, to fight off the “bad” feelings, I think about what I have and feel the gratitude.

To stay on course with this thread (sorry, I tend to jump tangents) what I notice I do when I’m with people that are very very negative, is I am happy that I am not them. That I don’t think and feel that way. Again, it’s gratitude. And I slowly begin to pull away from that person and spend less and less time with them. It’s hard, but I look at it like this, it’s my life and I don’t want to spend the time I have around that kinda energy. I’ve been like this since I was in the 11th grade, that’s as far back as I can really feel familiar with it anyway. When it’s family it’s even tougher, but you get to a point where it’s not available enough to impact your life.

When you find yourself around this sorta energy immediately remind yourself how lucky, awesome and full or love you are. Feel that “thank you” you say to yourself, hug and kiss yourself (metaphorically) remind yourself how much you love yourself. Trust me, you wont be affected by the negative energy.

When you are faced with a negative force, fight back with personal gratitude.

=)

˚peaceful☮️vibes  

Posted on 21/07/2016.

In response to GaryD’s post:
wonderful post Gary!

˚peaceful☮️vibes  

Posted on 21/07/2016.

I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.