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★Communication - Begin w/Fresh Eyes & Fresh Heart

“ The problem with communication is the illusion that is has occurred “ George Bernard Shaw [(1856-1950) Irish playwright and essayist]

  •  FRESH EYES -MINDFULNESS IN Close and Closer RELATIONSHIPS …EACH DAY IS BRAND NEW
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  •  SHORT EXCERPT FROM SHORT BLOG-SEEING WITH FRESH EYES The next time you see somebody who is familiar to you, ask yourself if you are seeing this person with fresh eyes, as he or she really is, or if you are seeing only the reflection of your own thoughts about this person.Jon Kabat Zinn,
  •  SHORT EXCERPT FROM SHORT BLOG-SEEING WITH FRESH EYES You might try to cultivate your own beginner’s mind in your daily life as an experiment. Next time you see somebody who is familiar to you, ask yourself if you are seeing this person with fresh eyes, as he or she really is, or if you are only seeing the reflection of your own thoughts about this person . Try it with your children, your spouse, your friends and co-workers, with your dog or cat if you have one. Try it with problems when they arise. Try it when you are outdoors in nature. Are you able to see the sky, the stars, the trees and the water and the stones, and really see them as they are right now with a clear and uncluttered mind? Or are you actually only seeing them through the veil of your own thoughts and opinions? Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living.
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  •  Twelve Exercises for Mindful Relationships Adapted from Everyday Blessings[will add link soon] By Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • ~~ 1 ~~
    Try to imagine the world from the other person’s point of view, purposefully letting go of your own. Do this every day for at least a few moments to remind yourself of who this person is and what he or she faces in the world.
  • ~~ 2 ~~
    Imagine how you appear, and sound, from the other person’s point of view, i.e.., how it would be to relate to you today, in this moment. How might this modify how you carry yourself in your body and in space, how you speak, what you say? How do you want to relate to this person in this moment?
  • ~~ 3 ~~
    Practice seeing the other person as perfect just the way they are. Try to stay mindful of seeing their sovereignty from moment to moment, and work at accepting them as they are when it is hardest for you to do so.
  • ~~ 4 ~~
    Be mindful of your expectations of the other person and consider whether these expectations are truly in their best interest. Also, be aware of how you communicate those expectations and how they affect the other person.
  • ~~ 5 ~~
    Practice altruism, putting the needs of the other person above your own whenever possible. Then see if there isn’t some common ground, where your true needs can also be met. You may be surprised at the overlap, especially if you are patient and strive for balance.
  • ~~ 6 ~~
    When you feel lost, or at a loss, remember to stand still. Listen to what it is being said. Meditate on the whole, by bringing your full attention to the situation at hand, to the other person, to yourself, to the community. In doing so, you may go beyond thinking, even good thinking, and perceive intuitively, with the whole of your being, what really needs to be done. If that is not clear in any moment, maybe the best thing is to not do anything until it becomes clearer. Sometimes it is good to remain silent.
  • ~~ 7 ~~
    Try embodying silent presence. This will grow out of both formal and informal mindfulness practice over time, if you attend to how you carry yourself and what you project in body, mind, and speech. Listen carefully.
  • ~~ 8 ~~
    Learn to live with tension without losing your own balance. In Zen and the Art of Archery, Eugene Herrigel describes how he was taught to stand at the point of highest tension effortlessly without shooting the arrow. At the right moment, the arrow mysteriously shoots itself. Do this by practicing moving into any moment, however difficult, without trying to change anything and without having to have a particular outcome. Simply bring your full awareness to this moment. Practice seeing that whatever comes up is workable, if you are willing to stand in this way in the present, trusting your intuition and best instincts. The other person needs you to be a center of balance and trustworthiness, a reliable landmark by which he or she can take a bearing within his or her own landscape. Arrow and target need each other. Forcing doesn’t help. They will find each other better through wise attention and patience.
  • ~~ 9 ~~
    Apologize to the other person when you have betrayed a trust in even a little way. Apologies are healing. An apology demonstrates that you have thought about the situation and have come to see it more clearly, or perhaps more from the other person’s point of view. But we have to be mindful of being “sorry” too often; it loses its meaning if we are always saying it or if we make regret into a habit. Then it can become a way for us not to take responsibility for our actions. Be aware of this. Cooking in remorse on occasion is a good meditation. Don’t shut off the stove until the meal is ready.
  • ~~ 10 ~~
    Every person is special and every person has special needs. Each sees in an entirely unique way. Hold an image of the other person in your heart. Drink in their being, wishing them well.
  • ~~ 11 ~~
    There are very important times when we need to practice being clear and strong and unequivocal with another person. Let this come as much as possible out of awareness and generosity and discernment, rather than out of fear, self-righteousness, or the desire to control. Mindful relationships do not mean being overindulgent, neglectful, or weak; nor does it mean being rigid, domineering, and controlling.
  • ~~ 12 ~~
    The greatest gift you can give another person is your self. This means that part of your work is to keep growing in self-knowledge and in awareness. We have to be grounded in the present moment to share what is deepest and best in ourselves. This is ongoing work, but it can be furthered by making a time for quiet contemplation. We only have right now. Let us use it to its best advantage, for the sake of the other person, and for our own self.
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Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

I have a few challenges like this at work mostly with my manager.

I used a “Glass of water” method to build in me the desire for a peaceful and prosperous relationship. I did this to avoid knee-jerk reactions to her comments.

My Father used to yell at me a long time ago, i changed it one day by simply calmly looking at him in the eye and not letting his tone get to me.He saw thins and in one second he changed his tone and has never spoken to me harshly again. So by changing the way I react to my manager i am hoping to get her to change. This will definitely work, just requires a lot of mindfulness on my side. Things have been improving lately but there’s still a lot which needs to improve.

so

so basically instead to requesting/begging people to change their ways towards me I am trying to choose my responses to their ways.

Laurie, i think you know we mostly and blindly tends to mimic the emotions of those who speak to us badly.

By not letting their negative energies find a home inside us we can improve things.

am tired, gonna stop typing now…

Cleric..great posts. Hope to see you around more(:
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Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

THERES AN METAPHYSICAL PHRASE OR EXPRESSION,THAT I HEARD MANY YEARS AGO,THAT I RECENTLY REMEMBERED…WHEN I START THE DAY I METAPHORICALLY THROW THE CAR KEYS TO GOD AND SAYHERE YOU DRIVE TODAY

  • Today as I begin new, I allow myself to be new in the eyes of everyone I speak and listen to. This newness allows me to perceive the best in others and allows all others to see the God-Love-Spirit/best in me.

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

ezdoesit… I like the idea of GOD driving the car…. gonna have to start visualizing that….

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