How old were you when you truly accepted yourself as pure?
I was 6 1/2 when I accepted myself as being “good” in God’s eyes. I was helping out my 17 year old sister emotionally and diligently. I was her only emotional support. That made be feel that I was doing “good”. I also loved since, what is right and good. I also refused to be unbalanced. I’ve been faithful to God ever since I made a vow I would never spit in his face and try to be like Job and Jeremiah. Since then, I’ve lost my voice & confidence and I want it back! I’ve felt overwhelmed my whole childhood and also since I had moved back in with my parents a few years ago. When I was a teen I started lying because of peer pressure cause of being different. I also became verbal and emotionally liable because I was craving my long distance boyfriend, who never kept in touch. I tried to gain approval my whole life and feel guilt. I’ve lost touch with my inner child. I’m not responsible unless I really need to and I procrastinate, also depending on my parents since childhood, so I don’t have to burn energy. I’m increasingly physically and anxiously ill. I don’t take care of myself and I don’t do anything for myself. I’ve lost the motivation to truly live, because I feel it’s out of my control. I chase after the guy who I just mentioned, that lives 15 hrs away and who has never been hugged by his family. I’m needy and this cycle just keeps repeating. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it is overwhelming. What’s your summary of your life?
