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★★Just for laughs

OMG, I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, THERE IS NOTHING RIGHT, and on the right side, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!!

I live a completely charmed life

I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program

I live a completely charmed life

I told you that I do NOT have Alzheimers. I have "some-timers"

Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't

I live a completely charmed life

The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee

I live a completely charmed life

I don't drink these days. I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs

Robert Downey junior

I live a completely charmed life

All that matters is how I choose to spend this moment.

I am living the Divine plan which includes wonderful health, wealth, happiness, and perfect self-expression for me now

liking this! Thank you, Happy!

All that matters is how I choose to spend this moment.

I am living the Divine plan which includes wonderful health, wealth, happiness, and perfect self-expression for me now

Saw this one & liked:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. - 

All that matters is how I choose to spend this moment.

I am living the Divine plan which includes wonderful health, wealth, happiness, and perfect self-expression for me now

You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag

I live a completely charmed life

Laughter is the best medicine ... but if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine

I live a completely charmed life

MY NEW DIET: DAY 1

I have removed all bad food from the house. It was delicious

I live a completely charmed life

- monday

- Tuesday

- Wednesday

- Thursday

- Blink

- Monday

I live a completely charmed life

NIGHT - Can't find comfortable position in bed

MORNING - Every position is comfortable

I live a completely charmed life

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he's cleaned the whole house.

I live a completely charmed life

You need to get a life when,

you start looking through a friends profile on facebook and end up on their 2nd cousins sisters best friends brothers grandmas profile looking at vacation photos from 2010

I live a completely charmed life

WARNING!!!

I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake, which means I'm sober, hungry and very pi*s*d off, so proceed with caution.

I live a completely charmed life

I can't sleep ... I just know that right now, at this very moment, someone is misspelling something on the internet

I live a completely charmed life

People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can't even finish the joke because they're laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people.

I live a completely charmed life

Last year I joined a support group for anti social people. We haven't met yet

 

 

I live a completely charmed life

Clean underwear?? ... Mom, if I were in an accident I'd probably sh*t my pants anyway

 

I live a completely charmed life

I don't have wrinkles. I just have a more relaxed type of skin than others

I live a completely charmed life

50 Funniest Pictures Of The Month - OMG Cheese

We’ll pick you up!

In response to Serenity Bay's post:

Aint that the truth, LOL

I live a completely charmed life

Who cares if we're getting older? We still ROCK!

I live a completely charmed life

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, you didn't have to say "Don't try this at home" because we weren't all a bunch of morons

I live a completely charmed life

That awkward moment when a nap becomes sleep and you wake up confused about what year it is

I live a completely charmed life

IN BED ... It's 6am, you close you eyes for 5 minutes. It's 7-45am

AT WORK ... It's 1-30pm, you close your eyes for 5 minutes. It's 1-31pm

I live a completely charmed life

If you look in the mirror and see crows feet, cellulite, saggy boobs and bingo wings, don't despair, at least your eyesight is ok

I live a completely charmed life

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR LAZINESS

(But if you find one, please let me know)

 

I live a completely charmed life

There is no louder sound than the crunch of something you're not supposed to be eating

I live a completely charmed life

You think you ROCKED my world? Honey, you didn't even rattle the headboard

I live a completely charmed life

Are you always such a SMARTASS?

NOPE ....

Sometimes I'm asleep

I live a completely charmed life

Aww

my middle finger

likes you

I live a completely charmed life

LIFE TIP:

When nothing goes right

Go to bed

I live a completely charmed life

Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we're even.

I live a completely charmed life

WARNING: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday

I live a completely charmed life

I haven't lost my mind .. half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it

I live a completely charmed life

Jack and Jill went up the hill and planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass

Now his front two teeth are missing

I live a completely charmed life

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) bargaining

4) depression

5) Acceptance

- My stages of getting ready for work

I live a completely charmed life

I have a sleeping disorder. It's called children

I live a completely charmed life

The only thing worse than a house full of noisy kids is a house full of quiet ones.

That's when the real sh*t goes down

I live a completely charmed life

COFFEE - Starter fluid for the morning impaired

I live a completely charmed life

Some days you feel like you're surrounded by idiots. Other days, you realize it's not only some days

I live a completely charmed life

I don't understand why people have to get ready for bed. I'm always ready for bed

I live a completely charmed life

In response to Spread a little happiness's post:

that is funny

 

actually lots of very cute ones on your thread

thanks-spreading a little happiness

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan. I will make you beg me to stop. When I am finished you will be weak for days.

SINCERELY,

THE FLU

I live a completely charmed life

Most people won't admit their faults

I WOULD

If I had any

I live a completely charmed life

I really need a day between every day,

to recover from the day before and prepare for the day coming

I live a completely charmed life

I still miss my EX,

but my aim is improving

I live a completely charmed life

Doctors say that drinking 8 glasses of water a day helps keep your skin looking younger. My advice? drink 8 glasses of wine a day and you won't give a damn how old you look

I live a completely charmed life

ALRIGHT ...

Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?

I live a completely charmed life

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

I live a completely charmed life

Why is it always so easy to solve your friend's problems?

I live a completely charmed life

Aint it nice when you get the silent treatment, cause you don't have to listen to their b**sh*t anymore

I live a completely charmed life

Whoever put the words "morning and good" together was obviously mentally unbalanced

I live a completely charmed life

Does running way from your responsibilities count as exercise?

I live a completely charmed life

SHHH, Can you hear that? Yep, it's my beautiful soft warm bed calling my name. I really must go and see what it wants

I live a completely charmed life

"Grandpa, if you give me one dollar I'll tell you who sleeps with grandma when you're not at home ..  Here, I'll give you five dollars, who is it?

Me ...!

I live a completely charmed life

Pampered cows produce spoiled milk

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

No matter what life throws at you... at the end of the day your dog still loves you

I live a completely charmed life

I should go to bed but the internet needs me

I live a completely charmed life

I want to sleep, but my brain won't stop talking to itself

I live a completely charmed life

The world is full of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons

I live a completely charmed life

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it

I live a completely charmed life

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