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★★Just for laughs

OMG, I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, THERE IS NOTHING RIGHT, and on the right side, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!!

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I told you that I do NOT have Alzheimers. I have "some-timers"

Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I don't drink these days. I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs

Robert Downey junior

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I Am living a Divine plan

liking this! Thank you, Happy!

I Am living a Divine plan

Saw this one & liked:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. - 

I Am living a Divine plan

You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Laughter is the best medicine ... but if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

MY NEW DIET: DAY 1

I have removed all bad food from the house. It was delicious

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

- monday

- Tuesday

- Wednesday

- Thursday

- Blink

- Monday

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

NIGHT - Can't find comfortable position in bed

MORNING - Every position is comfortable

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he's cleaned the whole house.

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

You need to get a life when,

you start looking through a friends profile on facebook and end up on their 2nd cousins sisters best friends brothers grandmas profile looking at vacation photos from 2010

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

WARNING!!!

I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake, which means I'm sober, hungry and very pi*s*d off, so proceed with caution.

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I can't sleep ... I just know that right now, at this very moment, someone is misspelling something on the internet

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can't even finish the joke because they're laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people.

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Last year I joined a support group for anti social people. We haven't met yet

 

 

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Clean underwear?? ... Mom, if I were in an accident I'd probably sh*t my pants anyway

 

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I don't have wrinkles. I just have a more relaxed type of skin than others

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

50 Funniest Pictures Of The Month - OMG Cheese

The What!

In response to Serenity Bay's post:

Aint that the truth, LOL

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Who cares if we're getting older? We still ROCK!

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, you didn't have to say "Don't try this at home" because we weren't all a bunch of morons

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

That awkward moment when a nap becomes sleep and you wake up confused about what year it is

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

IN BED ... It's 6am, you close you eyes for 5 minutes. It's 7-45am

AT WORK ... It's 1-30pm, you close your eyes for 5 minutes. It's 1-31pm

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

If you look in the mirror and see crows feet, cellulite, saggy boobs and bingo wings, don't despair, at least your eyesight is ok

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR LAZINESS

(But if you find one, please let me know)

 

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

There is no louder sound than the crunch of something you're not supposed to be eating

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

You think you ROCKED my world? Honey, you didn't even rattle the headboard

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Are you always such a SMARTASS?

NOPE ....

Sometimes I'm asleep

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Aww

my middle finger

likes you

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

LIFE TIP:

When nothing goes right

Go to bed

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we're even.

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

WARNING: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I haven't lost my mind .. half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Jack and Jill went up the hill and planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass

Now his front two teeth are missing

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) bargaining

4) depression

5) Acceptance

- My stages of getting ready for work

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I have a sleeping disorder. It's called children

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

The only thing worse than a house full of noisy kids is a house full of quiet ones.

That's when the real sh*t goes down

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

COFFEE - Starter fluid for the morning impaired

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Some days you feel like you're surrounded by idiots. Other days, you realize it's not only some days

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I don't understand why people have to get ready for bed. I'm always ready for bed

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

In response to Spread a little happiness's post:

that is funny

 

actually lots of very cute ones on your thread

thanks-spreading a little happiness

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan. I will make you beg me to stop. When I am finished you will be weak for days.

SINCERELY,

THE FLU

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Most people won't admit their faults

I WOULD

If I had any

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I really need a day between every day,

to recover from the day before and prepare for the day coming

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I still miss my EX,

but my aim is improving

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Doctors say that drinking 8 glasses of water a day helps keep your skin looking younger. My advice? drink 8 glasses of wine a day and you won't give a damn how old you look

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

ALRIGHT ...

Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Why is it always so easy to solve your friend's problems?

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Aint it nice when you get the silent treatment, cause you don't have to listen to their b**sh*t anymore

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Whoever put the words "morning and good" together was obviously mentally unbalanced

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Does running way from your responsibilities count as exercise?

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

SHHH, Can you hear that? Yep, it's my beautiful soft warm bed calling my name. I really must go and see what it wants

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

"Grandpa, if you give me one dollar I'll tell you who sleeps with grandma when you're not at home ..  Here, I'll give you five dollars, who is it?

Me ...!

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

Pampered cows produce spoiled milk

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

No matter what life throws at you... at the end of the day your dog still loves you

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I should go to bed but the internet needs me

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

I want to sleep, but my brain won't stop talking to itself

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

The world is full of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it

Anything that anyone gives attention to, becomes true

575a49e1923386c6b4e71cd4a15b27b2.jpg

The What!

The What!

images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSjka7sQTB0kAcVXEzFh2l4c-81WkRz1ich-tI-IUSu85GIdvAq

Affirmation Quick Searchaffirmation tags
♫Frampton I love enjoying this surrender. It is always beyond my wildest imagination of completion

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