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★★Just for laughs

OMG, I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side, THERE IS NOTHING RIGHT, and on the right side, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!!

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I told you that I do NOT have Alzheimers. I have "some-timers"

Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

If stupidity was a disability, I know a few people who would get a monthly check

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

What women do after sex:

2% eat

3% smoke

4% sleep

5% take a shower

86% finish the job THEMSELVES

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I don't drink these days. I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs

Robert Downey junior

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

All that matters is how I choose to spend this moment.

I am living the Divine plan which includes wonderful health, wealth, happiness, and perfect self-expression for me now

liking this! Thank you, Happy!

All that matters is how I choose to spend this moment.

I am living the Divine plan which includes wonderful health, wealth, happiness, and perfect self-expression for me now

Saw this one & liked:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. - 

All that matters is how I choose to spend this moment.

I am living the Divine plan which includes wonderful health, wealth, happiness, and perfect self-expression for me now

In response to 2019SelfcareEnthusiasm's post:

good one :)

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Laughter is the best medicine ... but if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

MY NEW DIET: DAY 1

I have removed all bad food from the house. It was delicious

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

- monday

- Tuesday

- Wednesday

- Thursday

- Blink

- Monday

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

NIGHT - Can't find comfortable position in bed

MORNING - Every position is comfortable

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he's cleaned the whole house.

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

You need to get a life when,

you start looking through a friends profile on facebook and end up on their 2nd cousins sisters best friends brothers grandmas profile looking at vacation photos from 2010

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

WARNING!!!

I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake, which means I'm sober, hungry and very pi*s*d off, so proceed with caution.

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I can't sleep ... I just know that right now, at this very moment, someone is misspelling something on the internet

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can't even finish the joke because they're laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people.

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Last year I joined a support group for anti social people. We haven't met yet

 

 

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Clean underwear?? ... Mom, if I were in an accident I'd probably sh*t my pants anyway

 

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I don't have wrinkles. I just have a more relaxed type of skin than others

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

50 Funniest Pictures Of The Month - OMG Cheese

We’ll pick you up!

In response to Serenity Bay's post:

Aint that the truth, LOL

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Who cares if we're getting older? We still ROCK!

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, you didn't have to say "Don't try this at home" because we weren't all a bunch of morons

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

That awkward moment when a nap becomes sleep and you wake up confused about what year it is

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

IN BED ... It's 6am, you close you eyes for 5 minutes. It's 7-45am

AT WORK ... It's 1-30pm, you close your eyes for 5 minutes. It's 1-31pm

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

If you look in the mirror and see crows feet, cellulite, saggy boobs and bingo wings, don't despair, at least your eyesight is ok

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR LAZINESS

(But if you find one, please let me know)

 

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

There is no louder sound than the crunch of something you're not supposed to be eating

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

You think you ROCKED my world? Honey, you didn't even rattle the headboard

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Are you always such a SMARTASS?

NOPE ....

Sometimes I'm asleep

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Aww

my middle finger

likes you

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

LIFE TIP:

When nothing goes right

Go to bed

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we're even.

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

WARNING: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

I haven't lost my mind .. half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

Jack and Jill went up the hill and planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass

Now his front two teeth are missing

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) bargaining

4) depression

5) Acceptance

- My stages of getting ready for work

I LIVE A COMPLETELY CHARMED LIFE

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