★★Preparing For Unwanted Change

Hey guys, 

I wanted to throw some ideas around, pertaining to the idea that Life Can Be a Fun Game, IF we have some good mindsets and circumstances in place before that unwanted change hits.

I think one of the basic ideas is this:

We Like to Set Ourselves Up For A Fun Game IN ADVANCE (because you can’t really do so after the crisis hits):

Like, if we have built our entire sense of identity or OK-ness, on the fact of having a nice income and an impressive home,  then it is a realllllyyyy big deal when we get served with divorce papers.

The sense of having your very identity threatened goes to crap, if 70% of your identity was about “I am Mrs. Fancypants and I live in the wealthy part of town and drive a Porsche.” 

So, I think, that IN ADVANCE of everything, we need to actually DEVELOP that mindset of having seven qualities that we see as Ours, or Our True Self — and only one of them (if any of them) has anything to do with whether your husband chooses to love you back, or leave you for a man, or even commit suicide.

There are many, many things that can be taken away, and we don’t want to build the nest of our self-esteem there — because then the loss of that thing becomes Unthinkable. Like “This can’t be happening”, and “What am I gonna do if I’m not a wife anymore”.

Having Preferences, Not Demands (You Can Survive It, You Can Stand It)

I was thinking back to the examples of how some people can’t feel like life is a fun game anymore, when something big gets threatened. But the mindset shift, that you would PREFER a certain set of circumstances, but will be OK if the opposite should happen — can make it bearable, and eventually help things to be more fun.

Like someone might say, “I PREFER to think of myself as a good doctor, but if I wind up getting sued for malpractice, I can handle it”.

That is completely different from, “How can this be happening? I’ve worked all my life to build an OB/GYN practice, and now they’re going to drag my name through the mud!? I can’t stand the thought of facing my patients again,  knowing that they’ve probably seen the accusations”

Having Basic Safety And Security (Plus a Back-up Plan)

I think that part of why people freak out when hit with an unwanted change, is that they have never made a plan. Like, “If I ever get hit with a job loss, i would be able to dip into my emergency savings for as long as it took to get full-time income back”.

Or, “If I wind up diagnosed with a terminal illness, I will plan a peaceful time tying up loose ends and pursuing any alternative treatment options that might make sense to me”

We have to feel that there is always a way forward, even if that way isn’t our Plan A. Like, nobody necessarily wants to mow lawns for a living during a period of unemployment, but knowing that you can get through it financially, is a way to avoid the experience of total despair and hopelessness.

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OK, those are a ton of thoughts, but I wanted to contribute. That’s already LONGGGGG, so if anyone was able to read that, you get a gold star! :)

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I’ve been thinking about this a lot, because I DID get hit with an unwanted and unexpected job loss about three months ago, and my former boss DID challenge my unemployment claim (but he lost!) and I had very good luck this time (I was hired for the very first job I applied to) — BUT!  It really made me think of how I want to be able to handle unwanted change more smoothly the next time it happens.

Because unwanted change is an aspect of how every single human here on earth is endowed with Free Will from our creator, and we cannot control them. Therefore, unwanted change will happen to every human, because we cannot control others. (No, not even with affirmations. No, not even with manifestation protocols.)

Feel free to contribute thoughts to this!  :)

In response to BrightAngel's post:

Very powerful thread. I totally understand facing life challenges and the suddenness of having your life turned into chaos, and having the courage to embrace the unknown. I absolutely hear, feel, see and appreciate all that you are point at. And, one day we are all going to confront and come face to face, eye to eye with our mortality. Its our most courageous moment. 

Many people, divorce is very painful. Healing, issues with finances, trust, integrity, commitment and everything that follows - goes through a rapid, radical life changing, and radical undoing... Its a process. A complete metamorphosis from a worm, then the cocoon, then the most beautiful, colorful butterfly, in its prime.

Same thing with our health. A sudden cardiac event. Unexplained weight loss - cancer. Benign vision changes - rare brain tumor. Trauma, an accident, a coma, traumatic brain injury. A stroke... AIDS... Its shocking, and there is hardly time to comprehend how profound the diagnosis before treatment options - totally mind altering options, make it seems like you are suddenly plunged into a nightmare. And, suddenly - your support system is MIA, unavailable, will call you back asap, and/or our adult children, maybe their life is in its' own crisis and they are completely unavailable; maybe your relationship is distant and now the chance of mending or healing that a gap seem even further and further out of reach. And, alls we can do is actively trust. Our faith can and will sustains us. "The shield of faith and the helmet of salvation" will be the only thing that can protect and stand with you in your moment of need.

Life. So precious, are we to one another. A passing kindness of a stranger... Brief eye contact, a warm smile, compassion... A kind/gentle pat on the back in the moment of panic, reminds us of who and what we are to/for one another. Compassion, acts of kindness are completely priceless. What we give to others, we cannot fully know. Giving hope and charity, even just listening to someone, so they can use their voice and be heard, be acknowledged, be received, giving dignity to them, having their communication received - is priceless.

Here we have this ugly terrorist attack in New Zealand. Totally cruel and profound, utter waste of precious life. We must come together, as a united world, and make ALL war illegal. All gun violence needs to stop, all crimes against humanity, all nuclear war and the making of nuclear weapons must be stopped. 

The entire world must unite against hatred. We must make it absolutely unacceptable to allow hatred and fear dominate our consciousness.

Look at how long the world has not responded to the suffering of Rohingya persecution in Myanmar. And, why are we not standing up against this?! Same thing with world hunger. With the power of agreement, we could shift money away from military development - and choose to BUILD roads that address humanitarian needs. Develop pathways to civilization, clean drinking water, roads, housing, medical care. My God, look at the entire landscape of Syria. If we all came together, to help rebuild civilization in Syria, all of the Syrian refugees could be restored to their home land, families could be reunited, and all of the millions who died can be properly buried and grieved, and the long road to healing can be generously paved.

We all have a voice. We could start public peace conferences, and start all over the world with a demand for peace and inclusion. We could find million of ways that we can use our COLLECTIVE voices and demand that big governments conform to the will of the people... People who are unyielding in our demand for transparency and the will of its people. 

We must choose. Choose humanity. Choose inclusion. Choose life. Choose a pathway for all refugees. Choose healthcare access and reform, for all people. Choose...powerfully, peacefully, with pure intention that all governments do not have the right to destroy and exploit our world, our environment. The earth, our water and our air must be vigorously protected. Greed must be confronted. World wide banking reform must be demanded. Governments must be run FOR and BY the people, not the corporations. We must act for the interests of the world's children. 

Affirmations:

I positively affirm a growth mindset. I de-emphasize all threats. The universe gives to me endlessly!!

All of my needs are met!

I allow myself to be supported and loved!

Wow! Awesome you guys!

Thank you Bright Angel for another wonderful discussion thread.

Oh my! Plan B —-I must make Plan A. 

I agree with everything that’s been said so far——

In response to Poppy's post:

Yes!! World peace! And, a back up plan!!

Yeah, I am shifting my own life around, so that I have LOTS of buckets, and not just one. 

Like, if my favorite basket in life is: 1) I am an athlete — then i would be totally screwed if I get injured. 

So, I keep thinking — lots of eggs, in five to seven baskets. it is like diversifying your investments — if one of your ‘baskets’ goes up in flames, you have four others that are still doing great! :)

In response to BrightAngel's post:

Define strategy going on!!

Love the flow, flexibility and the eternal state of perception, interpretation, abundance, opportunity and creation!! 

In response to BrightAngel's post:

great thread! adding a little bookmark here(:

“Greatness is best measured by how well an individual responds to the happenings in life that appear to be totally unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved.” -Marvin J. Ashton

your thoughts I'd like to play with(:

• I love the idea of creating life like a fun game in advance
• Love this:Having Preferences, Not Demands (You Can Survive It, You Can Stand It)

• So, I keep thinking — lots of eggs, in five to seven baskets. it is like diversifying your investments — if one of your ‘baskets’ goes up in flames, you have four others that are still doing great! :)

  note to self-return to today(:

˚ allowing all good 💗  

Posted on 23/07/2020.

My spirit has informed me I have good reason to expect a great life!