Anger out of control

About a year and a half ago, I took a job delivering for Fedex. It was all I could find and certainly not my dream job. I tried my best to accept it as just a temporary job until something else came along but the long hours (up to 14 hours a day) and the micro management got to me. I found myself getting angrier and angrier and after a while it just seemed to spiral out of control.

I watched myself become very critical, get ticked off at the smallest, stupidest things and felt like a walking volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. I had gone from basically, quiet and mild into a raging bull. It came to a head this week as I got threatened that if I didn’t get it under control, I would be fired. This was a whole new thing for me. I never had this problem in the past, never experienced so much anger, rage and frustration until I took this job. I saw myself but it didn’t seem like me. None of my behavior made any sense. Still doesn’t.

I have tried to figure out what could be behind it…. the why’s….but I come up blank.

Tuesday, I tried something to get it under control.I made myself go completely quiet…… absolutely, no reactions to anything, squashed everything….the frustration, anger…..anything I could to get it under control. It worked but at a cost. Not even good feelings could get through. I felt like the only way I could get it under control was to completely shut down. There may be better ways but nothing came to mind.

It has helped and though there have been minor spots it tried to erupt again, I have managed to keep it down. While I’m pleased with the progress, I know that it all still simmers just below the surface.

Any thoughts?

its been said anger as a response comes from a fear. you seem to have a resentment to working for fed ex, are you in fear of being stuck there longer than you might like. In any case try looking for the fear behind the anger and release on it. hope this helps

I admit, I do wonder about being stuck there but the thought doesn’t come up often. This job seems to have all the elements in a work environment that would make me crazy and frustrated. I know I don’t belong there! I delivered mail for 22 years, same route for 18 and was much happier. There is just something about this job that brings out the worst in me.

I tend to shut down myself when I get upset or angry. But I feel I can’t talk to amybody about my “issues” cause no one wants to hear about my problems or what I’m feeling about at the moment in time.

If I get angry at work and say something it’s like ‘What’s wrong with her?’ They can’t understand why I’m upset about whatever incident it might be. I could cite examples but it’d take up a lot of written space here. :-)

Gonna add those affirmations to my ever growing list: “ I am in the process of positive change” I am calm and relaxed and I am patient and calm with myself and others”. Thanks.

In response to dinkledorfer’s post:

First you want to get your body in a relaxed state where you can deal with your feelings. Alot of the anger has energy behind it. You can do this by doing a little walking or somekind of exercise before you go to work. Just the thought of going to work can stress you out right off the bat.

There is something called the 5 Tibetan rites exercises and are simple enough and it takes about 15 minutes or less. I would suggest you don’t drink any coffee unless you feel you need to wake up if you do drink green tea instead. 5 tibetan rites
If you cannot complete them all right a way don’t worry you will definitely later.

A Cold Shower! You think I’m kidding? It will take away anger, depression, and anxiety. Trust me it does!! Then have a good breakfast and you will see that you will not have the same reactions you have been having lately.

It will leave you in a state to think more clearly and make choices about what you want to do to better your situation.

Many times anger is the other side of depression. Has anything happened in your life in the last few years to bring you down? In your last job did you do a lot of walking or moving around. db was right driving in traffic all day can really stress you out. I hope this information can help you in some way.

Blessings,
Mary-GC

Nice posts guys.

I’m thinking, “Why is Dink so Angry?”

Maybe fear that he is stuck in a job he hates and can’t afford to leave it.
Maybe lots of frustration for many reasons. I’m stuck here. My talents are being wasted here. No one understand me here. I’m sick of all these hours. When I finally get off I don’t have any time to get anything done. Maybe lots of other reasons. Are there things outside of work that are contributing to all of this? Do you feel like maybe you have no one to talk to?

Are you constantly focusing on the negative?
Could changing your perspective in your mind help?
Think about the less fortunate more often.
Think of things you are grateful for.
Keep your eyes out for a better job – one that fits you better.
Life is hard. It has always been that way. To accept this truth will make life easier.
Don’t give up, it will get better. Lots of great suggestions in the earlier threads. Find a reason to move forward. I think of Victor Frankl
Helen Keller
W. Mitchell

I think, “Would I trade places with a child in Haiti or Somalia?”

You are a powerful, capable being. You can change your thinking and your circumstances. Don’t forget this. If everything were taken from you today, what would you do? Could you begin again? Yes, you could!

I hope I don’t sound preachy, that’s just what is crossing my mind.

One last thought. Get a rubberband and put it around your wrist tomorrow. Whenever you notice the rubber band turn your thoughts to the ideas in this thread.

Okay, I thought of some more stuff.

Life is trying to teach you something. What is it trying to teach you? What are you fighting against? What do you need to accept about your present situation that you are not accepting?

Do you feel like you have no power over your own life? You do! Maybe you’ve kind of forgotten that. Do you live in a free (more or less these days) country? Who is responsible for your life? Who is responsible for your actions? Who is responsible for how you feel? No one can make you feel angry without your consent.

Thanks db. You and Laurie had some great ideas too.
The Mirror:
Ego Awareness:

This thread has reminded me of things I still get angry about. I get angry at politicians when they won’t answer questions honestly. I watch too much political news, but I don’t get as frustrated about it as I used to.

I remember that: I have a bed and pillows and blankets. I have a shower and a bath. I have hot and cold water that comes directly into my house. I have more than enough good tasting food to eat. I don’t have to worry about someone coming and dragging me out of my house and cutting my arm off or killing me. I have air conditioning in my house. If they took my house and put me on the street I have enough brains to do something about it. I have my arms and legs. I can walk. I can talk. I have people who love me. I’m not in prison. I’m not a drug addict. I’m not being abused. I can read. I know how to catch a fish and build a shelter out of sticks and leaves. I am an eternal being. When I die, I don’t die. I can see the same sunsets as the richest king who ever lived. I can find great joy in the laugh or hug of a child. I know it’s never as bad as it seems, it could always be worse.

I’m reminded of Emerson and Thoreau and the beauty of simple things.
Walden

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent
people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation
of honest critics and endure the
betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a
redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has
breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Emerson

Dylan Thomas
I Sit and Look Out
The Road Not Taken
Finish Every Day

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills
countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment
one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur
to help one that would never
otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events
issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor all manner
of unforseen incidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamed
would have come his way.
I have learned a deep respect
for one of Goethe’s couplets: Whatever you can do,
or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius,
power and magic in it.
W.H. Murray
The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

Knowing others is intelligence.
Knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength.
Mastering yourself is true power.
If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.
If you stay in the center
and embrace death with your whole heart, you will endure forever. – Tao Te Ching # 33

Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)

Do Not Worry 25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Napoleon Hill

Hi! WOW! is all I can say to all this inspiring eye opening input from all of you I truly enjoy reading it.well not only this one.You all have a way of bringing your point across in a way that is understandable and at the same time so touching.I feel like I am right there next to you and we are having a one an one conversation.MCM,&Laurie(there are others)Thank-You for all the information you post (and the others I always check it out as time permits) and I must tell you” I ALWAYS ENJOY IT” alot of it has come in a time when I truly need it in my life.!I award again (Cause I feel like doing it again LOL )To our Ms.Laurie & MR.Themancookieman : ) I hope that “Dinkledorfer” is doing well and letting go of that anger which is not healthy for him and any one around him.I hope he has found all this advice helpful because though I don“t suffer from anger I know a person who is living with someone with alot of anger and it’s causing alot of health problems for her.He is always right doesn’t want to hear anything she has to say.Does what he likes disrespect her comes to their home late and it has nothing to do with work (he is an emt)she has found proof of unfaithfulness.She has forgiven him too many times.I think he see’s her as not much for him because he was married to a doctor (they are not divorce she lives in another state.She is with someone else for about 8 years.He’s been with my friend for about 5 or 6 years.He has two grown children with her one is 25 years she lives with her boyfriend and his son who is 22 years and in college)He plans and never tells her anything till the last minute.He is planning on going them and is getting his ticket and did not even ask her if she wanted to go with him (she has her own money)When she says she would like to go with him he puts alot of excuses.Everything comes out of my friends pocket she does not ask for nothing.He doesn’t pay rent,doesn’t give for food etc…He always criticize her.Tell her she should dress a certain why that he likes her to show more skin.One day she wore a blouse just to please him and she told me she felt very uncomfortable wearing it.And she was meeting some of his family for the first time.He has embarrassed her in from of us( her friends)and even her and his families. and even bought her to tears.He yells at her in the street for no reason at all.We have witness this.If we try to say something she gets nervous because he tells us to mind our business.She told me the first time she met his mother she told her he is the type to get upset and then is back to normal like nothing has happens.This is true because we have witness this.He has yelled at my friend,at his mother and family members from both sides and just about anyone.He has these very loud outburst and he opens his eyes wide and brings his face close to the other person.He has been let go of many jobs.It’s a miracle he has a job.My friend and all of us (We feel more for her she is the one dealing with all this daily.)she feels and all of us feel the same like we are walking on egg shell.His family doesn’t invite him anymore to anything they make excuses and her family and we her friends when we visit if he is there we are afaid to say anything to trigger him off.Why do you think he is behaving like this?.He is also the type to say what’s on his mind.He just saids it without thinking.He once commented he misses his life style from before.Though he says is all in the pass? we love our friend and we want to give her support but it is taking a toll on us also.Any advice will be so much appreciated.Thanks!

HI! db,& Godscreation good advice for dinkledorfer and anyone else who needs it.db I must say I LOL when you mention you and Brain Tracy (traveling buddy) and wayne dyer I have read some of their work.I award both another award. : )

In response to cuqui’s post:

Thank you cuqui!