Do I Need A Rebuild

article written on the 7th of December 2006 by Lee Nutter

This is a follow on article from my previous article about the need to start from scratch again. I received a lot of feedback from that article. The two most frequent questions were how do you know if you need rebuilding and how do you go about doing it if you do?

Unfortunately, to these questions I had to reply with - I don’t know. The articles on bmindful are written from personal experiences. When I wrote the previous article, ‘self destruction’ (as Tyler Durden puts it) had only just occurred to me as a possibility. Until then I had thought that the best way to move forward was to push on.

Pushing on is one alternative to the rebuild method of making progress. I say one alternative because there are undoubtedly alternative approaches to progression that I have not yet uncovered. I also want to make it clear that no particular way is the correct way in every situation. If you ‘rebuilt’ yourself every time you wanted to make progress you probably wouldn’t get anywhere. At the same time, if you were attempting to push on blindly despite the fact that your foundations were crumbling beneath you you probably wouldn’t get very far either.

So how do you know that it is time for a rebuild? One way that I have discovered is testing yourself when you are down. An example: how easy is it to have a great day when you are on holiday in some lavish resort on a remote tropical island miles away from all your concerns? How easy is it to feel down when you have a bad day at work, your late home because of terrible traffic and your sleep is disrupted by late night construction down the road?

If you are trying to center yourself and prevent external factors from influencing your internal state then it should be easy to feel fantastic in both situations. If you are having trouble relaxing after your drawn out trip home, despite your best efforts in the contrary then you could just need more work - just push on - or there could be a deeper issue there.

Another example, very much related to the previous. You are attempting to be calm and nonchalant in all situations. When everything goes your way you have no problems maintaining your cool. If you’re put under pressure and you snap, it could mean you need more practice - just push on - or there could be a deeper issue here.

Obviously the ‘test yourself’ approach isn’t very scientific, and it will not give you a definite answer either way, but if you find yourself acting contrary to the way you want to when you are tested, and no amount of pushing on can see you successful, maybe it is time for a rebuild.

Don’t get me wrong. Rebuilding isn’t the cowards way out at all. I am all about persistence, but it seems to me that pushing on blindly might be an ignorant thing to do some times. You have to use common sense. As I mentioned in a previous article, rules have exceptions and rules are sometimes made to be broken. They say practice makes perfect, but Einstein, one of the smartest men to ever spend time on this earth, defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Maybe a rebuild isn’t the right option, but if pushing on isn’t getting you anywhere anymore then if nothing else you need a different approach. There is an infinite number of different approaches, it is just a matter of looking at your reality from a different perspective. Just keep that rebuild option in mind as something you can use if you can’t align yourself with the values of the person you want to be.

I absolutely expect some feedback on this article. This is a serious issue right here, and I anticipate and hope for some controversy. As I said, the bmindful articles are written based on personal experiences. Most articles are written after the event, so I can look back and say ‘hey, this worked for me’ - this particular article, and the one before it, happened in real time so I am having a little trouble articulating the flow of new awareness that is happening right now.

Once again, feedback is essential! I really do enjoy receiving feedback on this stuff. I don’t mind if you disagree fiercely - the more perspectives myself and bmindful as a community are exposed too the better off we all are!